MEN!

I'll have to admit.Living the life of a swinging single ABSOLUTELY has it's advantages.(well....maybe I'm not exactly swingin' at the moment)....Then again,being single,it has it's disadvantages as well.I try to stay as busy as possible so that I don't think about either....but sometimes it's inevitable.I don't....like I USED to....go out and hang around the club scene and meet men randomly,cuz these days....#1.I want alcahol to NOT be involved in any way.OK...so if this person I meet(in the future) happens to drink,and can do it without being an idiot and embarrassing themselves or ME...then cool.But WHERE do you meet someone these days if you have given up the clubbing life? I can't imagine meeting THAT special person in the checkout line at the convenient store....or while I am playing yahtzee and Monopoly with my dear sister,which is what I do w/ my free time(whoop-ee...fun-fun) Seriously tho,my sister is a blast to play games with.OK so that bring me to #2.The one person I have thought alot about is not responding fast enough for me to see the REAL interest in me....otherwise I would prolly go peep the scene elsewhere.Who knows.
Sure,I don't want to make it sound as though I am a Miss America....no way hosea! But I DO have my share of compliments when I go to even the grocery store sometimes....but I don't pursue anything.In fact I basically discourage them from tring to get my phone # etc...WHY? I meannn...WHY?? Ya think maybe it has somethng to do with my EX? Or maybe I'm just enjoying NOT having to answer to anybody.Even my last roomate made me feel as though she always had the upperhand,and I had to walk on egg shells,cuz she was so insecure/emotional....sensative.My every move was sensored and required an explanation as if I were in a controlling relationship.Even though sometimes my past HAS to run through peoples' mind.....so maybe the intention of being nosey is hat simply someone cares that I may wind up back into trouble...maybe the ultimate hell... back in prison.I don't know.
But I am finding myself awful lonely when I get off work,tired and could use someone to say "How was your day"? and then throw me in the shower,then on the floor and my body(thinkin aloud).
Fast forwarding now past the pity pot-------> All in ALL I am happy.Struggling.But happy and content w/ my surroundings.
Just a tad lonely.Booo--hoooo-hhooo.LOL
Ohhh doggone...time is up on my library computer.Ca hardly wait 2 set up house and get my computer out of that cold ass storage building.
Have a great weekend everyone!!