U DRPPED A BOMB ON ME

Yipppeee! I got the 8-5 shift today.I just loove it! Will see the new (fluctuating) schedual when I get to work,but I hope for the next few days I have 8-5.After that....who cares?
OHHH WOW! OUT OF TIME!!!
I have a bomb to drop,but I don't suppose it's gona be really much of a BOMB.....maybe more like a hand grenade,as everyone knows and has listened to my boo-hoo'ing and whining for quite some time now.....well,relief is on the way.No more chances for Ray.I had fully intended to wait until I got another car,since mine was wrecked with good-4-nothing liability insurance....well,I hated to go to my mom's for ONE thing...but mostly I dreaded going without transportation.But after doing some serious weighing it out....what is more important to me? Peace of mind(and not getting my head knocked off,btw)....or stay and wait until I can afford another car.It's not happening as fast as I had hoped,so I am left w/ one choice....and that's get to Mom's while I still have my teethe and my freedom.Freedom,meaning a person can only take SO much.
So am I sad and depressed? Awww hell no! The only issue I am stressing on now,is that since Ray has been layed off,he has been working for the owner of where we live and THIS time,I REALLY can't let him know when I leave.Just the mention of it last time,all hell broke loose and I wound up dumped out at mom's with none of my things.No pics....no computer....NOTHING.Luckily(most) everything is in storage but about a(full) car load of things are here where we have been staying,so I figure it would only take myself and one other person round 30 minutes to be out.I would have to arrange for someone to come from Tyler,which is over an hour drive,while Ray will be gone,so that's gona be the ONLY problem.I had the PERFECT opportunity to do this once,but wound up spending the extra $$ on keeping my drivers license and storage/bank fees.....so I can't kick myself in the rear for shooting that wad.
So many of my blogger friends(you know who u are) have heard me moan and groan for a while now....so I figure it's time to get off the pity pot and do something.Waiting for things to change is waisting my time,and I'm honestly tired of seeing so many ppl happy while I'm feeling like I am in a jail cell w/ a screaming cutting-me-down constantly prison guard.Ohhhhh the thought of my new freedom gets me so excited I can barely sleep.(big smiles)
Of course everyone knows there is always 2 sides to every story,and I KNOW I am not so easy to live w/ everyday.But there are at least 100 things that he does to ME,that I wouldn't dare think of doing to HIM or even ANYONE as far as that goes.I'm leaving here w/ a clear conscience,cuz in my mind and heart,it's BEEN OVER for quite some time,I have just felt stuck.Mom says....c'mon and get out before he kills you,and isn't it crazy that I told her that if I have to stay here much longer I WANT HIM TO KILL ME!I can't be more serious,either.
What Ray fails to realize is that he will be SOOO much happier without me,because he is so miserable and negative 24-7,and that is simply NOT the Ray I met 5 years ago.When I TRYED to rationally talk to him about us seperating...after he dumped me at mom's and said my things were gona be sold and burnt....then he came back saying the usual"I will change,I will go to counseling for my anger,I will go to Church,just ONE MORE CHANCE"....This time,I had to fight back the laughter cuz that record is played out.
So.....I already called my internet company,and there is a dial-out line,plus(how cool is this?) Mom has cable,so here comes high-speed!! Anyways...1st things 1st.
Gotta burn-the-breeze 1st.I know this lady in town (this small one horse town) that says that if I give her some money to help w/ her rent,she'll be here in a flash and have me out of here and at my Mom's.But nobody that knows Ray HERE,wants to get involved and I can't say I blame them.So maybe next Fri. when I get paid,I can do that instead of trying to get my friend or sister to come from Tyler and move me while he's gone.They even want to KNOW 4-sure Ray won't be nowhere in sight.He's so intimidating to everyone,and he does it on purpose so I won't have anybody to be around.But halleluia!! Freedom is almost here,and I can hardly wait for that day.God please let it be soon.
Thanks again my good-Ol faithful blog for letting me vent.Pretty soon,your gona be reading that I just came back from out of town w/ friend/friends or family.....just spent the day w/ my daughters(which is practically a huge fight evertime nowdays)...I won't even go there this early.Gotta keep a big smile on my face all day at work.LOL....Hey,sometimes(btw) your jaws start hurting from smiling so darn much! Ever notice that?ha ha :-}
Cross your fingers that I'm gone on or before this coming Friday.If ONLY Ray's job would call him back in....oh....and if any of my family(dear sister in Germany) are reading this....I'm sorry.But I really have "tried" to make it work.But of course my ppl here in the states see 1st hand,and have been begging me to get out.They say before he murders me,like his brother did his own wife and 9 year old and then himself.Praise the Lord,she lived though it!!
Ohh,anyways....lost track of time.Only have a few minutes to be ready for work.
~Toodles~