13 GOING ON 30! BAD NEWS!

What a mess on top of everything else Fxx'ing up around here.Ray's 13 yr old son is moving to Az w/ his Grandma on Thursday...so naturally Ray and I wanted to spend some good quality time w/ him before departure.But lo and behold,all the people that speak of this child as if he doesn't stand a chance of ever staying out of lock-up(in which he JUST got out of)...Well,I can't help but think he will change his dope smoking theiving ways,it's so sad tho...no family member has been above getting stolen from just about,so they run and hide all the valuables when he comes around.G'ma defends him to the very end,and even w/ his hand caught in the cookie jar,she STILL defends him.."He couldn't have done that"!! she says repeatedly....so he hardly ever (besides lockdown had to pay any cosequences for stolen money,or jewelry etc...In a sense I've felt so sorry for him thinking "Geez this poor child needs help and guidance"(bio-mother split when he was 2 weeks old)moved out-of-state and only seen him just lately 13 years later.She is STILL a crackhead,and on the road back to the joint.

Back to the situation today.....I woke up in tears w/ pain at 5 a.m....took the meds that barely knock off the edge....well...I couldn't find the TV remote...so I start feeling around under him and the first thing I seen was a $10 bill laying outside his pocket(must've fallen out in his sleep) I purposely hid it in the corner of my purse...u really had to do some digging to find it,as it was folded as small as a nickle,and of course took the rest of my cash out of my purse,and put elsewhere.O.k....that was to be expected....but then as I look a little further,I see a PISTOL.Woke Ray up immediatly,and he said that it sure looked like my Uncles whom they had just came from a fishing trip w/.And guess what??? IT WAS!! Not to mention the expensive fliptop-type lighter he also had.To top it ALL off,my neck is broken as we all know(and F'ing PAINFUL,and out of the 60 Vicodan ES's that were filled.......29 were stolen...PLUS about 40 out of 100 Xanax's were stolen.The night before he begged me for some Xanax's...says he could get $2-$3 a piece selling them to his friends.HE DENIES IT ALL!? Now how in the hell can even a 13 year old explain that gun under him?Maybe a conspiricy(sp)...and possibly planted?? HA HA!!!BULLSHIT!

So this manipulative child...knowing I spent time in the penetentiary,tells his Dad he saw me take the pills by the handful!?? HA HA Holy shit....I would be dead if I did that? I HONESTLY REALLY REALLY hoped for all the people that put him down would eat their words one day when he decided to straighten up and fly right! But the odds on that are sooooo SLIM.His father sooo looked forward to spending his last few days in peace and harmony....but nooooo,shit hits the fan in a big way.Then,little mister sticky fingers has the nerve to cry and beg his Dad to move across the world to Arizona w/ them....and do u know what Ray's response was?"I like it in the country,and I like my job"....NOOOOO mention of Tammi! Yesssss his days are numbered...oh but yes!!! Arizona sounds PERFECT for Ray! Plus,there was no discipline for this child...none....Ray only made him,and I STRESS the word "MADE" him go apologize to my Uncle...not me and my lowsy $10,or my meds.And off they go on their happy lil fishing trip.It's a dirty rotten shame that I am not physically NOR financially able to blow Ray's ass clean to the curb.But ohhhh yea...the time is near!! I'm so miserable w/ pain in my neck ,my arm,and worse my heart.Ray says "i love u,I can't live without you".....but by-gosh-damn-his actions say.."Fxxx you,I'll talk to you and do you as I damn well please cuz ur in a bind"!!! I have 2 different guys that say tell him to hit the road.. "can" him....I'll help you.Damn that's so much easier said than done.I'm so friggin independent and so humble to the point that I JUST CAN'T take money from people that just wanna screw me.Guys don't "have" to admit it.....us women can just see the big picture....and I refuse to hoe myself out to please a man that can keep me out of debt.I just simply can't.I'd rather keep taking THIS bullshit,I guess.What choice do I have?

I had sooooo many hi-hopes w/ my new job.It was my way out!!! LUCKILY everyone at work says "GET BETTER AND COME BACK TO WORK!" Damn,I work w/ some awesome chics(and one dude,my boss) lol

Doc says 2-3 months,maybe longer,before I start to heal.....Ohhhhhhh...I hope not!! Oh gosh I hope I get this over w/ sooner than that.I'm still bed-ridden...NOT supposed to be online so long sitting up...but leave it to me to break a rule or 2.I REALLY do gotta stick to Docs orders,to tell u the truth.He says I'm a hair away from full paralazation b/c of where my neck broke.So I'm really trying to behave...so I can heal at a fast pace...but this room feels like a death bed.and keeps closing in on me!!

A nyways...I can't get over the nerve of this child refusing to even own up to anything.Now I do see first-hand,unless he does some serious changes,he has a long row to hoe.

Ya know...when I think back,I know I was a runaway/juvenile-type kiddo....but I really was taught some morals and values,and that's YOU DON"T STEAL FROM FAMILY,or just people in general.My uncle is GOOD people...he'd do anything for anybody.NOT TO SAY THAT I DESERVED IT....but I certainly fell short on being step-mother of the year,ya know.

What a shame.I had such high hopes for this child.Guess I was in denial,thinking he was "just misunderstood". HE needs proffesional help,in my opinion.His lies over this situation really sounded believable,that's the sad part,cuz alot of kiddo's aren't too good at looking you in the eye and lieing!