OK--so I opened my mouth and said I would put an update pic of my battle wounds...but I forgot to take one...so here is a pic of me and A'million today...of course he ALWAYS takes a great pic! But I just got out of the tanning bed and I'm a bit pinkish(as u can see)lol...Notice the redneck? And noooo that doesn't make me a bona-fide redneck!!HA..Although when I right click & enlarge the pic,I still look like crap,but thank goodness for makeup...cuz I'm tired of people asking.It's embarrassing to admit...so I don't.This seems to be the only place I can let it all hang out...so 2 speak.
My daughter seen my eye and leg and bruises etc...and went ape shit,talking about killing him.And of course she doesn't understand why I even F*** with him...but then,neither do I,so that makes two of us.Ok,so I really needed to get off that last post,cuz I'm STILL the idiot in the situation...no matter HOW I try and rationalize all of this.The REAL nutcase is ME for even hoping things would ever be any different.I can't help it.I miss the guy I met.He's friggin gone,and I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.I miss the way he done alot of things that no other guy has done since....does the word "multiple"sound too bad to admit?Nevermind.;-{
I don't miss losing hair every fight.Lieing to the doctor at the damn hospital,when he asked him to leave the room,so I would "fess up".Hell,I could keep nameing the good,the bad,and the ugly all night...but what's the friggin point?He keeps calling me.I know I should avoid this..but why in the crap is it so hard to "just hang up"??
"It is what it is"!
DAMN-IT Tammi!! MOOOOVE ON!!!!!! I'm driving myself crazy,I think.
Another thing....I want to move.Since Mamie is gone,this house is too big,and well....It just feels so numb here with her gone.I can't go into her room.I wonder if I'm being wierd about that.I just can't go in there.Matter-of-fact...I think this a*** kicking has kept my mind sort of (selfishly) off of missing her as bad as I thought I would.Even though she and I were at odds sometimes....I STILL miss her like crazy.I asked her son if I could post her picture,and he thinks maybe not now.I understand that.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I said I would
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20 comments:
They are precious and a joy!
Easier said than done, but you at least recognize the problem. Wishing you the best dear Tammi!
You look great as does the little tyke.
You know, I am sure you can find someone to give you multiple orgasms without the multiple beatings.
If not, then get two guys who can give you one each and then they can beat the shit out of each other after
NACHTWACHE-- I re-read your latest comment on my last post like 5 times or more,so it would sink in.Then put you on my faves list after I could see well enough to do it.(yes,I'm a bit of a cry-baby these days).
WALKER---THEN,I go read YOUR site and go straight into laughing tears!
It seems as though you figure anybody in the bathroom more than an hour would be spanking a monkey!Your so funny!
Oh,and are you kidding? Now there's a thought....multiple sounds fine...but I don't do multiple dudes...sounds like the answer to all my problems...hmmmm....let me think...
.....NOT!!
Hi Tammi,
Sorry I just saw your comment on my CCC War blog, I'm so bad at checking that one. Answer to your question my main one is the Running Away? I'll help you pack. Stop by anytime you like.
I agree with the others, I'm glad you see it! It's so hard and easy to say what to do, but no one knows or understand until it's them in that situation!
Hang in there girl, if you ever need an ear come on over!
Hugs, Lex :)
Tammi: Save your life and get away to safety! You are so worth it and have so much living to do healthfully! You are in my sincere thoughts and prayers for the BEST! lol!!!!!
Hi Tammi. I am just coming home from work at 4:52 AM..Going to make hubbies lunch and head to bed.. LOL.. I know I know. It sounds funny. But anyway Keep telling yourself he isntn worth the trouble woman. I mean I agree with your daughter but I dont want to spend the rest of my life in prison.. I e-mailed you the other night. Not sure if it went into spam or not. Well i need to get going Talk to you soon.
Michael--
Everytime I stay away for a few days,he has a way of reaching me.HOW he's getting my cell #'s...I don't know...but I honestly don't think he's gona be happy till I'm dead...I mean,I doubt he would seriously kill me...but he's "accidently" choked me till the lights went out on me.So I feel like I ran into the fire,instead of FROM it the other day.I know...BIG DUHHH
Hi Tammi :) Well, in the end, you're the one in your own shoes and we may all have our opinions but eventually we aren't the one with all the heartache that you're going through. You're a strong strong woman, and although I wish things were different for you, it is heartening to know that you ARE seeing the situation from all sorts of angles and trying to do the best that you can :) *major hugs from letti & jnr*
what a CUTEY.
hey man, your too good for that crap. start with you.
fuck him.
Tammi when you get time I have a giveaway going on my running away blog. Come over if you would like :).
Alexis @ Running Away
When you love someone you look past all sorts of faults. They say love is blind and it's true. Sometimes we couldn't get through this life without the power of denial. But other times its that same denial that nearly gets us killed. It sounds like you've got all sorts of heartache in your life right now. I'm sorry for that. There are so many tired old PC things to say about all of this, but none of it means much. So I'll just say how sorry I am to hear that you are having to deal with so much pain all at once. And also, I know a cop in Ft. Worth who might put a beatin' on your ex if you asked him to. Just sayin'. No, I didn't say that. Forget I said that. But it's true.
I totally agree Steve-o,
When you love someone,you tend to look past alot of things that most other people wouldn't dare look over...Other than my roomate,the rest of the issues in my life are really really my fault.
No,I didn't pick that fight,or even haul off and hit him (like some say Rihanna did)...who knows about their situation...but alot of people are bashing her for "going back" to him...but I understand she's young,and probably thinks like I have been thinking fort almost 9 years now...that maybe HE'LL CHANGE....but all I know is in MY siuation,he leads me to believe that he would stop screaming at me,hitting me w/ no warning (or with warning)...hell,we even made a contract and BOTH of us signed each others' contracts! Sounds corny,I know..but none of these things seem to change anything.
It's a rainy day...I'm not working today (not due to weather,btw)
But I actually almost pointed my car in the wrong direction this morning...knowing he's prolly rained out.
I know...WHAT A DUMB THOUGHT!
Don't think of him as rained out but washed out for good
Ohh, thanks Tammi!
It is all a bit much right now, the beating, loosing your roommate and that means more loneliness. One day at a time and stick with friends and family.
Walker-- Good point,but I was thinking since he gets rained out alot doing outside construction work,then he's prolly off work today.
I didn't call and ask.I just figured as much as I was turning on the street that would take me back there.
I wish he would quit texting me and leaving such stupid messages.Lately I keep hitting "7" (delete) before listening to the message...then I wonder if he's threatening to come over here,so I go back and undelete sometimes.
It's hard to just ignore him.
Nachtwache--
I'm actually sticking to myself more now than ever.I'm just sick and tired of my family and friends getting on my a*** for going over there.Like my aunt was just telling my mother "that's what Tammi gets for going back over there"! OK OK! I know that's what I get...but I don't wanna hear it from them! Plus my mother isn't someone I can confide in anyways.She's got her own "beater" issues to deal with.
Hey girl, stopped in to thank you for your comments. You're good people. A-Million looks like he's too happy in Mamaws arms. Cute pic. I know lots of people give great advise but I also know you have to follow your heart. I just pray it leads you in the RIGHT direction! Be Strong!!!
If you're mom got beat, that's what would have influenced you in picking the same type of man.
Children get shaped by what they see and grow up with.
You definitely need safe people that you can talk to, that won't judge you or make unsupportive remarks. It's a good idea to stay away from others. Are there support groups for abused women in your area? They might be a good place to get the support you need.
Take good care!
Tam''s no woman should be beaten or hair pull out that is not right. You must move on and find someone who will treat you like a woman and not a punching bag.
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