So Confused...blahhhh...what's new.

I filled out an application on Monday to lease to own a house.I talked to the owner today and I'll just be damn.I got approved.$1,500 down and $550 a month for 9 years.On one hand I am friggin thrilled....but where I live now is stable and all,but I'm renting.The down payment I can handle,but a friend(he's a 79 year old guy) is wanting to pay for all the other deposits on water,electric,and some other bills so that I can get into this place faster.Plus a couple wants it as bad as I do,so I have to jump on this deal FIRST thing in the a.m.....BUT.....yup there's always a BUTT in the way,huh?
This friend R.,is talking about spending LOTS of time w/ me since he will be living literally a few houses away.I have a funny feeling R thinks I'm gona be MORE than just a friend...and I've TOLD him I like being single and well....dannnng,it's NOT his age that bothers me...it's just I can't see me being anything BUT friends w/ him.He's about to drop more than a few bucks and that's got me feeling wierd about accepting ANYTHING from him.I just got a really wierd feeling about this,especially when he slipped and said"this could be OUR room",when we were looking at itUUGH!That thought gagged me...but gosh-dang!! This place is AWESOME!!!! 3 bedroom,2 bath...garden tub and seperate shower.Walk-in closet that's as big as the master bath,including shelves in it.BIG ass kitchen w/ an island in the middle,fireplace...huge back yard,and at the end of the dead end street w/no neighbors up my ass.lol..It's just gorgeous!!
It just sounds too good to be true.Well...tomorrow is the day.Since today is my birthday... maybe this could be the best birthday gift EVER.
But things are going so well where I'm at,it's just that I can't stand not being a home owner anymore since Ray and I split.which,btw...that lakehouse is still in my name(long story)...but if I force him out, he promised to burn me out of the house and my family out of theirs.He's done this kind of shit before,and I have NO DOUBT in my mind that he's do it again.My lawyer even knows about what he's done in the past,and still thinks I should take that chance...but I can't imagine waking up w/ it burning,or even selling it and sleeping peacefully ANYWHERE.I've been in a house fire before and I STILL have nightmares about that time.So I'll leave things the way they are as far as that goes.
Guess I'll TRY and get some sleep.I've been tossing this back and forth in my head,and STILL don't know for sure what the f*** to do.I have to go first thing in the a.m to go sign all the paperwork to get this place,and dammit,I just don't know if it's the right thing to do.My daughter says PLEASE DO IT MOM...cuz I'll only be about 10 minutes away from her and A'million,plus A'million would even have his own room.My Mom says DON'T DO IT!! Cuz this guy sounds crazy enough to do something devious when he gets rejected...so I'm sooooo freakin confused.
If I haven't been by your blogs,please forgive me....I've been sooooo busy.I will be poppin in asap though.