LOVE BEHIND BARS

Just watched half of this show on the "E" Channel.THS Investigates:"Love Behind Bars"It was about people in the freeworld that are attracted to people in prison.I could write a book on what I saw in prison about that stuff.Matter-of-fact...I was on the net my last year in prison(a pen-pal type site),and got the craziest mail you could imagine from all over the world.My motive was actually boredom.My family wrote,and my parents supported me in every way possible,so there was really no need for me to reach out for any other attn. elsewhere.In fact,it can be downright dangerous,as it's public information your release date.(go figure).So I took a chance.I DID get ballsey after I got out and actually met a pen-pal from Killeen,Tx,and he was definately what I call a KEEPER.Good guy,ex-military,a real sweetheart.But I guess I just wasn't ready for a committment(like I thought I was) and I put the boundries quick.Now that I think about it,I guess after being locked down for 4 and a half years,I wanted more time w/ my 2 girls who were still in school,and time to get some real freedom.
Fast forward---no rewinding to the girls in prison.I had pics stolen from me,and wound up finding out that they got used by some other woman that was much older and looked MUCH DIFFERENT.UuGH! Which is against the law,but I guess she felt she had nothing to lose since she was doing a long sentence.But I knew women that were actually banking SOOO much money from several pen-pals that it was like a job for them.They would just use basically one letter and rewrite it to fit each man they wrote to make it fit....saying things like:"I love you,can't wait to get out and be with you,etc..." and these poor guys believed they were the only ones that the girl wrote....NOT.
But on the other hand....there were some really good hearted women that had no family that could afford to make the long drive to visit,or send commissary money,so they sent out their real picture and actually found a nice person to write and befriend her.There are many material things that the state prison does not provide and it's really wrong if u ask me.Shampoo?? C'mon? I know punishment should be given for the crime...of course.But to not even give you shampoo and give you a case if you get caught "traffic and trading" (borrowing).A case meaning MORE punishment inside.Your fed at about 4 p.m. and by 10 or 11 p.m.,you get hungry.So in desperation for these items,alot of women will say anything in a letter to get commissary money sent to Huntsville Texas,so it would go on your books.
Back to my statement "good-hearted women".That's surely a loaded statement,because I actually met some of the sweetest people,and then I find out later she killed her parents or her husband brutally.The nicest peeple I met sometimes robbed and killed people,and so my faith in first impressions,or character judging,I decided,was NOT exactly on time.I used to think I could get someone's number(so-to-speak) by just talking to them,but not anymore.Some of the best con artists/career criminals are all thrown into dorms with 155 other women to polish their stories of why they are ALL mostly innocent.I swear it seemed as though everyone I met,practically claimed they were innocent! Like:"Hey,I was just IN the crack house,but wasn't breaking any laws".So I'm thinking: something is wrong w/ THAT picture for sure.lol
Anyways...yes,I was guilty of my crime.I forged checks.Even though my boyfriend of 2 years filed on me,and TOLD the D.A. that HE signed them under the impression that I would only spend a certain amount,but yet I abused that and spent well over the intended amount...so they still considered that forgery,even when the BF tried to tell the D.A. he wanted to withdraw his accusations,the state had already took over the charges and pushed them through.Of course I was guilty,because the money was used for drugs and he knew it,and basically it was his way of saving my life,he said.Plus,what really kicked it all off was a total misunderstanding involving my daughters father(my EX).He thought I cheated on him w/ my Ex,and I didn't.He realized that fact later,but it was too late...the dominoe effect had already begun.
The thing is....this show was right on time,and even showed the unit I was on in Gatesville,and the inmate talking about the pen-pal thing is sooo right.Alot of times it's the only think you have to look forward to.I realize it's not supposed to be like staying at the Hilton...but if a person is destine to be released back into society,treating him/her like an animal only makes the whole situation worse.But continuous contact w/ the freeworld and what's REAL as opposed to FAKE on the inside of those walls,SURE does make a difference in how a person reacts when they are released back into society.It's been proven.
That's my opinion for what it's worth.
Just got off work,and had to get that off my chest.Work just drove me in the ground,and I better get on top of my emails before I get called something ugly like white trash again.Whoever made that comment on a recent post can kiss my ass,btw.People always seem to have the balls to say such things,but never leave a link back to themselves.I'm woman enough to say what I feel and give you a way to respond back if you care to.Some people can be so small minded.Sure,I may have made mistakes and if your opinion of me is white trash...so freakin be it.But I have a key that's called DELETE,not to mention I know what I am and what I'm NOT.So if you wanna be that sucker that calls me out of my name,do what cha' gotta do.I'm a big girl,I can handle it.
(big smiles)