Daddy:Do you remember saying (on more than one occasion) that one of the things about me that you love the most is that when I open my mouth,no telling what flies out,and that the fact that I speak my mind is a trait that you really loved about me.
Well,when I talked to you yesterday on the phone,I must admit....I was utterly shocked and actually kind of embarrassed when you told me that you found my "Tammi in Texas" blog.I never dreamed that my own Daddy who I cherish and adore w/ all my heart had access to the REAL inner-most thoughts and feelings that I publish for the world to see.
Mom:You know I have always adored the ground you walk on,because as we both know...you have never(since I was 3 years old,when u married Daddy)...well,you've NEVER played the "mean-step-mom" role.You have been a wonderful Mom,and if you read back on all my postings....all the way back from when I started blogging in 2002...you will never find an unkind word about you OR Daddy out of any of my rambling,ditzy,blog postings.Sure....like any parent/child relationships,everyone has an occasional disagreement...but never anything for me to blog about.We always work things out.
WHO was there for me during the hardest part of my life,in prison?You and Daddy.Who kept me in commissary to make sure I had shampoo and proper soap and munchies?Was there anybody in my entire family that drove through rain sleet or snow to see me for visitation every 3 weeks or so,offering me encouragement and motivation to get back out and be the person that you guys KNEW I could be? NO...there was YOU & Daddy coming to see me...even on days I KNEW Daddy or you weren't feeling well but yet and still you drove those 4 plus hour trips just to see me just for one hour.
I can understand your anger,as I've always tried to let you know that no matter what....I'm O.K.,and a I don't want ya'll to worry about me....and then you probably read things that haven't been exactly OK in my life.But please know....these are things that I can handle.You 2 KNOW...that no matter what...I ALWAYS bounce back.Maybe you've read things that I haven't shared with ya'll....and living 4 1/2 hours away from me and with me not calling like I used to call or come see you(or vice-versa) just means that I miss the closeness we once had before Ray came along and things got so twisted up....with him calling you after the break-up telling you things that caused ya'll to worry and doubt the fact that I am STILL the Tammi that sat at those visitation tables and promised you from the bottom of my heart that I would do what it takes to get out and piece my life back together.
Daddy,even though you still work,and may retire soon(or maybe not)...the fact is...you have a bad heart.So some things,I just can't share with you,because I don't want you worrying about me,and stressing yourself out over my trivial mess.But I feel so terrible that you've found all my REAL ups and downs online.(blushing)
I considered closing down my site.....but ya know? I've met alot of really nice people.Genuinely nice people here and the sincerity of my blogger-bluds seems to be just THAT.My life is an open book,....it's just that some of the pages you may want to skip over.lol
I LOVE YOU MOM and DAD.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
DEAR DADDY & MOM
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Dear Tammi's Mom and Dad,
You have no idea how many blogger parents go through this.
Your daughter is a beautiful and wonderful woman. She cares deeply for you. She loves you and I have never read anything negative regarding you.
The only thing I can think of is: If you walked in her room and found her diary would you pick it up and read it?
Please let her guide you to the posts that she approves of you reading.
My Dad only reads the posts that I direct him too. The rest is just the way we communicate amongst each other.
She loves you and that is so clear to me....
I am so afraid she will quit blogging and it would leave a great big void in my life. We are a family of sorts. I know it is hard to understand. We support each other through our everyday lives and she is a beautiful part of my life.
I hope this makes sense..
Bless you....
Raggedy
Hang in there sweetie!
Huge Hugs
We are here if you need us...
Love you!
A lovely letter to your parents Tammi. I can't imagine what mine would think should they stumble across my page and read it...lucky for me, they don't have a computer lol
I think that our blogs can be personal diaries/journals and there are some people that just shouldn't read them. It's ok for those that don't REALLY know us, but a bit 'funny' for those that do. I have a gf who said she would stop reading my website because it was like my personal diary. Saying that, she still comes in and out and reads me, and to be honest, I wish the hell she didn't because there's plenty I would've said about some of the troubles I've had with my relationship with her. Just purging more than anything.
If my Mum had read the post I put up the other week about my relationship with her, she'd have been mortified and hurt. It read in quite a negative light light, not intentionally but just my thoughts. I love my Mum dearly but there is plenty I don't share with her and my father, and mainly for the reason, like you here, because I don't want either of them to worry about me.
Um, think this comment is big enough now lol
Oh, and one more thing, PLEASE don't bugger off, I'd miss you big time! *hugs*
I also think it's wise to remember that regardless of anything or everything that we can do in our lives or the way we think/feel about things, our parents will always be there and love us regardless. (well yours and mine will anyway lol)
Sorry to hear this Tammi. I am glad, at least for now, you have decided not to delete your site. After a while you come to think of people of your friends even though you may never meet them. I sure would miss you.
You know this is a very tough thing. I tend not to write to terribly much about me on my blog that everyone could not read. But still there are things I would rather my parents would not see. Not because I am keeping something from them but because I don't want to burden them with it. If I need some help I know where I can always turn but it is my life and I need to make a go of it myself.
It is strange that you can share something with a stranger that you do not feel you can share with family but it happens to everyone. I know it happens to me. My guess would be that your parents didn't share with you when some bad things happened with them.
I know my Dad lost his job and took a while to get another and I really did not know what was happening as they kept most of it from me. It is just what we do to our loved ones.
I know you love your Daddy and your Mom Tammi. I am sure they love you too very much. I am sure you can work this out. I hope your parents can treat this as a private part of your life and, perhaps, you can share just a little bit more with them so they do not feel left out.
Anyway, what do I know but, I wish nothing but the best to you and your Daddy and Mom.
I don’t think it would bother me if my parents find my blog and it has nothing to do with the fact that they can’t read English or have no idea how to turn a computer on. J
Sounds like you have parents that love you and care about you very much.
I don’t think they care why you were there, just that you were ok.
They were probably happy the knew where you were and could find you for a change ha ha ha
You can smack me later.
Very nice letter very nice post.
“Waves” at Mr and Mrs Tammi’s in Texas Parents
Yikes! My blog is a personal journal and I would hate for any of the people I know in real life to read it! Hope your parents realize that even though a blog is very public, it's anononously public! And should stay that way....
You're right. It 'is' your journal, like a diary where you can say your soul....and if you find someones diary you're not supposed to open it, or at least if you do, you have to understand that it's their truth, and keep your peace?
Well done hon.
i'm literally in tears reading this, i hope your mom and dad understand how much you love them...
my blog hasn't had my most private thoughts for a while now...but i'm not sure my parents would even bother to look for mine...
i'm not sure anyone understands another person inside out, hopefully this will bring you closer...
*hugs*
Tammi, I dated a guy last year who told my brother that I called him my white knight on my blog. My little brother went and read that. I've been exasperated at times and will blog about virtually everything but like you, I felt a little funny about it. My entire family knows about my blog. My sister comments once in a while...my daughter corrects me if I'm the slightest bit wrong so while I love to write I'm not allowed creative license (LOL).
Now, to your parents. Tammi's mom and dad: I just read that letter. I can understand as the parent of three children ages 23-15 that you might not like some of you read about her life but the things I've read ABOUT the two of you on here are a huge testimony to the love she has for you.
Online diaries are the big thing these days...and I think it's sometimes like getting free therapy, too. But if your parents found your blog and were concerned, maybe it was a Hand Above who made it happen. I I hope it all smooths out...we all make mistakes in life and I'd say it sounds like these two raised someone who knows how to say "I love you Mom and Dad" and mean it. :)
wow, I would be mortified if my parents found my blog! I understand what you mean and it sounds like they are your best support. You are fortunate that they love you so much.
wow, I would be mortified if my parents found my blog! I understand what you mean and it sounds like they are your best support. You are fortunate that they love you so much.
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