ALL FAMILY MEMBERS STEP FORWARD!

~ATTENTION FAMILY MEMBERS~ Could you please step forward at this time? lol

Oh well.....never has been any shame in my game.Should I start being ashamed now? Nahhh! I don't think so. ; }

My sister in Germany is pissed at me.Have I lost any sleep over it? None that I can think of.But what she fails to realize......is SHE'S not half as pissed at me,as "I" am at me! Yes,I wanted to go to Germany,but I still haven't got my passport,and secondly:There is no way Ray would let me go without a huge fight! She finds it hard to believe someone can have THAT much influence on where I go or what I do.But it's true.I can't believe it sometimes either,but some say he's the driving force that's keeping me out of trouble.I'll let him take "some"credit....but not alot.I think "I'M" the only one that can keep ME out of trouble.Anyways, I just got another e-mail from her saying that she hasn't wanted to e-mail me lately because she might say the wrong thing....and THEN she goes on to let me have it (both barrels).Hell....she can't be 1/2 as disappointed as me for winding up in this country setting,where the job market sux.Not that it sux as much......but that to work any decent job,it takes some traveling....My car doesn't want to do that,so I compromise.What can I say?

Then two: She's mad cuz I promised I would be coming to stay with her and her new (German)husband....He's super-cool BTW.I know since my nephew has gone off to college,she's probably missing him alot too,so that's probably an underlying factor that hasn't occured to her yet.Dang,I'd be willing to bet,If she has this link,I'll probably hear about it,on that note.lol

I sent this link to my blog, a few years ago, to some people....but who?? I can't remember.Or whether those people still have this link.....I'm not sure about that either.I figure I'll hear about it sooner or later.I TRY to keep their anonymity.....but anyone who knows me,knows exactly who I'm referring to.

I'm proud that my sister has gone on to be a very hard working,successful person.....I screwed around and took the easy way out....but the funny part about it, in the LONG run,doesn't turn out to be so friggin easy....if that makes any sense! But it's taken alot of hard knocks,and bumping my head a few times to finally understand my purpose for being here,and just because I didn't take her route in life,doesn't mean that MY route isn't equally as important!! Oh c'mon Cris! Lighten up on me.I chose this life,and it's NOT a life that I can't get out of....it's that I choose NOT to.At least not right this second.Maybe soon,but not right now.I have my reasons.As lame as they may sound to the next person,they are still "MY" reasons.

When the time comes,I'll make some changes.You'll be the first to know.You always are,sister!

I love you.....but there is no need in putting me down,because I'm not doing what YOU think I should be doing.I figure....as long as I'm not screwing up....that's a plus.I can build,instead of tear down.But there's no need in you standing at the bottom telling me what a dumbass I am for not building it YOUR way.Give me time....and maybe a little credit.

As an old AA member would say"I may not be the person that I should be....but THANK GOD,I'm not the person that I USED to be"