Texas Tammi

What a thrill!! Finally got the Directv box in the bedroom yesterday....so maybe my days with no friggin job won't be so boring!! Probably doesn't mean jack shit to Ray....as he has a job to rely on keeping his time occupied.Cuz it sure gets boring here......only LOVE could keep me pinned down to this house....that's for sure!

Today my Uncle Pedo walked in on me as I was dressing.Talk about embarrassed...I hope he didn't see anything.Doubt it tho,he was too busy talking.I guess that's why his half-deaf ass didn't hear me say "I'm dressing!!".....Ray always says "KEEP THESE DOORS SHUT WHEN DRESSING OR USING THE BATHROOM"....now I see why.I know my uncle is like a Dad figure....but sometimes he gives me the creeps for some unusual feeling.Not sure why,can't put a finger on it,cuz he really does resemble a good father figure in a sense....but I guess just hearing Ray's stories about him running around on my aunt makes me think he might really be one of those dirty-old-men.I love him just the same though.But I was quite uncomfortable when he intruded....cuz it makes me wonder if he really heard me say that I was dressing....and came in ANYWAYS!......No,Tammi....don't think such a thing.He has been too good to me my whole life.

Added HBO .Movies,movies,movies! Yahooooooooo!!!! HBO's and Showtime!!!

Gona make my favorite stuffed pizza bread....

Gotta finish my fingernails....this weeks color is from the Orley Collection,called Regal Vintage.

Boy a Xanax refill would be nice.....wishful thinking....lol....but it's all good....I gotta stop taking all of that crap anyways~even if I do have an excuse ha ha! I.The shit just screws my memory and gets me traffic violations cuz the feeling is..."WHO GIVES A xxxx" and THAT'S not good for me.I know better.

I wonder why Ray NEVER wants to spend any time with me anymore!? Just like when he left earlier....he could have easily taken me too,not that I wanted to go,but he SURE didn't bother asking.I think he's losing interest in me....and if that's the case...I wish to hell he would come clean and not waste our time anymore.But if he does really love me and want to be w/ me.....I NEED MORE ATTENTION! and he simply ignores me when I bring it up.I'm not getting any friggin younger...so he really needs to start making some better decisions than just saying "yes I love you Tammi"....he BETTER start showing it!!! I think I deserve that much.Instead I sit here in this house......NOT working.....and that's another issue.Since when have I ever let anybody tell me that"I can't work anymore"?? Damn! am I getting D-whooped,or what ?? Instead I hurry home and wait on him to get off work...Still waiting for some changes,glad I'm not holding my breath!..... I love him so much....but he's losing interest in me,and it's painfully obvious.Maybe we're just not as "right" for each other as I thought.Nobody can believe I am letting him BOSS me around like a 10 year old child......bummer.