Texas Tammi

Monday Morning Postings

2011-08-22T12:23:00.000-05:00

Damien's Note: I apologize, everyone for running way behind on this one. There may be another blog posting today as I'm anticipating receiving another letter from her. I just sent one off about four days ago and received this one the day I sent this one off. They'd literally crossed paths. Looking through her letter one more time to ensure I wouldn't miss anything, I did see that she wanted me to send shout outs to Letti, Monogram Queen, Walker and Tweety30. She's been blogging with you four for quite some time now and she wanted to say hello to you all. Okay I'm not about to hold you guys up any longer, just wanted to get the apologies and shout outs here and here comes the show!

8/6/11 - Saturday

I freaking hate Saturdays and Sundays. They drag on until 1:30 am with the TVs full blast (as if you can hear them) because, obviously with 52 women in a dorm (54 in the last dorm) there is hardly ever a quiet time. Whoever invented closed captioning must have been to prison. The lights stay on until 1:30 am on Fridays and Saturdays too and that's a bummer. The one good thing about this unit is that we have air conditioning. I feel sorry for the other TDC units that don't have AC because, holy crap, it's been 100 - 106 degrees out there from what they say on the news. I know people are burning slap up in this Texas Heat!It would still be nice to be out there on the lake floating around on an air mattress getting a tan, though.

8/7/11 - Sunday

Slept half the day. That's the best way to get through a weekend. Never slept in the world. Went to church and got really irritated at the way these broads disrespect the church lady that takes her time to come up here. They always talk over her and kiss and bulldag in church which is totally disrespecting her and God. Shame on these people!

Watched the movie "Monster-in-Law" again. Love that movie. Thank goodness for closed captioning because there is no way you could hear the TV in here even with the volume all the way up. I have a new joke for you. What's the difference between Hard and Light?

You can sleep with a light on. Ha ha!

Postscript: So this thing got published before...on my stinkin blog! I had written an article about the recent release of the West Memphis Three and I think that my internet connection thought I still wanted to be logged in. No wonder I was having such an issue with the Italics key. Don't worry, I caught my mistake and deleted it! This needed to be here. This is it's home.

New Postings 8/14/11

2011-08-14T15:06:00.000-05:00

Damien's Note: Everyone, be ready to feast your eyes. I got two letters from her within two days and there were lots of little posts in there for all of us. Keep in mind that, up until today, I've only read the letters and I plan on writing her back right after I post here. That's right, You've read correctly...this will be a first for me too. No filter, no editing (save for minor spelling corrections) and no B.S., all uncut, all raw. Happy to say that she's still keeping it upbeat and lively in true Tammi style. Read on! Dosvidanija, tovarisch!

7/29/11

Okay enough complaining about being back in Hope - Literacy. It's a "God Pod" and you don't get classes in a regular dorm like you do in here. So I'd rather be here learning something as opposed to being on another floor just doing dead time. Obviously, the chances of getting maced in here are a lot slimmer, so that's a plus! I'm just now starting to breathe right - That mace ain't no punk.

I was just thinking...I used to have the craziest nightmares while I was in the free world. I would actually wake my ex up screaming. I even blogged about it a few times. What's so weird is that it's like some things are coming true. I even had a recurring nightmare that I got locked up in a cell alone which actually happened when I went on medical chain to the Goree Unit in Huntsville. Weird huh?

8/1/11

I just want to publicly acknowledge the person putting my crazy rambling on my blog for me :-).
Thanks so much, Damien, for being such a good friend to me for so long. I have appreciated & cherished your words of wisdom, advice & feedback each time you gave it. And unlike some of my friends that seem like they've forgotten me (just cuz I made a mistake)I want you to know that it means a lot to me that you are still hanging in here with me (Huggs) "Ride or Die."

I went to see the psyche today to do a madatory evaluation and it's confirmed I'm still crazy. Kidding! Ha! But I honestly that I could have played the depression card and got put on a psych med like a lot of people do. But the thing is, since I abused Xanax and Vicodin in the world, I absolutely refuse to become dependent on any prescription medication. I've gone this long without anything and I feel great. Sure, this place is depressing. It's actually meant to be because it's meant to be punishment for people that break the law. I figure if I can handle this stress without crazy meds, then I can do anything. Change is beautiful because if nothing changes, nothing changes."

8/2/11

I'm thinking about cutting my hair off. It's past the middle of my back and it's like a big headache in here. I mean it's not like we have access to Paul Mitchell or Pantene in here. I wish. I'm just not too sure I wanna drop a form to go to the beauty shop because they only use clippers to cut your hair. No shears at all. What??? I've never used a pair of clippers to cut long hair. Never seen it donw so I think I'll pass. I have seen some haircuts done with fingernail clippers. It's a prison thing. Ha ha! I think I'll pass on that too. I think I'll just wait til I get out of here.

8/3/11

My really good friend is going home today. She's been locked up for a year and, even though I'm so happy to see her go home to her kids, I'll admit that I'm a little sad. Only because we've grown so close, I'll feel lost without her. She's about the only person I know with a sense of humor as warped as mine! Ha! We really have been trying to laugh our way through all this craziness but we've had our share of tears. So if you're reading this right now "Mama-K" - you keep being strong out there and doing the next right think and you'll never have to worry about coming back here. I miss ya already, ladybug!

They always say never get too close to anybody in prison because you didn't come with anybody and you won't leave with anybody but it's almost inevitable because you're around people literally 24 hours a day and well I've never been a "loner". I guess I probably should have been a few times in my life but I guess I'm just a people person and I cant do time without someone to B.S. with. That's why segregation almost drove me ding batty. Ha ha! Of course I don't make it a habit of associating with some of these convicts. I mena you can't take a lot of criminals (druggies, prostitutes, thieves, even mentally ill) people off the streets throw them all in a dorm and expect everyone to get along...just sayin'. But sometimes there are people in here that just don't seem to have that criminal mentality that others do. Even first time offenders that were stay-at-home mom, good wives, went to church and basically lived the Leave It To Beaver life that went out and broke the law and wound up here. Sad, but it happens. And then there are people out there breaking the law all the time and just don't get caught. Maybe they are just smarter than the rest of us (doubt it) or maybe they're just lucky.

Eventually that luck will run out though. It usually does. Hate to be the bearer of B-A-D news.

8/4/11

Today is commissary day and, as usual, people are swinging off the rafters, all hyped up an sugar and caffeine - so it's like, so loud in here. It's a total drag going through the whole process - waiting in a two-hour line, etc. But, of course, it's worth it because I buy a lot of stuff like Ramen soups and all kinds of crazy stuff to put in them (pickles, mayo, fritos, squeeze cheese) there are a lot of different ways to make a soup when you can't eat this nasty mess they try to feed you. On top of that TDC stopped feeding three meals a day on weekends. If it's not nasty, you eat at 6am and 6pm on Saturday and Sunday and please believe even though I'm not a big eater, my stomach has an affair with my backbone before lights our at 1am (10pm Monday through Friday). Anyways - So I'm stocked up until next store day (10 to 14 days unless we go on lockdown).

Speaking of lockdown. Seems as though one of the men's floors are all on lockdown. Yikes!. They've got caught with drugs - plus they all got U.A.s (urinalysis) and of course, a bunch of them came up dirty, so they all lose contact visits for, I think, 45 days. Dummies. Yeah I said that. Plus some freeworld charges and TDC cases. Duuuuhhhh! Like they won't know they're wigging out on cocaine & heroin. These police watch every move you make in here. Well, some do anyways.

News Flash - I'm almost positive this new legislature law is gonna get me out sooner than I thought. It's called CSHB-2649 law that goes into effect September 1st. YAAAYYY!!! *High Five*

Damien's Post Script: Tammi will be sending me new stuff every few days and I'll be updating from either here or my tablet every time it comes in. If you're reading this, write back to her and let her know. I've been spamming the hell out of my Twitter because my Facebook spamming just isn't working and I tend to spam it a lot from my phone. Those anti-spam measures on Facebook stink worse than the butthole of a skunk.

On another note, I have to make a retraction. Tammi isn't in jail as I've previously stated. This is a prison run by the state of Texas. You would think that I would know the difference (and I really should have by now) however, I made a huge error in that part. My bad. Anyway, get ready for more updates and I'll be posting them for the little while longer that Tammi's not here with us. Personally, I can't wait til she is.

Tammi's First Post

2011-07-26T10:09:00.000-05:00

Damien's Note: With this one I'm simply going to write it how it was written to me. It seems right to do so. This is the raw, uncut first episode that all of us get to view. Here, there are no cameras. No one is putting on faces trying to make themselves seem tough. This is the kind of material you won't see covered in any documentary but we are documenting it nonetheless. After this I'll be writing my letter to Tammi and including this and the forward posted today. I'll toss some ideas back and forth with her to see what she would like to have posted. There are chances that she may write something in longhand and just send it every few days. So you may see posts more often. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Sincerely,
Damien.

From Tammi:

About Me:

What's up freeworld? Glad you could stop in :-) My name is Tammi and I'm doing a little vacation (prison) time at Dawson State Jail in Dallas, Texas. I've been locked up since March 3, 2011 on a 20 month sentence. My release date was originally October 23, 2012 but with my time reduction I should be released before then. I'm originally from Tyler, Texas but have lived in Houston, El Paso and a few places up north. My best friend who is a sweetheart is posting this as I don't have access to the internet. I'm hoping that, in telling my story, others might read this and hopefully, avoid making the same mistakes. At the same time, maybe I'll meet some cool new friends along the way, so I hope you'll stick around. (smiles)

I don't consider myself a "Bad Girl" - just someone who unfortunately chose to break the law (theft under $10 enhanced to a felony) and yes, I'm old enough to know better. Since I can't go back and change anything, I've decided to try and remain positive and go ahead and do this time and not let the time do Tammi. I'll get out and back on the straight and narrow soon enough. I'll also be back with my two beautiful daughters.

Unfortunately, this is definitely hard time (for all of us) but I do see a valuable lesson to be learned from all of it in the long run. Feel free to use the comment section to ask anything you want or even comment on anything posted here. It will be forwarded to me thanks to my long time friend and confidant.

If you want to write to me directly, the address is as follows:

Tamra Corbett #1700208

Dawson State Jail

P.O. Box 650051

Dallas, TX 75265

Looking forward to you taking this journey with me. Thanks for stopping in. Hope to see you back. Take care and bookmark me! :-) -Tammi

Part 2: The Very First Episode

July 21, 2011

This is my first entry and I'm not sure where to even start. Hmmm.....well life here in a TDC prison unit is basically like a romper room but with fifty-four grown women in a very small dorm. A good example is like right this very minute, it's often lights out and since so many people were loudly talking and jumping from one bunk to the next, we are all jacked up. The lights are back on and we all have to sit in the dayroom until who knows when. Since people won't behave themselves, this happens a lot.

I go to a life skills (changes) class at 5:15am Monday through Friday, so it's gonna be another long night. Oh, thanks to Life Skills, I stand a lot better chance of getting my time reduced YAAAYYY!

Here are a few interesting Factoids I learned in Life Skills today:

Watermelons have an even number of stripes on the rind.

Oranges have an even number of segments.

Each ear of corn has an even number of rows.

Each stalk has an even number of grains and the waves of the sea roll in on shore exactly 26 to the minute in all kinds of weather.

I have lots more interesting facts but I'll save 'em for later. Sounds odd to me being the "Skeptical Sue" I am. I'll probably get out and count the stripes on a watermelon at the grocery story HA HA.

Have a blessed day!

Forward

2011-07-26T09:47:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone,

I hope to find everyone reading this in good spirits because I do have some news for those whom haven't been following Tammi on Facebook. Tammi is not with us at the moment as she's currently in jail with a release date of October 2012.

I'm Damien V. Cross, author of The Night City Chronicles (Tams has me listed as Vampy Red...A Must Read...long story on the username) and I've been friends with Tammi going on about seven years now. During that seven years of chatting over the phone and sharing Tammi's many victories and tribulations, the day I got the news that she had been incarcerated, I was crushed. It's hard to see anyone you know going into a place where they're separated from their friends and family and, for those of us following here, praying for good news or an update, it's especially hard. We are all emotionally invested in one way or another depending on how close you were with her.

Through Tammi's blog, we met her, her family and watched her many misadventures. We laughed with her, cried with her and opened our doors to her when she needed help in any way possible. I have done the same with this.

Through my letter correspondence with her, I've asked if she would like me to keep up this blog (I'm putting mine on hold right now for various reasons but may post some things from time to time) and, I'm happy to inform you all, she accepted. As I now have access to channeling her own words and experiences from her to you in the form of writing (which being the slight spelling/grammar nazi I can be I will also be editing at her request), poetry or whatever else comes to mind.

As of this very moment and two letters where she intimated this particular fact, she knows who her true friends are now and she's more than happy that we've all followed and stayed with her throughout all of the latest that she's been through. In my own opinion, Tammi is one of the best friends that anyone could have. There's never a dull moment with her. She always has a story to tell. She always has a kind word for her friends. Though she may seem like a simple country gal from Texas with the accent of a Southern Belle and simple values, she's actually more complex than what the surface allows us to see. Not many of us have had the privilege of being able to take care of some small affair here or there for Tammi but we keep her and her family in our thoughts and prayers...let's not let it stop there. Let's keep it going. Keep the comments coming and, if you haven't already, Write to her at the following address:

Tamara Corbett #1700208

Dawson Unit

P.O. Box 650051

Dallas, TX 75265

Ladies And Gentlemen, without further delay, I give you a new season in the episodes of Tammi's life. It is a temporary but exciting time filled with cliffhangers and dangers, triumphs and agonies, love and understanding and another uphill walk on the road that is Tammi's Self-Discovery. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the long awaited return of Tammi...

"I've got a black eye of a soul, morals in a hole,

Wish I was so dead, now the TV says it's Topical Depression

Pointless intervention, legal separation, call my dealer or my lawyer

I've got a situation..."

-Marilyn Manson "Arma-------------------geddon"

MAY GO TO JAIL TODAY!! ;-{

2011-02-15T09:41:00.034-06:00

Tues. the 15th(TODAY) I have 2 go see my probation officer.I've been going once a week
for a year..no missed appt.'s...no failed urinalysis's...semi caught up w/
community service(would be caught up,but have had scratched/abrased eyeballs
that took forever 2 heal)....but I STILL can't find an employer that wont run a
background check & not hold it against me.I have no violence,all stuff like
driving w/ license suspended (13 yrs ago) theft by check..my own checking
acct....theft from a hospital(6 bandaides & 7 q-tips) and,well,right now I'm on probation 4 a
Walmart theft under $20.00....4 yrs probation (state jail felony b/c its my 3rd
offense after 16 years)...not minimizing anything..just putting it out there.I
am guilty of sitting in the breezeway talking 2 the Walmart greeter while
waiting on my roomate 2 bring my purse 2 pay for the items in my lap when I got
smart with a lady that I had no idea worked 4 Walmart..basically my mouth got me
taken 2 jail..and it snowballed (3 misdeameanors=felony)no matter HOW old they
are.After a year of perfect probation,I am off of once a week visits & on to a
new probation officer once a month.And he's NO JOKE! He yelled @ me for leaning
on his desk twice.Gosh I'm such an idiot.But one big issue is that I PROMISE,I
KNEW that any felon can't associate with another person on probation...but as
God is my witness I "thought" if u were off of probation or parole(for 13
yrs.,btw)that u could be friends w/ someone as long as they were not breaking
ANY laws & she doesn't.WRONG.I brought her upstairs right 2 my probation
waiting room.He asked me who she was,and I told him she's a good
friend..good girl..not on paper(probation/parole)THATS when he informed me that
even her being off parole for 13 yrs. doesn't matter.I'm not supposed to
associate at all.I feet like an IDIOT!!Sooooo.... If I do go to jail for
association,its MY fault....which bring me 2 my point..I was just
wondering(hoping)....can someone plzzzzz keep me company?Write 2 me?? That would
mean the world. Here is my facebook acct. in case ur wondering who I
am(moreless)MY FACEBOOK
I will definately write you back.But in jail,u dont need an inmate number.Only
when they send me to prison.................................so u would have to write me soon before they send me to TDCJ(where I will be given a # that has to be used)..OMG!! I hope I'm worrying 4 nothing.But I doubt it.Stupidity is NO excuse 2 fail ur probation.THIS is definately God's way of saying"Do what ur supposed to do...and you won't live in this kind of fear"!! I just wish I could kick my OWN self in the a***!!! Only a short time to go & I'll be off probation..but if I DO get arrested I will get anywhere from 1 year to 4 years in Dallas Sate Jail,which is the SAME as prison,but a different setting.Same guards/gray suits..same TDCJ number system..just a place that u go and don't have to wait to be paroled out.This is flat time.You know ur release date the day u are sentenced,which would be after I am in the county jail about 4-6 weeks..this is why I am asking for a pen-pal...someone to hopefully write to for maybe a lil moral support.If u DO write 2 me,I would be so so so grateful...if the Lord sees fit for me to come home today.I will NEVER put myself in this awkward/scarey/.terrified situation again.I know how that must sound..but from the bottom of my heart,I mean every word
The address is:
Tamara Corbett
206 East Elm St.
Tyler,Texas
75702

Prison Nightmares!

2010-12-30T02:23:00.000-06:00

OOkkk,this is getting ridiculous.I can understand if I had a guilty conscience,or doing no-no's...but I have been such a good girl for so long,that maybe I'm getting too ahead of myself,or getting to "proud".But I keep dreaming the wierdest crazy penetentiary nightmares.So I wake up,re-think them & jot down notes in a lil dream/nightmare book I keep by the bed.Last night I dreamed that I was in a desert-type facility w/ family members there on the inside with me.Miles & miles of dirt,and we were told to keep walking,keep walking...crap.I woke sooooo thrirsty.I was even dreaming "damn,I wish these officers would let us stop & drink something".Maybe I'm watching too much news or something.Hell...I dunno.This is like the 3rd really horrible scarey nightmares in just a few days.I wake up freaking out.Go back to sleep,wake BACK up freaking out sometimes 2 or 3 times a night.Fuck it...got a doctors on the 14th...gona address this bullshit.I either sleep TOO hard,or when I can't sleep,I stay up too long & just drop.
Gona ring in the New Years Fri. in a big way...so I bet I sleep good THAT night!LOL

I'm so Discouraged!!!

2010-12-01T15:40:00.002-06:00

I just RECENTLY got my desktop out of the computer shop for a hardware problem,at the same time,they found several viruses & worms (which I was pretty sure of anyways)....NOW,I have another virus that got into my yahoo email acct.,that sent out an email to literally EVERY contact in my yahoo address book.IN that email it tells u to click on a certain link...which I'm pretty sure either gives you a virus as well...or opens up to some sort of spam.The reason I know is #1.) a friend emailed & sent it back to show me.And #2.) There are SEVERAL of those kickback "Mailer-Daemon"thing's which tell you those accounts are closed.I'm scared to even open all those Mailer Daemons to see who is doing this.The bummer is,this viscious virus can't be detected through my virus protecter.Soo...in short..if you get an email from me.Delete it and you won't get it Complete Computing says.(the computer shop I take all my problems to).I quit emailing & use facebook for any contact.I'm under Tamara C.MY FACEBOOK link.That should get u there.Again,don't open an email.But if by chance u do...do not click on that link inside the email.Sorry folks.Since I can't figure out the "fix" on my own...back to the shop this sucker goes.Another $70.Fortunately,this thing hasn't wreaked havoc on anything else but my yahoo acct.So no worry's being here on my blog.lol....See u on your blog.Don't be scared,the virus won't be following me.LOL..I asked the professionals @ the shop.They said it's a common one that I must have gotten from a friend as well...and I know exactly who,cuz that same email kept coming 2 me from Darrel,a friend that I trusted to open his mail.Cuz usually I don't open anything I'm not certain of.Anyways...see u on ur blog asap.

THIS is where I'm usually at,btw.LOL...OH!! And a REALLY REALLY addicting game on yahoo,is called "DRAW MY THING"....its soooo fun!! you have about 4 or 5 ppl that take turns...your given a word like maybe TOASTER or something & you have to draw it,and whoever guesses the word gets the points.Its a total blast.I'm not much of a gamer & dont really have the time...but this game sucks me in BIG TIME! Its so fun!!! I think this is the link DRAW MY THING ...

Here are some popular synonyms of 'penis' used in the US

2010-11-22T05:59:00.001-06:00

Here are some popular synonyms of 'penis' used in the US

(from condom slogans):

1. Cover your stump before you hump

2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker

3. Don't be silly, protect your willy

4. When in doubt, shroud your spout

5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner

6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong

7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it

8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey

9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize

10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter

11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick

12. If you go into heat, package your meat

13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis

14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse

15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member

16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker

17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool

18. The right selection will protect your erection

19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil

20. A crank with armor will never harm her

21. No glove, no love!

Your penis can't think - your brain should do it.

man body genitals penis

FUNNY!! BUT so true ESPECIALLY THE LAST PART !!!(of the 1st paragraph)

2010-11-20T14:47:00.001-06:00

I'm almost 90% sure I've posted this,but wth,its too REAL to not post again...& again...& again (kiddin')
"It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3 kg. The length of the penis is three times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than the man. Women blink twice as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to hold the balance when we stand .The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb"(hahahaha)

Oh,and YES,this is Julia Roberts.If your laughing right now.Your wrong.Its a freeworld tho.Just wanted 2 add that no matter how big or small,or have places ppl call "faults" you are you...Be proud.Looks are not everything.As we all know,you can see the most prettiest/handsome person...but if they think they are above everyone,and have a rotten heart...that pretty turns to dog-ass-ugly to me.Just sayin'.I know some of the most gorgeous plus-size people that say "take it or leave it",and I LOVE THAT!(unless of course ur health is jeapordized by weight,of course).So all my blog-buds are a smash hit in my eyes!!Mine all seem 2 have the best hearts.Your beautiful lovebugs!!

EEEEEeeeWWWWww!!

2010-11-17T21:19:00.000-06:00

I'm watching this show on the "E" channel & this 36 yr old afr./american lady is REALLY REALLY addicted to chalk!! OMG! Like the SAME chalk u use on school chalkboards! She says it tastes like clay dirt,which she constantly craves.
Reminds me of an african/american girl in prison that ate dirt straight off the ground!!! She would put alot in her pocket & eat it back in our dorm.Ohhh crap.That is so nasty.But I guess---->To each his or her own.
I just don't get it.If I even get a granule of dirt off of a homemade pickle,that Granny used to make,I would spit for a lonnng time & toss out the jar!!
UUGH!! I can't see the....wait...the doctor is saying she has something called "Pika"(sp)..which is a lack of iron in her system,which makes u crave clay dirt etc...ok...back 2 watching this wierd show.

I Need to Get Back Here & Check on my Blog Buds!!

2010-11-06T09:26:00.000-05:00

As most of u know...I've been blogging since 2002,and I feel like I've deserted some really long-time friends for Facebook fun.More especially my FB farm.It became as addicting as THIS blog was 9 years ago.Yea,I know..shame on me.Life has been good.No complaints..well,cept' my dental stuff next week,and a daughter issue.I'm a sissy when it comes to that dentist chair.But its a MUST..so ohh well..Here's me winning the gold on my farmers coop..Yess..I'm braggin'!

My daughter & I are obviously on the outs,which is making my very happy life a bit unhappy.She refuses to give in..and so do I.She thinks she's right...and so do I...so now what? All this is doing is hurting my lil A'million...he says"Mee-Mee come get me..I wanna spend the night pweezze"!! and it breaks my heart.So.Guess who's gona cave first??ME.Cuz my daughter wont see things my way,and I dont see things hers..and all its doing is keeping me away from both,not to mention my new G'baby.Holy Cow...I havent told anybody have I??Lemme scroll back & see....OMG!! SURE HAVEN'T!! Lil Mil-Mil(A'million) has a new baby brother!!!Yayyy!!Whoot-whoot!!(as Letti would say) So AGAIN,I'm a G'ma of 3.LOVE IT!!Of course,I'm starting 2 feel a bit old.But of course it doesn't stop the ding-dong youngsters at work from trying 2 get my digits.I just laugh & say move around lil boy!! I'm old enuff 2 be yo momma!Sheesh! I'm a couger now.SEE HERE I AM!hahaha Seriously kidding.Boy was I shocked 2 see Julia Roberts with that extra meat on her bones.But(secretly)glad that the public can see that age CAN warp the bod a bit.No matter how rich you are.Shit happens.My job has tightened up even my a*** alot,so screw the gym.My job is MY gym..lol..ok...nuff about me..I really need 2 go see what my bff bloggers are up to.Starting this day with peace in my heart & much love for all of our ppl over seas in the Middle East.

NEW JOB!! STARTED TODAY!

2010-08-12T00:23:00.000-05:00

The craziest thing happened after work(my first day,btw) and I think I'm gona LOVE this job.I've been trying to get in for a while now!!! So I'm happy as a puppy w/ 2 tails!!LOL...Anywayz,I came home & basically just dropped!LOL...I slept like 2 hours,and woke up & looked at the clock.It was almost 7.I JUMPED STRAIGHT up! Ran around like a chicken w/ my head cut off trying to make my 2 appointments before work!! Then I happened to look outside & it looked really odd...like dusk.And it hit me like a ton of bricks! "I'm getting dressed 90 m.p.h. for nothing! It's STILL evening!Not the a.m."!!hahaha OMG!! I'm losing it.
Just wanna add------>THANK YOU LORD FOR MY JOB I HAVE BEEN HOPING FOR FOR SO LONG(that I had just given up on getting it)...but You came through,and I'm just beside myself!
Mwah!!!

Too Much Sun!

2010-08-05T09:00:00.001-05:00

I need 2 stop staying in the pool so long or I'm gona look 100 years old.Note 2 self:find a better night time/after sun cream...my skin is getting too much sun I think...UUuGH!
Love you Daddy n Mom!! I know ur reading me!lol hugggggs

MUST REMIND MYSELF....I HAVE 2 KEEP THIS IN MY HEAD 2 AVOID A TRAINWRECK AGAIN!!

2010-07-13T05:15:00.000-05:00

After reading PRISON PETE'S day-by-day experience in the Federal Pen(which is alot different than state,btw)..Some call it "Club Fed" for a reason.I've never been to a Fed prison,but I wrote letTers to a guy in one for years,and he told me alot of the reason why Federal was better than State...but either way,ur seperated from your loved ones'..so neither is a good place to be.
I seriously doubt that my blog is interesting to
anybody but me.....but reading some of Prison Pete's
story has really encouraged me to get my thoughts from
my prison life online instead of on-paper.Mainly b/c I
just happened to run across my handwritten experience
the other day and thought to myself..."gee...this is
something that doesn't need to get lost again".Then again,maybe my story can help someone...somehow.
My heart went into my day-to-day prison experience that I
put on those simple sheets of paper,and I really would
hate to lose them.Maybe someone can relate to my
experience....maybe there will be different views on
what it was like....but as for me.....this was my own
personal hell:

After being in 2 county jail's for a total of 8
months....6 months of that time in county I spent w/
Elaine Hayes,one of the co-conspiriters(sp) of a horrible
murder in Tyler Texas.She was a trip btw.Another
story,ending in her BF getting the death penalty and she got life.
When I seen her at Woodman later on,her prison time sheet said clearly,that she
would possibly be eligable for parole in 2040.The parents of Donald Whittington the 3rd
wanted the death penalty for her as well..but she got life.She won't even be a face in the
crowd until 2040.

The jailer came in at 2 a.m. in the morning and said
"Pack it up Corbett,your on the TDC
chain"....omigosh,it was such a relief!! I was just so
happy to get the heck out of that cramped up jail
cell! Handcuffed and shackled,the ride there seemed
like a million miles.The anticipation and the fear of
the unknown was just overwhelming!Not really knowing
exactly what to expect,just mostly thinking about the
many things that I had seen on t.v. or heard from a
couple of people in jail.Before going to jail I don't
recall ever meeting anybody that had ever been to
prison,odd as it seemed.In my mind,watching us pass
cars,I remember thinking"how did I let it ever get
this far?" Yep..I was on my way to the "big house".

We pull into the parking lot of the Woodman Unit in
Gatesville Texas~through a fenced in area.The guards
in gray suits lock it,and then we pull into another
fenced in area and they lock it too.The transportation
weapon that Sgt.Paula was carrying was put into a
lock-box and a mirror was rolled under the bottom of
the van to check for weapons or people that might want
to pull an ambush or something of that nature.I'm lead
into the reception area of TDC along w/ the bag of
things I brought w/ me from the county.They searched
my things piece-by-piece for contraband,letting me keep paper,
stamped envelopes and photo's and white
t-shirts N panties.Things that I was told I could
have.They took away my contacts and hiking boots.I was
told the boots were not allowed because of the metal
hooks on them could be used to make weapons(which,to
me,later on I found out was so stupid,simply b/c they
issue you steel toed boots AND razors to shave
with.Where is the logic in that?

Next an officer says mechanically to "step this way
Corbett....strip down to nothing".She then looks into
your ears,into your mouth,tells you to raise your breasts,then shake your hair
turn around,bend over,spread
your butt cheeks,bend,squat and cough.The whole
process is so embarrasing,the guards never speak,they just YELL OUT every move u are to make
,never cracking a smile.I'm thinking"how rude"!OMG,I have this terrible nervous
condition sometimes,where I somehow manage to laugh
when I'm nervous,even at the wrong times....and holy cow,THAT is one time that
NOTHING should be funny according to that big fat
broad that yelled right in my face when I sniggered & had the nerve to ask "Are u serious"?.I
just thought the raise boobs-bend over-spread ur butt cheeks-squat-cough-shake hair routine wasonly in
the movies.Nope.That officer let me know REAL quick
that there "ain't a fucking thing funny about the
state penetentiary".She had a good point!
Your given an (ugly) white cotton granny gown,and
sent to a small observation cage w/ nothing but a
toilet and about 15 other women crammed in this
tank.One at a time we are taken out and examined by a
doctor from our private parts to our toe-nails
checking everywhere for hidden contraband and
lice.Then we were given de-lice
shampoo....shampooed,and sprayed for lice even if you
don't have it.Given a bag w/ a roll of toilet tissue,a
towel,kotex,and taken to the area called the "Dog
Pound"(and that's exactly what it looks like
too)Approximately 30 cages w/ 8 women to a
cage,upstairs and downstairs.Every inch of every cage
can be seen by officers in the control picket,and it's
degrading as hell.Male officers as well as female can
see ever single square inch of the cages.To me,THAT
was my worste 2 weeks of my stay at TDCJ.One 2 minute
shower a day,up at 3:30 a.m. to be fully
dressed,steel-toed boots and all.3 trips to the chow
hall w/ 10 minutes or less to eat and get out.The rest
of the time you stay in that cage unless
medical,dental or inmate records(for visitation slips
to be made) calls you out.Given inventory slips for
electrical stuff and contacts which the nurse gave
back to me.I stayed in the dog pound for 2 weeks until
I was moved into a dorm w/ 49 other really loud
women.My 1st job was assigned to commissary 8-5.That's
considered a trusted job,so I was told that I may be
stuck on that shitty unit b/c of my job.I stopped being
good at my job b/c I would have died of heat
exhaustion in those dorms!In 2 months I pulled chain
to Reception(cellblock),where the REAL lockdown
began.The day I arrived there,it was basically the
same procedure as Woodman.Strip-bend-spread cheeks-squat-cough-shake hair etc..,Propertyinventoried,classification,etc..An ALL DAY
process(again).This unit is where people stay that can't be
housed w/ other inmates(protective custody)such as Selena's killer.I stayed on that cold cellblock,cold showers,for 3 weeks waiting to get assigned to a
prison unit.I spent Thanksgiving,Christmas and New Years
there.2nd trip to the chow-hall,the table next to me
swore up and down that my name was Darlie Routier(the
crazy one that stabbed to death her 2 sons).That
wierded me out! I didn't have my i.d.on me to prove
otherwise! Had to watch my back going back to my
cell.Classification: I Was first classified to a
trustee unit.Everyone on the block said"no
way,Corbett,your not even a stat-3(trustee).So I spent even longer there getting RE-classified,as they made a
huge mistake.Then was classified to the largest unit,Lane Murray.Maximum security.I was shocked b/c I
had prayed to NOT get sent where my mother had done
her time(Murray) and lo and behold,that's exactly
where they sent me.Right in the same dorm as Diane Zamora,the notorious Texas Cadet
boyfriend/girlfriend murder of the pretty blonde cheerleader.I remember thinking,
WHY WHY WHY am I housed w/ these horrible murderers they make movies about!!
Had one wierd & seriously uncommon God thing happen.I was soooo
shocked when I seen my REAL
mother at reception!! B/C alot of inmates call older women their(play)Mom or Dad,so
the Leu.thought I was just wanting 2 talk to a make-shift Mom...She had looooong silver hair! I
NEVER knew my mothers hair was ANYTHING but
brownish/black! We cried.We were fortunate to get a 10 minute approval to talk to each other after the
Leiutenent was certain that we REALLY were biological
mother/child.Talk about a God-thing! Out of thousands
of women,and several prison units we ran across each
other.I was coming into prison,she was there at
reception for medical/dental reasons, Then my time came to go to Lane Murray.When we
pulled in it was a cloudy dreary day,which totally set
the dreary mood I was in.Same body search process.Sent
across to a small room w/ others to await inventory of
your propert(again).Checking your slips for your
electrical stuff(blowdryers radios etc).I was assigned
a dorm/cubicle and given a job in maintenance.Seems
like everywhere you go...when you 1st get there...the dorm gets totally quiet and you can feelthe eyes on
you,sizing you up,following your evry move.You just
have to follow the numbers on the cubicles to find
yours,because you sure don't get a welcoming committee
in prison.In fact nobody even likes answering newbie
questions.So to avoid smart-ass comments-you just
don't ask! It's wierd how these people give you these
cold-hard stares and roll their eyes at you-as if to say"Don't even think about fucking with me"!You try not to look intimidated and give back that same
hard-ass glare-but inside I was scared to death and hope it doesn't show outwardly! lol .I put my things down in my cubicle and took a look around and at 1st I
could have sworn I was on a co-ed unit,because there
were quite a few women that would pass for men
easily!They come to prison and take on the roll as a
husband,brother,or father figure that some people miss
dearly.It's game.They return to their proper rolls for
visitation and when they leave to go home.These are
known as stud-broads,butches,bull-daggers,or little
boys.Lovers refer to each other as "my wife".The girly
females are considered "femmes".I'd say at least 85%
of the population participates in homosexual
activity-mostly for commissary or just to continue the
relationship games that they are so accustomed to in
the free-world.Self-esteem is so low they feel they need to get their feeling of self-worth and acceptance
from another individual(even if it has to be a
woman),as long as the need for attention is getting
met.If someone is co-dependent in the free-world,and
never really been alone out there without male
companionship-then they just go ahead and "settle" for
a woman to get all those co-dependent needs met. Marriage cerimonies are taken very seriously in prison.It usually takes place in the restroom area
with someone jiggin' for them(jiggin'=watching for
officers) Sometimes the marriage is complete w/
attendants,flowers,rings,etc...it all seems so crazy for an outsider looking in-but in prison it's taken very serious,and just seems to be the norm. Lines,lines,lines.Everwhere you go-especially
chow-hall and pill-line,there is a long line.If you
get caught talking in that line,you get a case.Talking
anywhere outside the dorm,is a case.An officer will
write you up in a heart beat.It's considered a miner
case,but too many minor cases can lead to getting them
enhanced to a major case.The cosequences of cases
range anywhere from loss of
priveleges(recreation,commissary,visits,library,church ,etc)There are literally hundreds of things that can
get you wrote up.Contraband,failure to do an assigned duty,cursing,fighting...and many many more things can
get you wrote up.Major cases such as sex cases and
fighting can also take your good time away.Chowhall is
sometimes like a social event for lovers to meet and
try to sneak up in the line to be able to sit with
their partner.The chowhall seated 200 people and when
your finished eating you have to raise your hand and
wait on an officer to see you and give you the nod or
say"GO". Lovers quarrels often go on in the chowhall,and it
got ugly.Almost daily you see a fight
somewhere...whether it's the dorm,chowhall,rec,or main
street,so it's not uncommon to hear the officer
yell"Face the wall"!You don't move and you don't turn
around and look or you can get a case. It's never good to make close friends,because you get moved alot.Dorm to dorm...or unit to unit.You may
get sent to other units for a vocation,college,or a
pre-release unit.But in alot of ways,prison friends
often become the support necessary for surviving a
hostile abusive environment that can exacerbate the
low self esteem,lack of initiative and poor decision
making skills that got women into prison in the 1st
place.Often times "so-called" friends can set you up
w/ a shank or other weapons to keep the "friend" from
being released.Nowdays,though,if you maintain good
behavior throughout your stay -then the officials
realize that it's a set-up. Prison is also a place to meet new dope
connections,cooks,and often learn new and improved
ways to committ crimes and get by with it.Or at least
you "think" you are getting by with it...but sooner or
later it catches up w/ you.It's inevitable.It's pretty
cut-n-dry.You break the law,you gamble with your
freedom~and the outcome is never good.
Some officers are decent and treat you w/
respect,but those are usually the new ones.After a
period of time,they develope crappy attitudes like
other officers that have been there a while-also due
to the inmates disrespecting them,and the manipulation
that the hard-core women dish out,which in turn,gets
the officer in trouble by their superiors for the
(new)officer letting the inmate manipulate them.But on
the other hand-the really hard-nose(by the book)
officers get no respect and catch hell from the
inmates.They get psyche meds slipped into their
drinks,get feces and urine thrown on them,and when
he/she trys to say anything to the dorm,people just
yell obsenities back at them(like fat-ass,dumb bitch etc..) The so-called "good" officers know their
boundries,and for the most part are treated decent(not
always).But those always catch hell from their
superiors(rank) for not being more aggressive, but
she'll just blow it off(keeping the popularity among
prisoners if there is such a thing).Guess it's one of
those catch 22's.
Alot of men are literrally escorted off the unit,or
arrested for sexual acts w/ the females(female guards
AND male)The inmate just gets a case and put on
lockdown,and gets a unit transfer.The officer is
history.I seen alot of stuff in that place-and to
think: I thought I saw it ALL in the street!I
witnessed things in there that I hope I never see
again-and some things that are too disgusting to even talk about.Alot of injustice by the system-not just w/inmates!
People say that they don't want to talk about their
crime-that's usually the sex-offenders or
murderers,it's just obvious.But there are no secrets
in TDC.There's always someone from your county that is familiar w/ your case.Or usually once you tell one person,it gets all over thanks to gossipp.
Diseases are rampid in TDC.I was shocked when I
first found out that we were all housed
together.HIV/Aides,Syphillus,Hepatitus,herpes...makes
no difference,you all use the same showers,bathroomsetc..But what was more shocking is to see the number
of people that had aides and were prostitutes on the
streets,not even knowing they had a disease till they
came to prison,spreading it like wildfire. I think,to me,the hardest part of my stayin TDCwas
the seperation from my girls.Even though when I was in
the free-I still wasn't really "there" for them like I
should have been But then you are left alone in prison
with your thoughts(and regrets) of guilt,shame and
remorse and your conscience eventually starts wearing at you for being such a crappy parent.That,to me,is
the true meaning of hard=time!!Having to sit back and
reflect on your life thinking how things could be,or
should have been,but instead you feel like a total
failure as a mother. But then....after the stage of wallowing in
self-pity-I decided that it wasn't going to change ANYTHING to sit and feel sorry for myself.I had to say to myself "O.K.!Those things happened and I can't
turn back time and change it.So now what?What steps
can I take to prevent those things from happening
again?How can I stay out of prison,be a better Mom,and
a productive member of society?"Not only that....but
most of us as drug addicts in the free,built walls
around us and were prisoners of our addictions!
Addiction to
drugs,alcahol,shopping,men,over-eating,under-eating
and many other obssessive compulsive behaviors that
helped us into the gates of the REAL penetentiary.To
many of us...prison was God's way of saving our lives
and those around us.

It's the children that suffer from our crimes.When
we first go down,they hang on to our necks when the
visit is over-begging for you to come home with
them,but then after a while,after they have seen you
come in and out and stay gone for so long-then the
child becomes cold and bitter.They develope a built-in mechanism to shut off their pain...their feelings and
emotions.

There are alot of bad things to speak on about
prison,but the best part of it all,is it's a time for
you to slow dow, sit back and evaluate your life,and
decide what is more important to you,and get your
priorities in order.The daily process there and
negativity eats away at your spirit,but you just have
to find a way to rise above it,and look at all the
positive it brings,and be bound and determined to
leave there a much better person than the one that
came.I had to start right there in prison,learning to
obey even the simplest of rules in order to make parole.
It's not much different out here.To keep your
freedom,obeying the rules and laws of the land will
keep you out of lockup.Just the criminal "sneaky"
behavior can easily take over and lead to crimes that
can get you locked up again. Making parole: To make parole you must meet several
requirements.Your out-date is on your time sheet,but it all depends on what legislature law you fall under when you committed the crime,your criminal
history,your behavior while in prison and many other
things determine when you will make parole or be
released.I recieved 3 (5) year sentences,and a (4)
year sentence(non-aggrivated) that the Judge chose to
run concurrent.If it would have been stacked I would
probably still be there.Really,that's NO time compared
to the people that got life sentences,meaning they
won't even be considered for parole for at least 40
flat calender years!But to me,being locked up a total
of 4 and a half years was an eternity.Few people can
ever imagine just how long even one year in prison
is.In there....time stops.Some days,you don't even
feel like a living being,just exisiting from one day
to the next,coasting through like your in some kind of
bad nightmare and can't wake up out of it.People fail
to realize that being locked up is punishment
enough-your punished in many more ways in prison.But
there are times when you get pushed too damn far and
you just can't keep your mouth shut.You have to stand
your ground or you'll get bullied.You can't stand
there and lose your pride when someone gets in your
face,you have to go right back at them,but look like a
raving lunatic,and 9 times out of 10 they back down
first to keep from getting a case.You live among
people that look as innocent and act as innocent as
the driven snow,but you can't let looks fool you.They
are also faces of baby killers or people that are
locked up b/c of child pornography and abuse!Even gray
haired little ladies shocked me to hear the things
that they done(even in their older years).You live in
dorms full of sociopaths,psychopaths,psychotic,and
people w/ severe personality disorders.Some were born
that way,some just were burnt out from to many harsh
chemicals in the drugs.I found out real quick,it
wasn't just stuff on t.v.~the worste of the worste
criminals are plucked off the street(society's
rejects),so many ppl with arms scarred so badly it reminded me of a child taking a sharpie
marker & drawing lines all over ALOT of ppl's arms where heroine left its
marks that cant be hidden,cept' with long sleeves(and u still see it on the hands).Your put in small confined areas and are told to "get along" with each other"What a joke!

Studies have shown that you can take the wildest
beast in the jungle-put him in a cage,and then take
him back out and into the jungle...and he can't
survive.You've destroyed his automatic defense.Alot of
ex-prisoners never even make it back to prison,but
committ suicide or over-dose,never learning to love
themselves enough to stop destroying themselves.She
has become victimized in the past and just passes it
on as the one being the victimizer,some form of
payback for what was done to them.A viscious cycle.
Those who have broken the law and take
ownership/responsibility for their actions,who feel
connected to family,and to other people,wll have
motivation NOT to break the law again.Whereas,those
who always feel that they are the "victim"of
circumstance,won't stand a chance.
As for me...I had no choice but to own up to my
screw-ups.Poor decision making,that's for sure.The
funny thing is....I was told before I was released,by
a counselor,that the hardest thing to face when you
get out is the decisions..For years you haven't been
able to decide anything for yourself,then all of a
sudden your forced to make all the decisions.At first
it really was overwhelming .Life without
bells,buzzers,locked doors,watching your back,it was
all frightening at first.The right to choose what you
want to eat,what you want to wear,where you want to
go.It all seems so trivial now,but it really was
overwhelming when I was first released.It was
exhausting,and I know it required alot of patience
from people around me.
I was told I would be treated like a leper out
here,by inmates that got out and went back in.I see
what they mean now.Re-intergrating back into
society,and being self-supporting and self-sufficient
isn't as easy as some would like to think,but it can
be done.Tell someone that you were just released from
prison and watch their response.It's almost as if they
can't wait to hurry-up and get their purse locked in

the trunk.lolBut that's the price that you have to

pay,for doing what you KNOW in your heart was wrong in

the first place.Support groups saved my life when I

got out.I finally found a common bond with people just

like me trying to get exactly where I wanted to be in

life.Just free.Free form any kind of

imprisonment,whether it be TDC or the prisoner of your

own addiction.

It was in prison where I finally found that my life

had a purpose...really it always has-but I was too

caught up in the fast life to slow down and see what

my purpose was.

I have reachable goals now and I want more for

myself and my children than what prison life has to

offer.

I feel so much gratitude to my family that stuck w/

me throughout the whole ordeal-it's immeasurable.Those

who ran out on me...well....I don't feel anything

toward them.No anger-no hurt.I ran out on them FIRST.

No...it wasn't the end of the world,like I

originally thought going into TDC.....it was the

beginning of a brand new one~but seeing it through

clear eyes makes a world of difference.

Change is beautiful.

I used to be Tamara Corbett #844943(pic on the right)

Now I'm just Tamara Corbett

no spell check...I'm exhausted from all the typing....Uuugh! lol

IF U HAVE A WEAK STOMACH...DON'T READ ANY FURTHER PLZZ

2010-07-03T18:30:00.000-05:00

I'M SOOOO CONFUSED!!!Something is terribly wrong w/ my lil kitten.She’s off the Moms milk,but everything I feed her gives her the runs.Am I doing something wrong? I feed her Purina for kittens(dry)..tried kitten food in the can(no luck)..what can I do?

The smell is awful,and yellow & runny…also she doesn’t know how to cover it…the 2 kittens/cats I had before automatically covered their poop,I guess instinctively,and made hardened poop(for lack of better wording—-sorry)…I’m so scared she may have an intestinal problem…POOR ISABELLA!!

Bummed!

2010-06-13T16:11:00.001-05:00

I want to go to see my Dad n Mom.I knew before I started this job I should have went to Houston to see him & Mom.My step-mom is the coolest.In fact the word step-mom sounds so fairytale & neagative.But she's nowhere near like the fairytale w/ the wicked stepmom...she's the exact opposite!She's been in our lives...married to Daddy since I was 3 years old,and is the most adoreable person I know & love dearly...and I haven't got to see her or my Daddy in so long its driving me nuts.When I get a a day off now...its exactly that.A DAY off.Not a weekend...or 2 days....but one day a week(if that),and I miss them so much.Not to mention daddy has a heart condition.He SAYS he's fine,but I know anything could happen....and I hate to think negative,but ...well...I'm just feeling down & out today.I miss them.I miss still being able to plop down in my Daddy's lap,even as old as I am...and my Mom who looks like she's 20 years younger than she is,and I can't remember her ever raising her voice in anger.She always cooks something she KNOWS I love.I soooo miss the days when I could just jump in the car & drive to Houston & spend the weekend,swim and lay in the pool in the daytime and just hang w/ my parents all weekend and just drive home & go back to work.
   I'm just so bummed out today thinking about how I SHOULD have got my ass down there before I started back working so many hours.
   I guess what really got me so out of pocket maybe is...yesterday my daughter came by and the first thing she said when she walked in the door is "Mom how do u keep the house so clean?It smells exactly like Gran & Paw-Paws house"?
To me....that was a total compliment.Everytime I go to see my parents,I love it the minute I walk in the door.It smells and feels so awesome to just be there.Their house(to me) always smells like a mixture of vanilla,or potpouri and....I don't know...can't explain it...like a new smell.That familiar smell hits me sometimes when I go in certain stores in the mall,and I catch myself felling so homesick...I guess that sounds wierd...but my sense of smell seems to alter my mood sometimes.
So when my daughter said that I took it as a major compliment...and I've been missing them worse than ever since she said that.Tried to call,but when I left a message yesterday& they haven't returned my call.Thats usually cuz their out of town.Dads cell went to voice mail,so their prolly up the country(our way of saying around the outskirts of Austin)...no cell signal range maybe,cuz when I call & leave a message,they always call me right back.
Anyways...I think I'll try to call them again.Just miss them and wish I could just jump in the car & go see them right now.Tired of just talking to them via Ma-Bell.I wanna see em'.
   Bummed.

I'm Thrilled!!!

2010-06-08T06:31:00.000-05:00

I can't believe the luck.As I mentioned before I had a "status" hearing w/ my Judge.I was shaking like a leaf standing in front of her wondering if the cuffs were about to be put on me,because I was behind on community service,and SOMEHOW(and I SWEAR I dont know how this happened)...but it showed that I missed my P.O. appt twice in January...and then of course when I was out of it in the hospital & couldnt call him(which was excused)......but my fears were SO wrong.The Judge dropped my 400 hours of community service as long as I kept my 40 hour a week job,and not miss any appt's.No problem.Its in the bag!!!
So I'm actually doing everything I can to get OVERTIME!!lol
Ahhhhh!! Life is good! P.T.L. for small miracles!!

PIX of FAMILY,FRIENDS & MYSELF

2010-05-28T18:36:00.000-05:00

PIX of FAMILY,FRIENDS & MYSELF: "MY FAVORITE PIX OF ALL OF US!! ;-}"
LOOOVE EM' ALL!

No I'm not locked up.

2010-05-20T08:38:00.000-05:00

I haven't had time to even keep up laundry,wash my car...even the simple things don't seem to get done since I was only given 2 months to get 80 plus hours done(community service hours).Since disabilty got denied at the end of February,I had March & April to get 80 plus hours knocked out,AND work too.I'm almost caught up though,and since I have a status hearing soon w/ my Judge...I HAVE to be completely caught up.Since I was in and out of the hospital and under a doctors care,I was given a small break to get all this completed....so if I haven't been able to pop in on your blog to say hi....its not because I have forgotten my blog-buddies.I am just overwhelmed with getting caught up.I've been blogging with some of you since 2002,and it's such a drag not to find the time to post or read up on my friends comings & goings....but your in my thoughts.Have a great day.....and if your a Facebook-er....I'm Tamara C. there.I sneak a post or two on FB while on break at work when I can.Add me to your facebook and I can hang w/ ya. ;-} See my garden I've...WE'VE been keeping up? Soon we'll have potatoes,squash,tomatoes,peppers,okra...this is only the side of the house.Lots more is planted behind that garage bay you see in the back.First time I've had my own garden,and the weed pulling & watering is paying off!Yayy!! It's coming up fast.I'll take closer shots so you can see my tiny green tomatoes poppin' out!

Workin' hard to get my veggies to sprout and flourish.It's exciting seeing them come up. ;-}

Just got this blouse & wanted to show it off.Would you believe I found it at the Salvation Army where I do (volunteer/comm.Serv)I have that librarian bun on my head.Does it make me LOOK smarter?ha

DID YOU KNOW THIS??

2010-04-23T02:55:00.000-05:00

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3 kg. The length of the penis is three times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than the man. Women blink twice as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to hold the balance when we stand .The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb.
THIS IS JUST TOO WILD! TRUE...BUT SO TRUE!!...lolol

FACEBOOK ROCKS!

2010-04-21T09:02:00.000-05:00

I'm totally sorry that I have not been on here to check up on my buddies who take the time sometimes daily to post whats going on in your lives.I really am sorry for neglecting you(you know who all u are)....but I have moved to Facebook cuz I would rather do the "one-liners" (moreless)...and moving on.I can keep up w/ family, friends,etc.....but somedays I have to take literally hours,I mean 4 & 5 hours sometimes trying to keep up w/ all my faves.I feel bad for not keeping updated on u all.....but I have soooo much going on,I pop in at Facebook,throw in my 2 cents( for what its worth) and someti9mes get my 2 cents thrown back at me.LOL
I TOTALLY miss my 9 year blogging routine and all.....be right back......lol

My Yummy Pot Roast

2010-04-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

I get lots of raves on my pot roast skills,so I thought I'd do like  Letti .She posts her cool dishes sometimes and it inspired me to show mine.Cept' her meals are like 5 star 4 course plates that look like you get in a nice restaurant...but this roast turned out extra good,so I thought why not?
   Tammi CAN cook,in case anybody doubted that little fact-oid.LOL or TFF.
   I haven't made the rolls yet(sorry,but those came in a bag from the grocery)...WHAT?? Did you REALLY think I would make them homemade? Now that's a BIG HA-HA!

Enough to feed an army,huh?

Wow,I Didn't Know This!

2010-04-03T05:04:00.000-05:00

This first group of abbreviations focus on general abbreviations that tend to either deal with drugs, swearing or other behaviors that we, as parents, probably want to know about (sex-related abbreviations will have its own posting).

420 - lets get high or "Marijuana"
4Q - F*** you
555 - sobbing, crying
A3 - anytime, anywhere, anyplace+
AYOR - at your own risk
AYSOS - are you stupid or something?
B8 - bait, an under-aged person
BF - boyfriend, best friend
BBC - big bad challenge
CLAB - crying like a baby
E - ecstasy
GTFO - get the f*** out
IOMH - in over my head
LGH - lets get high
NALOPKT - not a lot of people know that
OSIF - Oh Sh** I Forgot
PRT - party
QQ (qq) - crying eyes
SUITM - see you in the morning
TS - Tough Sh**
UDI - unidentified drinking injury, scratch, bruise, pains
WIIFM - what's in it for me?
ZERG - to gang up on someone

So here is my cooky way of trying to talk w/ these crazy abbreviations.
"2 day I tried 2 run a marathon,and thought WIIFM?B sides,last nite NALOPKT my BF said LGH & PRT,and I replied "AYSOS,I have a BBC in the a.m."?She said "TS 420 its pure E." I decided I'd be IOMH,so I said "4Q BF,SUITM, have fun AYOR!"......TLC

Who would have thought....??

2010-03-31T04:42:00.000-05:00

1.Ricky Martin says on his blog he is a "fortunate homosexual"....
Well,I say good for him for coming out of the closet....cuz my psychic powers told me he already was gay!But they DO say that it's "new" news to us....hmmm?
2.This is the coolest thing I've seen yet!! A roll-a-way computer!Check THIS out!!How wild!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H0K1k54t6A&feature=player_detailpage

SOME PICTURE FAVES & COOL POEM!

2010-03-26T06:14:00.001-05:00

REST IN PEACE BELLA...WE MISS U BABY GIRL!!

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE PICTURES.PIX OF MY KIDDO'S AND GRANDBABIES N ME.....OH AND I'M GONA BE A G-MA "AGAIN"!!!! A'MILLION IS GONA HAVE A SISTER OR BROTHER!
I'M STARTING TO FEEL OLD!!lol

A Poem About Our Girlfriends

Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger.
Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things
around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell
in her heart.
The most highly favored woman on your
job maybe unable to have children.
The richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes ~ might be lonely.
And the Word says, 'If I have not Love, I am nothing.' So, again, love you.
Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,
'I am too Blessed to be Stressed and
too Anointed, to be Disappointed!'
'Winners make things happen~
Losers let things happen.'
Be 'Blessed' Ladies and pass this on
to encourage another woman.
'To the world you might be one person,
to me you are special!

Some Days are Diamonds/Some Days are Zirconias

2010-03-24T09:28:00.002-05:00

WANNA SEE THE FACE OF A NUTTY PERSON??

    OK----So lets get to the brass tacks(whatever that means)....Guess I'll let it all hang out....(NO WALKER NOT IN THE CHEST AREA U BOOBY MAN!)....You too Bill!
As most of u know I applied for Disability.Little did I know sincve the recession,people have been making SSI/Disabilty work overtime.
So that SOME of us really need help from the Govt.Tit(as ppl say)...I fit ALL the criteria(so many lawyers say.It's a slam-dunk case.
I was diagnosed several years ago with Bipolar Type2.....O.C.D.(obsessive compulsive disorder)....borderline schittzophrenia.....and other personality disorders that make life one big horrible roller coaster.People say I don't(usually)show any outward signs,and I'm a non-violent person,that CAN flip the script,but haven't physically since..umm....long story.
     No sympathy needed.....just an FYI.....I've been through multitudes of tests.From testing my blood(salt)counts...to brain activity stuff.Not sure where or how I got these monkeys on my back,but with meds,I can hold them at bay(MOST of the time)
But PLEASE lets not confuse my prior post as one of my mental illnesses.I was told by people that know me personally that say "It's about damn time you decided to TELL IT LIKE IT IS"!!....so no regrets.
    I have my ups & downs but mostly nobody EVER knows,cuz I smile and laugh and keep cracking my warped jokes,which is my mechanism of hiding whats REALLY going on inside at times.Some say,its a mask to hide whats REALLY under my skin.So I don't feel that it interferes w/ my daily living like I've seen it happen to alot of people ,so I have to be truly grateful for my way of grinnin' & bearin' it.

    BTW,unlike some ppl think,these many tests are NOT just by mouth or on paper.The docs have blood drawn to see how my chemicals are in my dome (in laymens terms,so its easy to understand.....just a quick explanation)----->.The blood they take,determines how much natural salt is producing to keep you chemically balanced,and if you aren't producing enough,I'll just explain what I've been told by a doctor---> "your mind is like a car that has spark plugs that fire great,and cause ur car to run great....but if your missing certain salts and other chemicals that ur brain needs,then your spark plugs mis-fire terribly"
So with that being said...I've wanted second,third forth and more(so-called) mechanic shops to get a better result...and its all the same.UUuGH!
Am I crazy?Depends on what ur definition of "crazy"means.I'm harmless,mostly to others.Really.I self sabatage,and self inflict things to try and get this freakin monkey off my back.But it's there and all I can do isd treat the sucker.I REFUSED to believe the first few psychs,because it seemed like u can tell them ANYTHING and roll with it.But,blood tests and other exams contadict me telling professionals"THERE'S NOT SHIT WRONG WITH ME!!!"But my physical testing,especially missing certain type salts that soooo many others have that I don't...cuz I just refused to be called "crazy"...which is a word my doctors will actually yell at me for useing.They say"Not CRAZY,just chemically inbalanced"!
   As I said...I just want to lay it on the line,and maybe re-read this later on down the road and see what progress I've made or haven't.
I felt like it was time to be REAL and hope I have a friend left now that isn't running for the hills.                                  ;-}
HEY WAIT!!! COME BACK.lol

HERE IS A EFFIN COPY OF MY FACEBOOK IN CASE U A**HOLES...

2010-03-13T02:28:00.000-06:00

IN CASE U DIDNT READ IT THERE!!! MAYBE U NEED 2 HEAR IT TWICE!!
I GOT SOMETHING "REAL" TO SAY!!TO ALL OF MY SO-CALLED FAMILY MEMBERS WHO I ALMOST DAILY SAEND MY LOVE!!AND U HAVE TIME ENUFF IN UR DAY 2 SEND MESSAGES 2 EVERY JOE-BLOW ALL OVER...AND IGNORE ME CUZ U THINK I'M NO GOOD B/C OF MY PAST!!WELL...U KNOW WHAT..I KNOW HOW U HATE INTERNET DIRTY LAUNDRY,BUT FROM HERE ON OUT...ALL OF U THAT THINK UR BETTER-THAN,AND THINK AND THINK ALL OF THIS FAMILY IN TYLER IS LOSERS,WELL WHO THE F*^%$# DO U THINK U ARE!! CB!!YOU BETTER STOP THINKING THERE MIGHT NOT B A GOD CUZ HE'S WATCHING UR HATEFUL WAYS,AND U WILL ANSWER TO HIM,CUZ HE "IS"REAL!!JUST B/C I'M NOT RICH OR AS UPPITY AS U "THINK"U ARE!!!U AVOID ME AND PUT ME DOWN!WELL GUESS WHAT?I DONT NEED UR APPROVAL.I'M LEARNING DAY BY ... See MoreDAY 2 B A BETTER PERSON,AND HAVE NEVER EVER TOOK ANYTHING FROM U BUT SOME TIME TRYING TO KEEP U ON THE PHONE!BLOW ME OFF!ALL THESE "I LOVE U ANYWAYS"..BLAH BLah...screw u!! i'm tired of trying to love my family that are HATEeful snotty a***s anyways.MAYBE U SHOULD COME DOWN OFF UR HIGH HORSE AND READ IT WHEN I SAY I LOVE U.BUT I HEAR NOTHING BACK.EVER.SO ITS A GOOD D&%$# THING WE LIVE SO FAR APART!!OR...WELL...THAT SIDE OF ME CANT DEAL W/ REJECTION FROM U SNOTTY NOSE BETTER-THAN(OR "YOU"THINK)UR BETTER THAN..CAN KISS MY LILLY WHITE A**!!(and u know who u are)....I PUT THIS RIGHT WHERE U SAY U HATE PPL KNOWING UR BIZZ.NO WONDER.IF THEY KNEW UR BIZZ,THEY WOULD BE TYPEING THE SAME .!!!
THIS IS TO ALL OF U.DISTANT FAM & NEXT OF KIN.
   (ahhhh....that feels so freakin good to say what I've wanted to say) Instead of "HEY...EVEN THO I DONT HEAR FROM U.I L;OVE & MISS U"...AND UR WELCOME FOR ALL THE MANY PIX THAT I SENT...AS IF THEY MEANT JACK-S*** 2 U ANYWAYS.
I TRIED! WHEN I NEEDED U THE MOST.....U BLOW ME OFF....BUT YET I STILL TELL U I'M HERE 4 YOU.
         WELL....F***K THAT.JUST LIKE THE DAUGHTER OUT OF OUR MOTHERS 6 KIDS THAT ONCE SAID"IF THE B***TCH DIES I WONT EVEN GO TO HER FUNERAL"!!!
       MAYBE SHE WAS NEVER PERFECT,BUT I WOULD HATE 2 SEE YOU THERE ANYWAYS!! SO SHE'S ALMOST GONE.ARE U HAPPY NOW?HANGING ON BY A THREAD.SO GO HAVE YOURSELF A FREAKING PARTY NOW.ANYBODY ELSE?ANY OF MY MOMS SISTERS WANNA GO JOIN HER PARTY?L.T.?HOW CAN A SO-CALLED CHRISTIAN HAVE SO MUCH HATRED?
   ITS ALMOST CELEBRATION TIME 4 ALL OF YOU IDIOTS!!

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE TAMMI !!! FOCUS!

2010-03-07T05:27:00.000-06:00

I JUST WANT TO FOCUS ON SOME HAPPY MOMENTS.KALON RUNS FROM MY CAMERA...BUT I GOT THE BABY...LOL...JADIN IS SUCH A DOLL!(IN PHOTO'S...NOT VIDEO STREAM)...(I"ll be sneaking that in on them too!)WHY DOES EVERYONE SEEM 2 RUN WHEN I GET THE CAMERA?BLAHHH!!

ISN'T HE ADOREABLE??

KALON JUST THOUGHT I DIDN'T HAVE THE CAMERA IN MY HAND!!lol...I DID TELL HER I WAS POSTING HER...SHE WAS LIKE"WHATEVVVVER"(lol)

I DECIDED AGAINST POSTING HER HOSPITAL PIX MY OTHER DAUGHTER TOOK.I CAN BARELY EVEN LOOK AT THEM.

At Hospital going nuts

2010-03-02T00:11:00.002-06:00

I'm sitting in the hospital beside my daughters bed....Kalon,who is my youngest daughter....she tried to take her own life tonight,and almost succeded.She is FINALLY sleeping soundly while I sit here....wanting so bad to wake her to see if her brain activity is normal b/c of all the chemicals she injested.Mainly embalming fluid and several other handfuls of meds from Ambien to Xanax,and Vicodan,and some other stuff I think over the counter.I just looked into my baby girls eyes earlier..trying to get her to hear me,or see me...but all I seen was an emptyness in her eyes that I've never seen before.Plus her eyes were rolling back into her head while her whole body was flailing around,as the hospital ppl tried to hold her down to do the I.V.'s,and catheter,etc...
     I've been here for 7 hours now and my mind is mush.I'm the only one allowed in her room...or at least ONE next of kin at a time,and I'm NOT leaving her side until she opens her eyes and speaks.I find it unusual that the doctors can't tell me anything but her stats are looking better,but they don't know about her brain activity??Or if there is any permanent damage?
What am I doing on a damn computer? What could I have done to stop this from happening?Why didnt she call ME and tell me what she told a stupid drug head?? She told him on the phone"Take care of my baby for me"(MY GRANDCHILD)..and then said "she just didn't want to live anymore,she wants to die"....and then before he could make it over there...she digested enough stuff to kill a bunch of ppl.
WHY DID U DO THIS BABY GIRL??
       Don't you know Jadon needs you? "I" need you?? Your so young.So beautiful.What could be so bad that you don't want to be live anymore?
   She doesn't look like my baby girl laying here.Where are you Kalon?Come back.Wake up baby and talk to me.
       I love you sweetheart.What can I do to make it better? WHAT?>????? PLEASE WAKE UP & TELL ME...
      Oh my sweet precious baby girl.

UPDATE 2 HOURS or...? LATER----->::: The doctor says that if she doesn't wake up on her OWN by early a.m....then they are going to do some tests,cat scan,and check her brain activity.But NOW I am all alone in the waiting area,because she's in the ICU Circle where the assholes won't even let me sit by her side anymore!! I only get to see her 4 times a day for 15 minutes each interval!!! I'm JUST NOT UNDERSTANDING THIS!!!!! When she wakes I NEED to BE THERE!! Don't these ppl understand this?They said they will come get me if/WHEN she wakes up...OMG! If she wakes up...NO SHE WILL WAKE UP!!! I HAVE BEEN PRAYING OVER HER TILL THEY TOOK HER IN THAT CLOSED IN AREA! I'M TRYING NOT 2 BE MAD CUZ THERE ARE ONLY 2 PATIENTS PER EACH NURSE.SO SHE'S BEING WATCHED...BUT I CAN'T SIT OUT HERE LIKE THIS NOT KNOWING.....

UPDATE #2
   SHE'S AWAKE!!!!The nurse came and got me,and she is OK....she knows who I am...apparently,they had asked a series of questions..your name,do u know where u are?,do u know who the president is...the nurse said she answered them all right and they are gona do more testing today....its almost 7 a.m. now,and that was earlier this morning...I've just been in the waiting area w/ some family memebers and making myself stay awake in case she calls for me(not that they would allow me in there,anyways)but...OMG!! So far so good.More testing the doctor said...that their still gona go ahead and do some more tests b/c of the embalming fluid.
    My cell is blowing up,and I'm gona run home and shower and come back...even tho they won't let me see her until 1:00-1:15.....I'll just be happy to see her for 15 minutes now.

SECRET POST

2010-02-22T07:35:00.000-06:00

Only me,you and all of cyberspace know now that I just got denied my disability for what my sister calls her "crazy check"!! Freakin'A! All I REALLY needed was my stone removed,broken neck fixxed and wrist put back together!THEN they can have the $700 a month check.But I jumped rank and found out I am in the DENIED stack.Oh well.....I am SO READY to go back to work anyways....That crazy check won't stop me from going any crazier than I am now...I just wanted my physical stuff fixxed.
Bummer.
They say ewveryone gets denied the 1st time,so u have to appeal...but I'm not appealing if it means waiting and not working.Some say don't work,some say "do what they say and don't make over $940 a month".I don't care.I've worked my whole life and this time off has driven me to insanity(more than I already am)...so,I don't care WHERE I work,I just want to work.
With that said:gotta get dressed for my all day job search.

TAMMI IN A YEAR OR TWO!

2010-02-07T01:31:00.000-06:00

Yup,this is me in a year or so.....that's when you lay on your back and your tott-totts get lost under your arms somewhere!
With this extra weight I've gained...I can proudly say I ACTUALLY have cleavage!Yee-hawww!!( oh snap,was that a bit Texas-fied)?lol

Ok-so yesterday...thanks to my new I-Pod....I withstood that damn stepper for a whole 15 minutes,and treadmilled for 40 minutes(on slow) and walked about 30 minutes...then I ACTUALLY heard my legs say "Sit the f*** down before you fall"!! So I sat in my car for about 5 minutes before my shaking-self could even drive safely.LOL.. This morning,my legs are wobbly,but I'm no quitter! (at least not today anyways)lol

Moving right along....

2010-02-03T06:40:00.000-06:00

Oh good grief! Has it been THAT long since I've been here?Wow.Anyways,I just HAD to get that got-awful looking eyeball off center stage.Just the reminder is burning my eye again(not really)...ohhh the freakin' pain.It took a good 4 days to even drive my car!! Talk about a dumb move.I almost done it again last night though!I had dozed off watching a Netflix movie(Funny People)...which was not so funny or I prolly wouldn't have dozed off.Anyways,I woke up and my eyes were SO dry,so I used the heck out of my eye drops,then tryed taking out my contacts and ran into the SAME problem as last time when I scratched and abrazed my eye w/ a dry contact.So THIS dang time,I left those bad boys in my eyes until they were back to floating instead of stuck,and THEN took them out.Whew! I learned my lesson THIS time,the hard way!That picture below still grosses me out,and I can't/won't allow that to happen again. I love this cartoon(to the right).

I wonder if ALL those are really true.If so,I'm not looking forward to that to come!

   Since I've been off work, I think I've reverted back to my youngster self these days.Me and my friend have been doing the craziest stuff.She's the good wife-ee and sends her hubby off to work with his lunch and all..... then comes to my house and we spend the day running the streets,buying matching stuff (shades,hair bandanas,friendship frogs..etc...)...eating junk food while watching new releases or whatever,doing each others' hair and makeup and taking pictures of the work we done on each other.lol....jamming the CD's we burned and dancing like "the old stripper days" and laughing at each others moves(HA.."old days" that sounds like something my Granny would say)...but she used to be a dancer too,and also spent time in prison as well....and even though she's younger than me,it's like our whole lives have been exactly the same.Cept' she hasn't been in trouble in years,and is such a good person to talk to about anything.I suppose thats why I've been neglecting my blog.....burning up the streets and basically just hanging out.Guess I figure I better get it all out of my system before I go back to work.lol..Awww....can you believe this picture was taken the SAME day he had his shots done in BOTH legs.I wasn't the one to take him this time.When I took him for his shots the first time,they did the same thing(in both legs) and I bawled.He was a tiny tot then,but giggling up a storm until the evil nurse stuck him and he sqeeled out!(of course she's NOT evil)...but I told my daughter SHE was doing the next shots...and she did.But look at him.Laughing and playing the SAME day.He's a tuffy!
  "K" gave me the o.k. to post a pic of her,so here is my totally cool BFF.Isn't she pretty? And such a cool person,who happens to be kind of like a mini-ME...I mean,not the way she looks...but as far as the way we talk and laugh constantly.
Oh well....who wants to really grow up anyways...not me.Well,actually there is a time and place for everything I guess.A time to act your age and be mature...and then there's a time when you just let your hair down some days and act silly.
This post is getting too long,but I just have to add this poem I got off Brooke Burkes site.It's so cool.

  Someone will always be prettier.

Someone will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger.
Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances
Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
The most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
The richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes~ might be lonely.
So, love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,
“I am too Blessed to be Stressed and too Anointed, to be Disappointed!”
“Winners make things happen~~ Losers let things happen.”
Be “Blessed” ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.
“To the world you might be one person, to me you are special!”

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID IT AGAIN!

2010-01-18T05:55:00.000-06:00

This is un-freak-in-believable.The day before I was gona go to be w/ my family & bury my precious cousins ashes by his Mom(my Aunt)...I did THIS to my eyeball and had to go to the Emergency Room.AND FOR WHAT? ALL they did was put ONE drop of pain reliever in my eye to do the test,and just wrote a script for painpills and antibiotic eye drops! I asked could I have those amazing pain reliever drops and was told "no b/c they will ruin my eyes for sure"! I was like...SO! I won't use them that much but,she quickly pocketed them and ran w/ them! I should have tackled her for those damn things in hindsight!Right now my eye is so sensative to the light I have a hoody and one of those face masks w/ 2 eye holes,a mouth hole,and have my scratched eye covered.(looking like I'm gona rob a bank...but the light puts me 2 my knees.I'm in a 39 degree room in the dark,cept the light on my computer.Something about the cool air lessens the got-awful pain.

The worse pain is I couldn't even ride in a car,muchless drive my car to go to the burial so I'm pretty sad this morning.

All I can say is "Rest in Peace big guy.I'll earn my angel wings too and see you up there when it's my time as well.I just wish I could have been there for my other family members and at least got to say my own goodbyes to ya"!
I had JUST spoke to my cousin Bev and was also looking forward to seeing her and my other family members that live so far away.I love ya'll if you are reading this,and I wish I could have made it.I road in the floorboard to the E.R. sqeeling like I'd been shot in the eye instead of cut & abrased...or else I would have surely been there.
These pics are pretty nasty,and I was yelping when they were taken...but at least you'll know why I couldn't come.

YOU WOULD THINK I WOULD HAVE LEARNED FROM THE LAST INCIDENT! CEPT' THIS TIME,I HAD TO GO TO THE E.R.....I THOUGHT MY EYEBALL WAS GONA POP OUT OF MY HEAD!

I wonder how many others' have had their privacy invaded as a youngster?

2010-01-08T09:30:00.000-06:00

Thanks anonymous.I'm referring to the person that said my blog is more creative now than it used to be.Wish I knew who Anonymous is...well,if I don't know this person,than he/she would still be anonymous,right?lol Anyways..Yea,I was reading back in 2002,and my life was so freakin horrid,/bored except the ONLY time I had anything to talk about ...was when Ray had kicked my ass or broke another bone or something.Other than that,he made SURE I had nothing to talk about.
Guess I could have googled jokes and posted them,huh? But I've been a diary-keeper(thats what it used to be called anyways) since I was a teen...like 12 or 13,back when I always kept those little pink tiny books with a tiny little key to lock them with....AS IF....my Grandma bypassed the key and cut the damn thing open,and the look on her face when I got home from school was PRICELESS! Her ...ummmm(cough) "virgin grandbaby"(me) WASN'T who wrote in that diary.Trying to say it wasn't my diary was really stupid,and only made my ass whooping and grounding worse.Besides the fact she said "I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU".OMG!That was worse than a beating.She read that I smoked a cig,a joint,drank some beer,etc...etc...and the worste was when I said "OUCH it HURT"!! (losing my virginity,that is)...I had never been so humbled in my whole life.(up until then,of course)lol...I had to practically sit in her lap in church EVERYTIME the doors to the church were open.Not to mention her bringing me to our preachers' house to pray the demons out of me.UuGH!
I don't suppose anybody else ever had to go outside and pick their own switch!? Or got popped with the hairbrush for fidgeting...not sitting still and complaining "please no pig-tails!"(WHOPP!)...and "you better NOT cry and make your face all red before you get on that school bus"! I don't suppose anybody else got a spanking,then told to stop that crying or your gona get some more!?
Yup,they call that beating a child now...we called it LIFE! like it or lump it.
May you rest in peace Granny.You TRYED to make a good girl out of me.I bet your looking down on me wanting me to go outside and pull a BIG switch,aren't you?
Sheesh! NOW if you LOOK at your kids wrong ,they'll say "I'll call CPS on you"! Boy-O-boy...I WISH I WOULD have said THAT to Granny,I wouldn't be sitting here typeing about it now!lol

LOOK! Nichole Richie answered my question!

2010-01-08T07:37:00.000-06:00

I was really just thinking outloud when I typed this...and check it out.She actually read it and answered my question. ;-}
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=147888528&albumID=0&imageID=6525087
yup I blogged twice today.That's unusual,huh?

Everything Seems Different!

2010-01-07T06:47:00.000-06:00

Ok,since God was clearly in that court room,and the Judge seen fit to put me on probation instead of send me back to the penetentiary,the sun shines so pretty.I WANT to get up and do so many things.I feel 100 percent better physically(other than my eyeball s burning)Yup,I did THAT again.I don't wanna talk about it cuz somebody would probably tell me not to wear contacts again(I've already heard that speech.lol) Anyways....life is much better knowing I'm not going back up that got-awful river that I promised my daughters' I would NEVER go down again.Whew!! That was so close though.TOO CLOSE.I wore the cutest outfit,a really jazzy new expensive pant-suit,but yet,thinking I would be cuffed and shackled right there in court,I wore stupid new tennis shoes w/ that outfit instead of heals.2 pairs of thick white socks,a white t-shirt underneath my clothes,and two pairs of panties,2 bra's...lol...ALL jail approved stuff.OMG,I was ready.Cept' it felt like I was about to be sent to death row.Which reminds me...I tried so hard and dropped so many forms to the Warden to be sent from Lane Murray(the prison I was at) to Mountainview,which is where death row is...cuz thats the only unit where you can get the computer skills.Each womans unit has a vocation you can request to take,but my unit was friggin the largest/maximum custody and housed more damn murderers and even women child molestors than Mountainview.
I guess life seems so much better now cuz I've been re-living so many things I had forgotten since I was in prison,its just crazy.Like the day a table full of women were swearing up and down I was Darlie Routier(now before I get tongue lashed,like the last time I mentioned this) I'm not saying she's frickin innocent of murdering her 2 small boys,or she's innocent! I'm just saying I nearly got jumped becuz those inmates thought I was HER! Duhh,yes,I was THERE in the infirmary when she was brought in,so I DID see her..but then she was locked down away from ALL prison population on death row..duhh! I almost had to fight all these idiots.I don't think I look at all like her.Not THEN,and not NOW.But the low rumbleing talk in that chow hall was about jumping ME! EEEK! Then living w/ people like Diane Zamora(the cadet that killed the cheerleader) along w/ her co-conspirator David Graham...she tryed to act like she was some famous freakin star,and it pissed me off having to work with her in maintenance...hell,she worked in the tool room checking(signing) each tool in and out! Easy access to escape! The dummies! She could have cut our throats to get away,I'm sure.Of course when the Texas 6 guys escaped,they shut ALL Texas prisons down.No movement on ANY unit.It was 13 days of hell.Then they decided to pull all the Stat 2's....in English,all the people on an "aggrivated" type level.Murders...violent offenders....anybody doing a long sentence...and even the short sentences but are violent inmates inside OR before they were sent to TDC.They pulled their status,thus taking away maintenance jobs,commissary jobs,any trustee status job on any unit.I lived side-by-side w/ a girl that was smoking crack and had her baby at the crack house,let the baby die and continued to smoke crack.Worked with a girl that shook her baby so hard and beat her so badly it killed her.Man o man,I was so glad when the job changes were made.Working on maintenance we had access to bolt cutters,you name it! And it's a thousand wonders someone didnt escape before they changed the job requirements.Well,there WERE guys that HAD escaped...but no women while "I" was there.But all these thoughts keep flooding my head,and how miserable I was in prison,and Lord knows,I HAVE to straighten up and pay attention to every step I take from here on out!!I'm looking for just the right group I'm gona be comfortable in,as we speak.I know I can't do this alone.So talkingh to people like me...that have had a suck-ee criminal history and don't judge me harshly,I think is something I need to do.If people HERE on my blog can try and understand me and still be my friend,I'm sure there is a group out there of people like ya'll somewhere close by.I know there is AA and NA and maybe that would be okay,but I wasn't impressed with that last meeting I tryed.Hell,my ex-uncle(thru my step-dad) was there TALKING about how clean and sober he was,and I know for a FACT that he was lieing his ass off!!He BUYS from a stupid,lets say family member that sells him mucho coke.Not 2 worry.I don't speak to that family member AT ALL.I havent in ages.Don't even wanna be seen at that house either.Anyways, He had the balls to come up to my car being all flirty and stuff and it just grossed me out.Not JUST that I love my ex-aunt(step aunt) if that makes sense...but that he was sitting there for about 15 minutes talking a mound of bullshit,saying he hasn't touched ANYTHING like coke,only weed(but he didnt say that in his speech) for 6 years.YEA RIGHT!
Anyways...will look around and see about some sort of support type group.It doesn't have to be a drug type thing.
Crap...just went outside and found the heavy ass box of what is SUPPOSED to be "JUST" a Fed X delivery of both inks for my printer(black & colored)..opened the heavy box and its 2 blacks and 100's of free packs of glossy paper!! $58.43 for what was supposed to be COLORED INK TOO! UUGH! Oh,well,at least I'm not sitting in jail wondering if my delivery made it!lol...not funny,really...but so true.
and this is my favorite!!!

Image hosting, free photo sharing & video sharing at Photobucket

2010-01-02T10:05:00.000-06:00

Image hosting, free photo sharing & video sharing at Photobucket: "zoom

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just playing w/ pix....dont know what the crap I'm doing...just trying something different

UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVABLE!!!

2009-12-29T03:05:00.000-06:00

I think I'm still in shock! I'm actually HOME!! I'm not believing this is even REAL.Do you know what saved my a***? The ONLY thing that saved me a***!! She read over ALL my history from 1990 to 1996,and the fact that I'd been sent to prison,then the Driving w/ License suspended in 2005...and shook her head in disbelief! and 2) in my plea(an essay type thingy I wrote to her) I explained that my purse was ONLY brought in when it was brought in for me out of the truck.I NEVER had it in the store,and a tanning lotion was taken from it and put into the so-called stolen items.I disputed that in my essay.She got agg about that and said"the employee said I took that"and had it in my hand as I was sitting in the breezeway waiting on my purse to be brought in for me!So how could I argue that lieing employees statement?So she gave me a second aside w/ my lawyer and he said "just go with it",otherwise she's just gona believe the employee! So I sucked it up and said yes,I had that in my hand as well.She asked me AGAIN,why was I sitting on the bench past the security,inside the store.And again I told her my friend was bringing in my purse...BUT,I said I KNEW BETTER than to cross that security line and so therefore I'm "guilty as charged"....THEN,much to my surprise!! My lawyer stood up and actually defended me! He told the Judge locking me up for 2 years wouldn't give me the chance to go back to doing what I love.Public speaking...he explained that I had went w/ the Constable Dennis Taylor and did alot of Public Speaking, like:Juvenile,even the prison I was released from,the Kiwanis,Rotary Club,kids at schools etc...and well,in short,at these Public Speaking engagements,I dicussed how my life spun out of control as a teen,eventually winding me up in a prison cell.He even described how the Constable brought drug samples,needles,and things like that to show and scare the kids,and inform the public,and locking me up would hinder my cause..so 2 speak.That saved my rear-end!!Then she said something like"Fine example YOU are now",and I agreed.But I CAN'T believe my lawyer put it ALL out on the table.The Judge said her first thought was to go ahead and give me 2 years prison,but since I could use something like that for community service,and give BACK to the community,then she'll just give me probation.4 years,and the first year being Intensive Supervision (weekly visits).I went immediately 2 the probation office to do my initial probation stuff,met my new probation officer,who looks like a skinny(cute) version of Brad Pitt!OMG...would u believe he asked me"are you comfortable with giving a urinalysis today"? I'm like:"huh"? and he says "I CAN wait to do this U.A.,if u need me to"...I laughed and said...oh no no no.I'll take the U.A. today.LOL...Wasn't that nice of him to moreless--->NOT want me to fail one?
   Anyways...now I feel like a nutcase crying all over my keyboard and saying all my goodbyes to everyone.Even before court tho,my lawyer said,I'm sorry that you are signing this refusal to accept the 9 month prison plea deal because I really think she's gona send you off for 2 years instead of 9 months..but its your call.Stubborn me...I thought"I'm NOT taking 9 months for something so stupid"...but then 5 minutes before court,I almost said "OK,I'll take it"...then he said "OK,the Judge will prolly give u the max..2 years"...I still stood firm and said,then fine,I'll take my chances.
And voila'! If I would have taken the 9 months,I wouldn't be on probation for 4 years....2 years if I do it BY THE BOOK,I can go back before the Judge and ask for a reduction....Some ppl may have wanted the 9 months and be done w/ it all...but I've done time before,and 9 months is like 3 years of hell,so I couldn't imagine going back through the system at all.
   Now that I've put my whole ugly history online...I can't say I'm embarrassed(well,maybe a little) that I I posted my criminal history,but I'm certainly not proud of it.It is what it is,and I HAVE learned from my stupid mistakes.Its been ages since I thought I was above the law,and was that party girl who didnt give a damn.My kids even say I'm sooo boring compared to the "other mom" they had once.Guess I just had to grow up.Talk about flashbacks though.What started out as one big misunderstanding...turned into one HUGE nightmare.
      Just wanna say "Thanks for all the prayers"! No matter how many lawyers said "take the 9 months or your gona get worse"....God STILL seen fit for me to be sitting here right now,and not in some cold,skanky jail waiting to go to prison.

HEADED TO PRISON TOMORROW!!

2009-12-27T08:56:00.002-06:00

I'm so happy I got to spend Christmas w/ my family!!

Well,on a down-swing...Today is my last day in the freeworld for 9 months to 2 years,and I'm going nuts thinking about those cuffs being put on me in court.But its reality.My hopes for probation have been shot down by too many people/lawyers that know the Judge,and know she uses past offenses,even if it WAS 1992,1993...just wayyy back when I was a wild child.No violence,just hot checks(my own acct)..STILL considered theft.I GET that...but the thing is,when my lawyer didn't give me my Oct.Court date,that was a bad mark on me.THEN,I just HAD to open my big mouth and tell my lawyer what a ding-dong he was for not doing his job.THAT sealed my coffin."Some things are better left unsaid"

On a lighter note!! My blog will be updated by LETTI ...my bestest blogger buddy and more especially the best friend I've had for a really long time.In fact,she prettied-up my blog page! It's such a relief to know that at least I won't be "out-of-site-out-of-mind",thanks to Letti...even though she has the most precious baby boy she not-so-recently gave birth to...so asking her to do this was hard to do b/c I KNOW she has her hands full w/ baby Jaxon(and hubby of course..lol)..but she emailed me back and said she would "gladly" do it,and was already gona ask ME if I wanted her to update my blog.Post new addresses,in case I'm moved to a different prison..and most importantly posting my prison number.Once your in prison,your mail will follow u to any unit u are moved to.But jail-mail gets returned to sender,if I'm not there,and have already been sent up the river.

I have been up 2 my ears packing away important stuff,so my important things like my baby books,and baby pictures,memorable things that can't be replaced...I won't get probation and my family knows this...so the phone has rung non-stop.I can't even get through a conversation w/ my daughter without her breaking down crying.Just so glad to be w/ Rayven,AJ and ALL of my family for Christmas!!

This is the jail I will be in for a few months.Maybe 2 months or so: ~~Tamara OOPS~~!... 206 E. Elm St... Tyler,Tx...75702

Then I'll be sent to a prison unit somewhere here in Tx.and it would be SOOOO nice to have someone send me a short note to say hi...or correspond with.But just so you know,and my faves list KNOW that I'm no violent/crazy criminal.This $18 Walmart petty theft was a misdemeanor enhanced 2 a felony since I had a theft by check(WAY back in 1992) and another in 1994...but this recent Walmart thing makes 3...and 3 makes a felony.And a felony leads to lock-up,if probation is not an option.And its not,for me unfortunately.

The worste thing that hurt me,was I made my lawyer REALLY mad.So he's hoping the Judge throws the book at me,I'm sure.So..."it is,what it is"....I wanna say this one quick important thing before I close.Thanks for all your prayers and I have really appreciated all of my blog-buds.I've made some really strong friendships through blogspot...and I want you to know how much I adore you.Thanks for not pre-judging me,and accepting me for who I am.Mistakes,faults,short comings and ALL...it really means alot.

If u write me,I assure you,I will write you back.It gets so lonely in there.So your mail and your prayers mean more to me than you could EVER imagine.

Sincerely

~~Tamara~~ OOOPS
EDIT: ALMOST FORGOT.PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I HAVEN'T BEEN BY YOUR BLOG.ITS BEEN CRAZY THE LAST FEW WEEKS,JUST GETTING THINGS IN ORDER FOR LOCKUP,SO I'M SORRY IF I'VE BEEN MISSING IN ACTION.

9 Days Until D-Day!! ;-{

2009-12-19T06:45:00.003-06:00

As if things couldn't get any worse(see last post)UUGH!...I clicked on that site called "Friendster" and my new computer went friggin' haywire!! Pop ups galore! VIRUS-VIRUS....so I couldn't get AVG to do s*** about it,so I went ahead (against my better judgement) and installed Norton,the one that came with this computer and won't get off of my toolbar until installed.So I went ahead w/ Norton hoping it would clear up all the crap that jumped in my computer...oh and I forgot to mention,this new Windows 7 has this feature called...ummm...Windows something.......and it automatically starts scanning your computer when a virus or trojan rears its ugly head and when it finishes it asks you if you want to remove all 23 problems I had 7 viruses...9 trojans...and the rest were adaware or malware(can't recall)...but when I clicked on YES,REMOVE...the credit card thingy popped up...and of course I didn't put my info in.I wonder if that was just a sneaky way of them wanting me to buy their product by scaring me w/ a possible virus..hmm...does anybody have that scanner that comes WITH window 7? Or had this problem?

Well....9 days and counting.Sorry I haven't been online too much,so forgive me for being so self-absorbed and not coming by your blog(that makes me feel terrible)... I've just been just trying to get my affairs in order,and spend as much time as I can with A'million that I can...who,btw looooves to come bang bang bang my keyboard when the attn isn't directly on HIM..lol.OMG,I'm gona miss him soooo much its hard to even THINK about it.
Hey,If you want ME to write to you,in case I am moved to a facility that my incoming letters won't follow...then email me your address and I will write to you,if you want. tamra747@yahoo.com 9 days and I'm not gona lie.I'm scared shitless.I've been storing my important things that can't be replaced,and trying to get ready for Christmas at the same time.I'm just soooo grateful that the Judge allowed me to spend Christmas w/ my babies and family and friends.I refuse to give up hope for probation,but too many higher-ups say that the chances of THAT are slim to none...it doesn't matter that my DWI's and hot checks (my own acct) and a drug bust at 19 years old......it's still things I did,and things I paid for....but this is an under $20 petty charge,and I'm not on paper now(pob. or parole)...so if she could just take THAT into consideration....It would mean the world to me if we could stay in contact.....Anyways...I'm not sure if it was just MY computer,or what the deal was...but all I know is I went to that website called Friendster" and ALL kinds of wierd stuff started happening ...so be careful.
Have a Happy Day Buddy's !!! *HUGGGGGGGGGGGS

THE HARDEST POST I'VE EVER POSTED!!!!!!!

2009-12-03T05:43:00.002-06:00

EDIT-----> I went to court,and entered a plea,and my lawyer gave me 2 choices...1)agree with the D.A. and accept 9 months in prison....or 2.) take an Open Hearing,which means the Judge decides to give me 9 to 24 months or give me probation....I struggled with it,but I decided to take the Judges' decision,and maybe she'll give me probation...So the post below was just me freaking out today before court.I'm home,but may still get sent away on Dec.28th.That's FOR SURE the final decision day.But I'm praying that she(the Judge)could give me probation.I'm just really thankful that at least I'll get to spend the holidays' with my family...
a
This is the hardest and most embarrassing post I've EVER posted.So bear with me.I go to court today over a theft under $20...THAT was the post I freaked out about a while back.Today is court day and my lawyer says I'm getting 9 months State Jail(which is still prison)its just called State Jail..cuz u have a SET date,and you dont have to wait to see a parole officer to know when you get out..I think in Dallas...but I'll be in the county waiting to go probably today he says.So if I don't get back online tonight,you KNOW I was cuffed in court and sent to the county jail.

My real name is Tamara Corbett..Here at the Tyler Texas WalMart I made a huge mistake(I was in the breezeway with a head band on,but went thru the security point,waiting on T. to bring my purse in from the truck) and got stopped by an employee.I am more than likely going today to start doing a year in prison(day for day)for petty theft under $20,and am hoping someone will write and keep me company as I pay my debt to society.I can't blog anymore.No computers in lockup.But I assure you..I will be back after I pay my debt to society.I TOLD you I made a REALLY stupid mistake.This is so embarrassing,I could crawl in a hole.I've been crying and praying all night for lieniency,so I'm going to court w/ puffy eyes.Bummer.
Thanks for being my blogger buddy everyone.Please don't think I'm an awful person,I just did a stupid thing at the spur of the moment on my way to Houston to my Daddy's and its just now going to court.

The address I will be at is this one below until I am sent to prison.It will be the county jail.Can you please write to me please? I would love to hear from friends and maybe even new ones...because mail is the only part of the day worth looking forward to.I'll sure miss our talks..that's for SURE.

it's:
Tamara Corbett
206 East Elm St
Tyler Texas 75702
PLEASE shoot me a few lines and I promise to write you back.I will have a new address when I am moved to TDC in a month or 2.Its Smith County Jail in Texas if u want to call and see if I'm still there.PLEASE consider keeping in touch.It would mean the world.
SINCERELY,
Tammi
ps--I know from experience Mail Call is the only time of the day to look forward to..

HAPPY THANKSGIVING & MO' STUFF

2009-11-26T07:03:00.000-06:00

I am in the middle of cooking and thought I'd sneak off in here and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels! ;-}
As Walker says daughter 1....D1 came and picked up my bundle of joy/hurricane(lol)...and I do my usual,grab the cam,which D1 says is ridiculous how many pics I take..but a zillion is never enough for me.I adore my little stinkers...and besides,most everytime she comes,she prints out so many pictures from my computer that yesterday I ran smooth out of ink.So until I get back to the store(I forgot to p/u ink yesterday....UuGH),I can't print pics on either printer.So I remembered I have the coolest Kodak Printer Dock,and it's so tiny,you would think it wouldn't print a good pic,but it does.I actually do this b/c both D1 and D2 scramble through pictures and wipe me out.Even the one's I have all over the house in frames,or in my Brag Book I carry in my purse.So I guess what they say about me is true "Mom won't tell us NO to anything"..so off the wall they go,frame and all...lol..99% of the time.Sometimes their shocked when I REALLY put my foot down when it comes to when I JUST bought the blouse or K-Swiss or shades,or whatever...ohhhh well,what are Moms put on the earth for? To 24-7 cater to our adoreble stinkers(at all cost)lol..I always say the older they get the more expensive their "toys" get.

I'm making beans w/ everything but the sink in them(bacon,smoked sausage etc),a triple recipe(homemade)banana pudding,and what I call cream cheese/lime jello surprise(cream cheese,pineapples,lime jello,pecans)and refrigerate,and my family has a hissy if I don't bring that dessert.Everyone I talked to says "you ARE bringing the green stuff,right"?

He ate 3 bites of egg and 2 mini sausage and a cup of jelly before I caught him!lol Whew!All that suger! Talk about bouncing off walls after that.Boy,he's fast.You can't turn your head for a second.He is just amazing!

He's saying "Bye everyone,Have a Happy Thanksgiving".....OR maybe he's just saying "OK Mi-Mi,that's ENOUGH with the pictures,I'll wave,but this is the LAST picture I will pose for"!!!
HAPPY TURKEY DAY

Kiddo's sure do the oddest things sometimes ;-}

2009-11-24T04:05:00.000-06:00

My daughter dropped off my lil A'million yesterday...and it's becoming more and more clear everyday that when Mom leaves,my sweeties have halo's over their heads.It's funny how people would tell me the SAME thing when my kids were tots! I see EXACTLY what they mean now.As long as Mom is here...Amillion tests' you on every level.Then when Mom is gone,he becomes the most precious giggle box that does no wrong.Fascinating!

Except for one detail that I MUST document.I know it's NOT funny,but I had to laugh because he really didn't know any better...but here is a picture of his..umm...I'll call it his weapon.

So somewhere outside he found this darn spade(my bad)....and my roomie's cat was sitting on the chair on the porch just minding her own business,and A'million and I were walking out the front door,and I didn't notice that he had that spade in his little push around car he was carrying outside,and so he stops,opens the flap on the lil car,takes the spade out before I could even see down to what he was actually doing,and took it and sorta lightly conked the cat on the head! I was like"Ohhh MY GOSH Mil-Mil !! WHERE DID U GET THAT"? As the poor kitty scurried off as fast as she could.I took away that stupid spade and made him come back in,and tried explaining to a 2 year old that that's a BIG no-no! So I'm telling Mil,NOW you can't go push your lil car cuz your smacked the kitty on the head,and he just giggled.He didn't hit her with it like sideways...it was more like dead on,like a spatula you cook with when you pat a pancake,but OMG! Not good!

Mil-Mil is usually so huggy ands wanna kiss kiss and all,so this just shocked me.Haven't told my roomate yet,that he did that to her kitty...but good grief....earlier he was playing with her(or TRYING to)...saying "Awwww,purrrty kitty kitty" and petting her and (roughly) trying to hold her until Mittens got free from Mil-Mil and ran like h***!!lol

I guess boys will be boys...but that's harsh,and playtime got put on hold because of the kitty attack.I just wondered,is this a bad sign,or do 2 yr old boys do this sorta thing often?My 2 daughters never conked a cat.So...hmmm?

My oldest was rambunctious and hyper..but Mil-Mil is the BEST 2 yr old lil sweetheart I've EVER seen,and I don't say that(REALLY)cuz he's my grandbaby,nor am I trying to minimize the cat attack...but he sit or kicks back and watches Dora the Explorer or Spongebob for as long as I let him pretty much.My oldest (his Mom)NEVER sat still that long.She's STILL on the move like the Energizer Bunny.So,go figure.

Anyways..here is Mil-Mil yesterday being his sweet calm self. ;-}

Had to re-set the date,its a day off...maybe cuz of that time change,I'm guessing...?But it should say the 23rd.

and Rayven on her way out the door..doing her usual,either digging through jewelry and hair stuff,or in my clothes closets looking for something to make off like a bandit with.

and of course one more of my lil boo looking so precious.Am I silly cuz I sometimes just watch him sleep and get so blurry-eyed thinking about how adoreable he is,and wondering what he's dreaming about...Maybe I should have been more harsh with scolding him about the kitty,but he doesn't have a mean bone in his body..I'm thinking he's just so young and don't understand.

Young Un's....I usually say "He does no wrong"...but the kitty conking just shocked me.

Boring Weekend!Pix of a typical day these days!

2009-11-21T10:38:00.001-06:00

Wouldn't it be nice to just jump in the car and GO-GO-GO? Just keep driving until I get to maybe...umm..Vegas or California....no,I know...I had a blast in Tennessee.Music Row is the coolest place to visit.I wanted to move to TN after spending the night there on my way driving from New Hampshire back to Texas.Stopped at a motel and spent the night in Nashville and the next day hung out on Music Row in and out of all the singers shops and a wax museum and..whoa! Those wax figures look so real it's freaky...I think I'll dig up those pics and post them of all the famous stuff I seen.Not to mention meeting George Jones' bus driver Pee-Wee at the Twitty Store.Then my oldest daughter,she was a kiddo then...we went to Loretta Lynn's place "Butcher Holler",and toured her house she moved out of and into a small 2 bedroom brick home so the public could see her mansion she raised her kiddo's at,then we road the simulated coal mine ride,which bored my daughter to pieces.She looked like me in the pictures to the right the whole day...since I'm a deep East Texan,of course we grew up on country music,and gospel country...so that trip is at the top of my "coolest places I've been"....I've been all over the states,but never out of the U.S.....Seems like everyone has been out of the country at least once in their life.I would love to be able to one day be able to do that gosh-darn.Well,anyways,the pictures are a tribute to what my weekends look like THESE days!lol

I suppose I'm just a tad jealous that roomie flew to Los Angeles for the weekend w/ her Dentist boyfriend,and I'm left here to just pine away trying to decide whether to take up Bingo or knitting..lol(kidding).....No,seriously I've been lots of places...no huge complaints here...I am happy she's off having a ball w/ her honey.Wished I could have tagged along though,but of course 2's company and 3's a blast...??Or is it 3's a crowd?hahaha

Ahhh...just reminiscing(sp) a little back when I just decided one day to go somewhere one day and left the next day!Out of Texas,of course.lol

Switching gears a bit...This color test drove me nutshttp://www.humorsphere.com/fun/8787/colortest.swf...when others claimed it was a piece of cake..who thought this s*** up ought to be slapped anyways?!

I DID IT !!

2009-11-16T05:25:00.000-06:00

I FINALLY went out on a limb and combined both blogs....I initially closed the first blog I started in 2002,because lets just say "boy did I air some dirty laundry"! Plus the fact I had so many skeletons blogged in there,everytime you opened that page a bone flew out and hit me! Alot of stuff my job didn't need to read about.Since a co-worker somehow found my blog,I hit the panic button and shut her down,only for invited ppl only.
   But hey! Like Paula says"IT IS WHAT IT IS"! I used to be ashamed of the fact that I was once a stripper,and used my blog to get alot of that type of stuff off my chest.Not proud of going to prison,but blogged that issue as well,and STILL have the wierdest nightmarews about being in the penetentiary again.Probably not such a good idea for corporate bosses to read about(even though alot of them are sitting right in the middle of a club getting that booby-in-the-face table dance on Saturdays!)
   OK--so back in the day,I could probably blog stuff that would make eyes bug out....but THIS Tammi is comfortable with who I am today.Sure,I made mistakes,and God knbows,for my 2 kiddo's sake alone,I wish I could go back and do things SO different.God KNOWS my heart.
So to me...THIS was a big step taking the shut down blog and adding it to this one.Because it took ALL of what happened in my life,tom make the person that I am today.I still make poor decisions sometimes.I wish I were perfect and could say I'm the PERFECT decision maker,but reality is...I'm not.All I can do is strive like hell to stay on the straight and narrow,and away from people that aren't going down the path I'm on.
   As some recall,I DID go to the reunion at the club I danced at the most,and seen some of the same people I worked with back in the day...and one in particular is STILL making HUGE bucks.I think those HUGE boobs she got and a few extra things she done to herself is what keeps those 100's coming...but even when the owner said"wanna come back"? I couldn't help but laugh my a*** off....I was remembering what a friend I've known for years said to me....I told him one day,I said "Wade,I sure miss that money,I think I'll dance again"...his reply was "where are you gona dance at?The VFW?" (which is a club type place where the Veterans of Foreign War go to drink) for those that aren't familiar.I laughed till my sides hurt.I could have been offended.But let's face it.I'm a Mi-Mi now,and since I wasn't the perfect role model for my girls',maybe I can make it up w/ my grandbabies and friends n family's kiddo's.I mean,lets face it.Youth is gone....but even though I see people MY age still clocking dollars,I had that money problem called "easy-come-easy-go",and if you'll notice,girls are STILL making $200-$800 or more a night,but never have a THING to show for it.So go figure.
    Anyways...I can't believe I actually followed those directions and combined both blogs...pretty cool,huh?
   I'm really not as much ashamed...nor am I proud of my past.It is what it is...I can only live for this day and try to get through it without being that silly Tammi I once was.God has forgiven me,just as my girls have,so what can I say? I learned from each and every step I took and everytime I stepped too high and fell on my face.So this was a big deal putting my old stuff on this blog.
      All I can say is "thank the Man above,He broke the mold when it came to me"...lol

I'M PISSIN' IN HIGH COTTON!!

2009-11-08T17:21:00.004-06:00

Isn't that an analogy?"Pissin' n high cotton"? Oh well...New to me anyways..cuz GUESS WHAT?? Don't hate on me...but I went to Best Buy to get a new Laptop,and couldn't resist the cool a** Windows Seven Desktops!!! I didn't get the top of the line moneywise,but I'm proud as h*** of my E-Machine,and it's faster than Walkers right hand while he's watching Asian Porn!!!
Yipppppeeee! Being the "guru" that I am...guess how long it took me to set it up?? 14 minutes!! That's including un-assing the older one.It's still in good shape,just needing some stuff done that my lazy butt won't do,plus screw getting a new sound card,I got the whole sha-bang!! Yayyy! Lemme' find my digi-cam so I can show off.lol
I love this larger than life flat screen!!Plus is takes up so little space!!Awesome!Among many other things I haven't even explored yet.Anybody else got the new Windows 7 yet?Here I am acting doofus---don't we all when we get a new computer.Nevermind...I DO! lol

Coffee Pot Blues and other S****!

2009-10-27T03:44:00.004-05:00

I have searched the web/google and just all over the web looking for a quick fix to this problem that usually starts my day off with an attitude.For some wierd reason,my coffee pot has been acting a total a*** lately! I get up,and before I brush my teethe,etc..etc....I start a pot of coffee.Then as soon as I smell that awesome smell of fresh brewed coffee,I go pour a cup full,add my Equal and creamer...then when I'm about to finish the 1st cup,I have been noticing coffee grounds at the bottom of my cup.Crap!! So I started running it through a strainer into a clear glass and then back into my favorite coffee cup,but there are STILL tiny little grounds that go through the strainer...and it's annoying the crap out of me.

Solution: Buy a new one....but I don't want to....this one is fairly new! No it's not an expensive fancy coffee pot,it's a basic standard size that uses the regular size coffee filters....so what's up with this? I would take it back,but I can't find the reciept...and then two:what's to say the next one I buy doesn't do this too?

OMG!! I fell asleep in this big-oh chair and just woke up w/ keyboard letters imprinted on my forehead.Cough meds and Xanax.I have a headache,can't swallow(heyyy! Can't swallow saliva,that is!)my ears feel so closed up its like I'm high in an airplane,and I don't even wanna talk about what I'm barely coughing up(gross)!!!Yup,as bad as I hate to think this....THIS is how it always starts.The calm before the storm.If I don't get my ass into to Dr.Feelgood for antibiotics,then I will prolly wind up yet another 2 weeks in the hospital w/ pneumonia,that is...if my doctor doesn't send me there anyways.Cuz this is the way it ALWAYS starts.Nooo baby no! Everytime those needle pokers get me in there,I wind up being there two weeks later.So (crossing my fingers)maybe my doctor will prescribe meds before my lungs fill up again and I wind up on lockdown in the hospital.

What happened to the days when I had plenty of cool shit to blog about? I started out trying to find a way to fix my pain in the ass coffee pot,and woke up trying to figure out the best way to fix my own ass before I go through another bout in that torture chamber of a hospital...crap...to be continued:

How to Get and Stay Motivated

2009-10-19T06:40:00.011-05:00

YAYYYY!!! Look what I did? Went and got a years' membership to a gym.I'm excited about this...I forgot to take pictures of the outside track...it's awesome! The track surrounds a BIG pond where your allowed to even go fishing out there if you want.I forgot to take pics of the huge room w/ the wall mirrors where the aerobics are held too.In fact they have step aerobics,hi-impact aerobics,Pilate,Karate,and Judo.I'm so excited to finally start getting back in shape...that is,if I stay motivated,and away from the damn donuts and icecream..lol...I took out some winter clothes I had stored,and can't wear hardly ANYTHING in there.I knew they would fit tighter,but I DIDN'T know I couldn't even get my butt into anything,,,even the blouses and sweaters are waaayyy too small!
So this should be really cool.I just gotta post pix of the outside track..it's just gorgeous!

Upstairs indoor track overlooking the basketball ct.

Finally some good news

2009-10-16T05:04:00.005-05:00

I've just been busy,out of town,and just down right not feeling like processing my thoughts here like I usually do.Really,I have always kept some sort of diary/journal since I've been a teenager...so this is odd for me to just throw in the towel for so long.
Well,I'm out of my shell now and back to my usual chatter-box self...Speaking of that,I just seen a co-worker that I used to work with a while back.I was at the gas pump getting gas and I kept hearing (what I thought) was "Jackie! Jackie! Jackie"!! Then it dawned on me when I seen who was yelling,that she was yelling at ME "Yakky,Yakky"!!! LOL Of course that was her pet name for me cuz we talked probably more than we worked.
Ohh,the good news! I put an ad on Craigs list for a roomate,thinking I'd probably never go through with it anyways.....mainly cuz the last roomy was SUPPOSED to be a friend and wound up being the worste roomate you could imagine.You name it...it happened.Drunken fights w/ BF,theft,left oweing..crap ,it was a total madhouse here.
Anyways,this lady is a phlebotomist,so you know she's disease and drug free.She takes blood at a blood bank...wait,she explained that it's not really the blood they are taking,but the plasma?in the blood.Something like that.Anyways,she's smart,pretty,neat and tidy,non-smoker,she even gets a 10 in her taste in clothes!(lol...not that clothes were even an issue)lol... she's just really an awesome person in general.Actually I didn't put the ad to find a family,or a new friend or anything like that.I just thought an extra few $$'s a week would be fair and useful.It's a good deal though,cuz instead of motel fees or somewhere else..she's already set with wi-fi,cable w/ all the premium channels,phone w/ no long distance,her own bathroom,spacious,washer/dryer,etc..etc...Her room is not so big,and its not like she's got a whole top floor of a 2 story house..and the bathroom isn't even connected to her room,but she doesn't seem to mind.She's even added lots of pretty stuff all around the house...from plants to watt-knots...not to mention I loooove her lil cat "Mitten".Being the chatter-box that I am,I struggle not to momopolize her time w/ me being yakky yakky....but she's just as cheerful and chatty too...so it's all good.Anyways,I met a few people and it seemed like all at once 4 people were waiting on me to call back,and I felt so bad having to say no to the others',but she started talking,she just seemed to out-shine everyone,and I think maybe even more responsible.We'll see.I don't have any doubts at all though,really.
Shoot,where was this kind of deal when I was looking for a place ,after my breakup w/ the X?LOL
Please forgive me for being selfish and not peeping in on my blogger friends...you know who you are....but I just haven't been myself or up to snuff lately and just haven't taken the time to pop in on you.Hope you can forgive me,if it matters anyways...LOL...
Darn,the dryer is beeping...meaning "take out the clothes before they wrinkle"...I wonder if I'm the only one obsessed with that pet peave? ;-} Or maybe it's just that I'd rather not have to iron the clothes,besides the ones that usually get ironed.Hmmm...

Uncle smashed by other uncle in between semi

2009-09-29T04:07:00.002-05:00

First off...this isn't my typical uncle.This happens to be the Uncle that raised me for a few years during teen years.Him & my Aunt,that is.Then if you'll recall,my "X" Ray and I lived w/ them for 2 years ...then behind them and helped my uncle care for my sick aunt.Teary-eyed,but smiling,my best memory of my uncle was when I lived w/ them as a teen,and he bought me my first car.He actually traded a riding lawn mower and $50 for a Pinto when I was 14.They were the best.Well,he's gone to see Jesus now,and I'm ok with that.He was am angel here on earth and just earned his angel wings for Heaven! But it still hurts knowing that they loved me unconditionally,no matter how many times other family members said I was a BAD BAD child,they said "bullshit"!!What happened was my mothers' brother(my Unc.)was backing a semi trailer and it was already jack-knifed.My Uncle just happened to be standing there and the clutch or ?whatever gear slipped?and in a split second my precious uncle was smashed in between until his entire body turned black.He whispered a few times"I can't breathe",and died in the flight for life helicopter bringing him to Tyler from Winnsboro.
Thinking back before this tragedy,this don't seem right...b/c the thing is....since he's 74 I MADE him go to the doctors appt I arranged just to be tested for anything that he didn't know about so we could take preventive measures,ya know? So after the many many tests came back,the doctor told us "Ya know....you DO have a problem...your ONLY problem is you wasted your time coming here for this checkup b/c you are as healthy as anyone can be"!!! This adoreable man got up at 6am and went non-stop all day like a 30 year old.I've always been amazed at how he could even keep 2 or 3 girlfriends at a time,work a day job along w/ other youngsters in 100 degree heat,yet never complain.
My other Uncle that smashed him to death must feel so bad.I can't even imagine.I'll be going over there today.I was gona go already,but the rest of my family and all their friends have been there round the clock.So I decided to let things calm a bit,if that's even possible,and go today.
If anybody remembers.....my uncle that died is the same uncle(and aunt) that I help drive to California to their son's funeral,who found out one month his heart and liver were wrapped w/ cancer and then died in a matter of days after finding out the diagnoses.Another family tragedy.
Will I EVER be able to go back to fun/happy/silly posts?
Guess time will tell.

Great Update!

2009-09-22T05:54:00.006-05:00

This pic is NOT what it looks like(lol)...he's my bud!!I intended to post this yesterday,and couldn't get around to it(Aargh!)Maybe you may have noticed Bill,the cool guy I met here on the net....he took the hour drive here to my house,and took my ditzy,down-n- out ass and had me laughing and just basically turned around a really "jump off the next bridge" mood!

I hope your reading this Bill,cuz you have no idea how much your visit meant to me.This fella is something else.I should have taken pix where we went,but he had me lauging so hard(while stuffing my face) and ...well...I just didnt think about pix until we got back home.

This sweety-pie took me out to eat the BEST Mexican Food I've had in a while...lotsa talk(not just me talking,I promise)lol...Then we decided to go see "All About Steve",which according to my favorite site http://rottentomatoes.com/ ,which is a site I really trust when I want to find a good movie to go see or go rent.Well,almost EVERY critic gave"All About Steve" a big fat rotten tomatoe,meaning that the movie was supposed to suck!But are u kidding? They were wrong this time.That mpvie was great! OK-Even though I DID doze towards the end,THAT is EVERY time I go to the movies.I'm hyper and even it's hard for me to stay awake when I get up at 4 a.m.,like I always do.But hey, I thought it was a hilarious movie.Sandra Bullock was awesome in this flick.

Oh and I think he was trying to help me with my issues about gaining these pounds!! (giggle)On the side of the road there was this big sale type thing,where all the stuff came out of like a moving van and was all new.They had everything from lighters to ,socks,to boxers and panties.lol....So we were piddle around looking at the cute stuff and we came across a box of those tummy/ass /thigh tightners.It was hilarious watching him help me find my size.Lord have mercy,I never thought I'd see the day that I would have to wear a skin tight ass tightner!But we got a good laugh over it.

Anyways...the whole time,I felt like I had known Bill for ages and was able to talk to him(before and after the movie,of course) as if we've been friends for years.I did some whining,bitching,pouting,but all-in-all he helped me realize that this damn shit I'm going through is NOT as bad as it feels to me at times.Total gentleman.Those,really,are hard to find it seems.I laughed on the way home telling him"Hey,I just noticed...you haven't even once asked..."you wanna go get a room"? LOL.Nor did he pull the tackle moves on me,and Lord knows I'm not saying I've given up on passion-stuff...lol....but I'm just not feeling it that much these days.Nuttin personal toward him,of course.So by him not making advances and just being a really good friend was really a good feeling.It seemed his only motive was to put on his superman cape and come rescue me from MYSELF.And THAT he did.hahahaha.

Bill,if your reading----->You rock!....... that was a perfect day and I appreciate you being so adoreable and coming to spend time w/ this certified nutcase.Your a smash hit in my books!!! Thanks again...

Looking forward to seeing you again!

WHY AM I LIKE THIS!!!!?????SOB!respond or dont!I'm nuts rt now

2009-09-18T19:10:00.004-05:00

sorry.had 2 edit the bullshit.I just think there's no fucking hope.all the rambling didnt change a thing.dont worry.i'll b ok...i guess.

What a mess!!!

2009-09-15T05:00:00.002-05:00

I have no sound whatsoever coming from my speakers (before I go further,this is REALLY gona make me seem a beer short of a six-pack) But wtf.I'm so irritated I MUST unload(blog) this or put my fist through the wall.Plan A sounds less painful.
I go to Circuit City and buy the Rocketfish 5.1 Soundcard...either 29.99 or 39.99,not the cheapest and not the most expensive,but the rep said it was the best seller.....So I'm told "Awww hell,that is SOOOO EASY to just take off the cover slide it in and bam! You got sound,a 2 year old can do it"!BULLSHIT!!!
From what "I" read ...it said take that bar off.So.....this is no shit! I took off the bar on the sound card that has those colored plugins on them and found an empty slot and had a hell-of-a-time making it fit in that sucker.It FINALLY went in and I put the thing back together and everything went right,it LOOKED LIKE!! It specifically said NEW HARDWARE FOUND (by the clock)..so I pop in the CD Rom and follow the instructions.Then all of a sudden my computer shuts down and then reboots,again and again and again!!! I read the papers again and it dawned on me!! WTF?? What did it mean plug in the cd-rom cable into the new sound card? Then it dawned on me,that the metal that was supposed to be taken off was the damn thing on the SIDE of the puter! So I start over.Put ot back together,and go down to a lower place to slide in the new sound card.Not the long black place I had pushed in ,in the 1st place.Secondly there are obviously a few slots that can be removed to allow the damn card to go in there with that bar attached!!RE-ATTACHED,that is!I tried looking for ANY kind of cable that goes from the CD rom to that new sound card and was again baffled.So I skipped it and put the case back on and plugged up the 10,000 wires and plugs back in...and son-of-a-fucking-bee-atch'!!! Wreaking havok again.So I unplugged it all AGAIN!! and put things back like they were to begin with.STILL NO SOUND! and frankly I don't give a fuck really.3 1/2 hours of this over a "supposed simple sound card issue",this computer is lucky to not being catching dew on it out in the back yard!!
SKEET!! My never-met-in-person computer genious in New York,was nowhere to be found,and just so you know....I'll be on the next flight to NY.You'll recognize me right away.Un-combed hair,no luggage,in my nightgown,houseshoes and dragging this computer by the electric cord when you see me get off the plane.I NEEDED YOU BIG DADDY! If you were out suddsing it up while I was in this emergency situation,your a*** is grass,and I'm not talking about the kind you smoke.lol

It's all good,and them some...

2009-09-12T04:17:00.005-05:00

SO!!! It's obvious that my pissed off, fast a furious banging on the keyboard post----> WAS understood.I see my point was taken.

Thank you.

Great news to blog and remember.#1/I just got the envelope I have been waiting for.Texas decides to let Tammi Andretti(sp)...(vrooooom.vroooom) have her drivers license!! To drive on the road,that is...hahaha....OK-not funny,I know.But I'm legal!! So #2/My car is paid,I don't owe a thing for my wheels!! NO MORE CAR NOTES! and so therefore I recently recieved that glorious title in the mail!! #3/my insurance is paid for,for a year!! Well,they call it a year for some dumb reason,but another payment is due the next 6 month interval,so hal-a-frickin'-leuia!!!I know,that's not a word,right? Well,it is NOW.lol

People keep saying stuff like"hey,it's a good time to trade that sucker in on a brand new one"!! I have no words for them,just a middle finger for a response.I don't care how good the rates are on newbies....I don't have to keep paying out my ying-yang.Here's a pic...Ya see...it has a few miles on this sucker,but with it PAID for...you couldn't tell me I wasn't driving a 2010 Escalade!!As youj can see,I was a good girl,and have had this car since July,but DID NOT drive it until; Texas gave me the green light a few weeks ago.Boy-o-boy was it hard to have to ask for a ride,when you have a damn car sitting there...then the ride doesn't show up on time...so YES,I came REALLY close to pulling a REAL no-no,and burning off to get to where I needed to go.But where that self-control came from...beats the *&^%$ out of me.I suppose it was cuz Texas was dangling my license in front of me as if to say"SURE,go ahead and drive and get caught...we will just set you back a looonnnng time before you can legally drive".

I can't lie.I miss blogging,but you can be certain about THIS: I may not be able to hit you up every day,but I'm back to keep a check on who I feel are my true buds.As I said many times before.As you can see from my 1st blog http://www.tamra747.blogspot.com I have been on there getting all kinds of things off my shoulders', taking a few minutes to laugh my a*** off at alot of stuff...but all-n-all I've been there since Sept 2002,and I don't plan on going anywhere.Or who knows,those of us that knew Denny Shane,you can bet he never thought that he wouldn't be blogging again either,and that's so sad.One day maybe my kids can get a good laugh at my blogging.Thanks goodness they are grown and hopefully can deal with the nuttyness..lol

MY OPINION...LIKE IT OR LUMP IT!!

2009-08-29T06:14:00.006-05:00

Yes,I have had alot of %$#@ going on in my life,and what truly sucks is: all the blogger friends I THOUGHT I had....well,you never even left a single thought on the issue,like you even give a f****k.When this has happened to others,I felt compelled to go and mention to them on their site that I will be thinking of them,and will always be here when or if you come back to us.Nope--I don't need your sympathy,I just want to get 2 things off my damn chest,because I truly began blogging many years ago to use this as a diary,like the old small book type diaries w/ a lil key..so I never expected a response to anything I EVER blog about.But after quite some time,I realized I had made some really cool friends.But then some ppl I THOUGHT were true friends,were really just another stupid link on my faves list.

#1.To the people that left a sincere thought:Thanks for your care and concern.Really.You KNOW who your friends are when you need them,it meant the world to know that the people that I've grown to care about,as odd as non-bloggers think it is...some of us are actually at work,or at the grocery wondering...I hope so-in-so is okay,I can't wait to get online and check on him/her,or you wind up feeling guilty for needing more time to check on your blog friends.Those friends that really do understand that you can't exchange blog messages on a daily basis,but true blog-buds try and get to one another as often as possible.....and
#2.Kiss my a%% to the people that always seemed to put up that stupid front...but burned off when my life was going through the bullshit.
OK--so call me bitchy,whiney,on my pity-pot...YUP,I "AM" all those things and THEN SOME..more things I didn't mention...but I felt the fucking need to get that off my chest!!!
AND number 2 DEFINATELY applies to those people that I spent day after day leaving messages on their same post,time after time,with me asking "are you ok"? "I'm concerned about cha'"!etc...etc...on the same post that remained unchanged for days or months on end.Wondring to myself: Please don't be another Denny Shane.Who,btw,is very well known for his daily blog,and wound up having a devastating stroke,and that just broke my heart to pieces.So I wonder who else will have bad health and not be able to reply..Yet,I "DO" UNDERSTAND not being able to get back online for a number of reasons.But you know who I'm talking about.You KNOW who you are!
NOW!! I feel much better,cuz I've been dieing to say that!!!
And finally... SPECIAL THANKS TO THESE PPL------>Bill,Letti,Nachtawache,Tweetey 30, and Lindy...and of course Michael, Patti and definately Walker.Sure,I may have missed a few,but just cuz I SDIDNT SINGLE YOU OUT DOESN'T MEAN JACK,CUZ U KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Those of you who are offended...ask yourself why!
and if anyone has anything smart to say...I'm grown,
BRING IT.

Sorry,but can't hang

2009-07-21T09:14:00.000-05:00

I have missed alot of stuff here on the blogger trail....but I thought I'd pop in and let you know.I may not be able to blog so much.....not that I've been blogging daily anyways....but there is SOOOO much going on,that I just don't have the time or energy to keep up...so for now,I'm just gona pop in and see how everyone else is doing,if I get a chance.But for now...I won't be on my site for a while.Hard to explain why,but it's something I have to do.
Thanks for being a friend to me..you know who you are (smile)
Hugggggs
Tammi

What's the deal???

2009-07-15T06:37:00.000-05:00

I have no idea why my other blog won't stay open....everytime I try to log on,it gives me a pop-up that says "operation aborted"...so I have to "X" out,and it closes my page.It's REALLY pissing me off.I can't seem to get on my blog...wierd,huh?
So here I am...back on blog #1,that I closed because of my job not really needing to stumble across my bad behavior (back in the day,that is)!! I basically talked too much about things that co-workers didn't need to read about.BUT....since I no longer work there...what the F%#@!!!!lol
So maybe I can just pick up here and continue on w/ my crazy off balance life,and trying to make sense of it all!! I've made too many friends here to just completely drop out of site.Plus I always get the best feedback on some really tough subjects that seem to wiegh me down.
OK--so now how do I tell my faves list I'm back on blog #1???
Hmmmmmm......?Guess I'll just have to pop in and confuse everyone...lol
Shux....I'm still wondering why my other blog bites the dust when I try and log into it.....?
EDIT: OK!! Now something is seriously wrong here! I can't get into Walkers blog either!!WTF?

2009-07-08T01:11:00.000-05:00

I've been blogging since 2002,and this is prolly the only consistent thing I've ever done...so why blow it off now?Of course my other blog: http://tamra747.blogspot.com
has waaaay more posts than this one,and goes further back...but for job reasons' I had to open a new one,minus alot of the skeletons in my closet.hahah
The wierd thing is....about a week ago,I tried logging onto THIS one and a wierd pop-up kept coming up saying "operation aborted" and would blank out all my posts,leaving only a few things on the left sidebar.....Hmmm..? Pretty strange.Tonight I was about to email the blogspot people and see if there was a glitch somewhere.It even blocked Walkers...but it works now,so...I guess we'll see 4 how long.
Well,darn...I have lots to catch up on,but now I'm tired from explaining my computer bullshit...
So,I think I'll kill this one and go get under the covers with my laptop......WAIT!!! That's NOT what I meant to say!lol
What I'm saying is this computer chair sux on my back,so I'll shut it down and kick back in the bed w/ my laptop...lol
huggggggs to all my blog-buddies!!!

trying new program

2009-06-17T16:50:00.000-05:00

I wonder how this works....guess we'll see...new program 2 play w/

WOW! I posted twice in one day! Have I gone mad or what?

2009-06-10T15:36:00.001-05:00

5 Tips for Life: Little Things to Make Life Easier and More Fun

by ThompsonP, May 14, 2008

15 ways to make your life a little more fun and easy, save a bit of money here and there, and have a laugh as well.

Cleaning the toilet a pain? Just take 1 can of coke, pour around the bowl and leave overnight. Flush in the morning and job done!
Fuel prices getting you down? Try adding some pure acetone to your tank and your mile per gallon will shoot up!
On the subject of cars, did you know you use less fuel using your brakes to come to a stop than letting your car slow itself down.
Like to surf the internet? Download Firefox as an alternative to internet explorer, its faster and easier!
Ever think that shops are ripping you off? Ask for the manager and say you're paying in cash if the price is 10% lower, you'll be surprised what you can achieve!
Want a new mobile from a network, but its cheaper on another? Networks are told to undercut any other networks but only on request, so make sure you bring it up!
Want to save money on....everything? Try www.quidco.com and see how much cashback you could get!
Did you know all coke machines can be hacked? Imagine the buttons are numbered downwards 1, 2 ,3 4. The default code to access the configuration screen is 4, 2, 3, 1
Oil on your hands, cant seem to get it off? Try putting sugar and washing up liquid together and washing your hands in it!
Tired of not being paid to search? Try this.
Cats in your garden? Spray lemon juice around the edges, they hate it!
Water bills too high? Put a brick in the back tank of your toilet, this will make it use less per flush!
Another water tip, try buying a water conserving shower head, they actually feel better than regular shower heads and use considerably less water!
Did you know giving lampposts are sharp kick will turn them off for a few minutes? This is great entertainment for those long walks at night!
Want a drink but don't like carbonated ones? Add a pinch of sugar to any carbonated drink and it will become still, watch out though it's quite explosive!

HEY WAIT!!!

2009-06-10T15:17:00.000-05:00

I'm keeping this blog open cuz it holds TONS of secrets and hours and hours of things I got off my chest.So I just can't discard it....instead I am at this one now--------> http://texastammi.blogspot.com
Go there and see what I've been up to these days!! It gets kinda wild...but not ALL the time(smiles)

That is just effin' cool!

2009-06-10T08:00:00.003-05:00

Yippeee! Just sitting here playing on my new Windows Vista Dell Computer.
Vista has alot of different stuff compared to Win XP...
Besides,I have so much junk on my old computer,it was going sooooo slow! Wow this is nice being able to click and be RIGHT ON the page without having time to fold an entire load of laundry while waiting on a page to load.lol
Hope everyone is well...I have just GOT to get to your blogs and peep in.....Will see you asap....k?!

lorazepam drug - Google Search

2009-05-30T14:06:00.000-05:00

lorazepam drug - Google Search
just useing this link 2 study what i am taking..........gotta go,be bac k 2 continue

PETE & REPEAT!

2009-05-26T21:11:00.002-05:00

I done something (due to my temper)...that just hung my goose! I'm too freaked out and discouraged to even go into details....
All I can or will say is....there are some things in this world that I would give my left arm to be able to take back.BUT I CAN'T.
I have been walking the chalk for a REALLY long time now,and all of a sudden I do something TOTALLY out of my character,and I will have to pay dearly for it.
WHY WHY WHY don't I stop and THINK before I do certain things?
Dammmmmmmmnnnn-it!
So much for trying to do the right thing.I just slipped and fell face-first this time.
DAMN.

AMAZING!!!!

2009-05-20T09:51:00.001-05:00

I am shocked......I finally met someone...this really really neat-o girl that (I SWEAR)...you would think she and i were kin to each other!! I met her at a doctors office(long story),and we began talking and lo and friggin behold! She talks as much as I do! (Yea,I bet your saying "NOBOBY talks THAT much)!! HAHA
But it's like we both can't get a word in edge wise!lol.......everything she is going through now,is MY exact life! It's as if we have known each other all our lives! I simply adore her.....and not in a "funny" way of course.LOL (I'll call her L.T.)
But she's been the light at the end of my tunnel since we met a a few months ago!
She takes care of her younger kiddo's,a husband,and even her sister thats an invalid,that has that M.S. disease.This chic-a-dee has a heart of gold,and ya know... she even basically saved my a*** in a certain situation not too long ago,and as far as I'm concerned I'd walk through hell w/ gasoline drawers on for her.We usually get on the phone and talk for like hours on end,and it's almost like we've known each other forever!!!! Ya see...I have a problem trusting people,for many resaons,and ONE is that it seems like most ppl you meet always have some sort of motive to JUST be a friend.But not L.T. She's the coolest friend I have had in a long time,and since we've been hanging out,my mood has went from "FUCK IT"...to cloud 9!!
I have so much more to rattle on about.....but so little time.
Maybe this post sounds odd....who gives a f****,right? Cuz true friends are really hard to come by these days,and I really am happy I've met someone that we basically understand each other on so many levels.
Isn't that friggin cool?

Told ya so!!

2009-05-18T07:17:00.003-05:00

I TOLD everyone what I was gona do on Sunday.What part of "I AM GOING TO THE LAKE" did they not understand? Ohhh my GOSH! My job,my daughter AND my friggin friends called me yesterday.My job got me before I could even get out the door.
MAYBE...JUST MAYBE if people would talk like they have some sense instead of talking shit to people,they MIGHT just not walk off the job.Therefore you would NOT need to call me on the ONLY day I'm off....not to mention the fact that I told EVERYONE...even on the nationwide internet...that I will not be available for anyone on Sunday.So I warned everyone ahead of time,that THIS time...I'm not kidding,I won't be available.
So am I supposed to feel guilty today that I didn't go pick up A'million either?Maybe I DO feel a little bit guilty...but he was in good hands,and besides...I TOLD my daughter I was ALREADY at the lake when she called me to just drop what I'm doing and go get him.SURE I would have loved to bring him to the lake with me...but
1.We went out on a ski boat and he's too young to bring AND
2.It was just too cold for his ears to be out there.
Matter of fact,when I dived off the side of the boat,I immediately thought "So this is what the people on the Titanic felt when they jumped in that icey water".I froze up like a popcicle as soon as I hit the water,and even MY ears felt frozen inside for a while.
I had a REALLY good time though...
And anyways...why does that bother Ray so bad? He doesn't seem to give a shit until I'm off work and going some-damn-where.Am I supposed to sit at home boo-hoo'ing over him?
Well,sorry,but I didn't.
Matter-of-fact...I didn't even leave the lake until waaay after dark.Once it got dark,we put some corks on those rod n' reels and kicked back.So all-in-all .........I had a REALLY good time.
I got the world pissed at me today ,I think.
Well damnnnn...it won't be the first time.LOL

Too much work...not enough play..

2009-05-16T20:02:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm working my ass off while the world is passing me by!13 hours a day....for days in a row has got me down. It's Saturday night,but I'm gona just stay at home ----------> online.Cheers *wink-wink*...Gona get up early and spend my day off on the lake!! Yoo-hooo!

Browser Confusion...?

2009-05-10T08:01:00.001-05:00

For years I have used Internet Explorer...That is...until I discovered Mozilla's Firefox,which seemed to be 100 times faster than IE,not to mention really COOL....but NOW I keep seeing all these neat-o things that the browser Flock does,and I'm not sure which one really IS the best.No doubt Firefox is waaaaay faster than IE,but there are so many really different things that go with Flock,that I'm just not sure which is the best one to go with.It's definately time to wipe out my system and restore it back to factory settings,or better yet BUY A NEW ONE.But tons of traffic tickets and car repairs are putting a hold on a new computer(dammit)...anyways,what browser do YOU use?

What to do?

2009-04-29T07:17:00.003-05:00

Yes,I DID say that I absolutely loooove the newest addition to my house--BUT! I have to retract that.I mean,I really really DO love this little precious pekingese China,but I feel like a monster leaving her at home alone for so long by herself.Plus there's the little gifts she leaves me on the floor when I do get back.Since my carpet is dark blue in the living room,her blonde hair is a REAL drag to keep off the carpet--ALL morning AND when I get home at night.The vaccum doesn't even want to pick it all up either! So I am in a REAL pickle now. Rayven gave her to me cuz she couldn't keep her at her really swanky townhouse(according to the owner)....so I feel like an ass wanting to find her a good home.Darn,I just KNOW it's gona hurt Rayvens feelings if I get rid of her,and little A'millions' too (maybe)...or at least knowing my daughter --she may even throw in the A'million card at me on this disagreement--->but this just borders on inhumane if you ask me.I even smell a dog when I get home,and I'm not being mean(I hope)........but I'm not real kean on my house smelling like a kennel.
As you can see from the pics recently,I am beeming with joy over getting her,but NOW,well......I'm confused as hell about what to do now.I really WANT to keep her,but just yesterday on my way to work,AS USUAL,I forget at least 3-5 things each time I try to leave...so everytime I would come back in the house to get something little China would be so happy and bouncing around so cheerful,squatting down on her front 2 feet like she's playing w/ me---and all I could say was "don't get too excited pup,I just forgot my book"! Then have to go right back out again slamming the door in her face.Crud,I'm in a real jam.I don't want to hurt Rayvens' feelings,but I really just don't think I'm being fair to the little puppy.
UPDATE: CAN U PLZZ VOTE ON MY NEW POLL(CASEY ANTHON CASE)
and it would be too cool if you would add your pin on my site map on the right....pretty please!!(that's me begging)

2009-04-25T07:51:00.002-05:00

Just checking out how this new site works
Gotta go catch up on my blogging faves at http://ping.fm/ElsY5

BOTH GIRLS' ON THE WAY 2 DALLAS!!

2009-04-24T23:34:00.007-05:00

Yup! As you can see I have been burnin' up the camera today!!
Look at my 2 pretty girls! They are headed off to Dallas to have some fun,and leaving poor ol' mom at home--yesss,I decided to be
a good girl tonight and stay at home!
;-}
Wow! that's 2 posts in ONE day---and pictures to boot in both posts.Imagine THAT!?lol

My Newest Addition to New House

2009-04-24T14:24:00.005-05:00

Isn't she just adoreable?Her name is China,and she's still a lil pup.
OK--first stop laughing at my run-down slippers,ok?These suckers are SO come-feee!
Seems my daughter can't have her at her house(due to landlord issues),so she's in my care now.I'm pretty sure China will be just like the last pup she gave me to keep(the Shitzu"Candy") who,btw,is no longer with us---but Rayven lives in swanky type places where no pets are allowed,and once again I wind up with her little bundles of joy.Only one problem though.I take her outside often,and she'll come right back in and poop.Well,cripes at least her "going place" is on the linoleum in the hall,and not the carpet,so I gotta give her props for that at least.But I DO need to surf the net and find a cure for this pooping in the house bizz.Candy was already house trained before I got her,and I'm no puppy pro at that sorta thing..but doo-doo'ing(as we call it) in the house is a big no-no,so I'm trying to figure out the best route to take with this.
Me---"Rayven is she like house broken"?
Rayven---"Ohhhh yes Mom,just take her out a few times a day and she'll never doo-doo in the house"
Me--"Then can you explain to me what that big pile of brown stuff is in the corner of your living room"?
Rayven---"Ummm.......I think it was another dog that was here visiting"
(everyone in the room explodes into laughter except Rayven who,btw,was TRYING like hell to keep a straight face---cuz she's NOT very good at lieing to me)

OK.......did she really think I would buy that crock of shit?No pun intended.As if China decided to one day invite a few other dogs over,and one of them had the NERVE to shit on the living room floor--I told her,whether she did it or not,I would still take her,but not until she fessed-up about the excrement in the friggin living room.So of course she laughed and said that she must have not taken her out soon enough...well no shit sherlock(again,no pun intended)

UP 4 GRABS/Sugardaddyforme.com!!

2009-04-18T05:28:00.000-05:00

.Guess what I've been up to? I'm on a sugardaddyforme.com...Imagine that??
Oh well...wtf? It's worth a try.It's the latest thing to be doing these days I guess.
This new place I just bought into sure is friggin lonely.Borrreing!(can I even spell that)...So how bout something new and exciting---maybe even dangerous(hope NOT!)
Plan A: Try something new.
Plan B: ? Umm...what's plan B? Darn,I'm still stuck on plan A. lol

Easter Pics w/ my favorite lil dude!

2009-04-13T13:34:00.008-05:00

We had our Easter egg hunt on (Sat.)the day before Easter.I got so tickled watching A'million snatching up those eggs.Oddly enough,this year nobody did the boiled eggs,cuz last year some weren't found in the Churchs' grass,so the guy that weed eated got splattered w/ a rotten egg.Eeeewwww!!So we just put candy and money in plastic eggs.Needless to say Mil-Mil was a chocolate mess on top the suger high he had nearly ran me crazy(it was soooo worth it though)...PLUS as you can see I'm STILL in the middle of a huge mess trying to get everything unboxxed and put where it needs to go.I(n fact,Im just putting stuff where it will fit.I'll worry about organizing later.lol...That picture doesn't even show HALF of the stuff that needs to be done around here.I'm actually online,taking a friggin break now.Oh,and I was shocked on Sunday,when I took A'million to Church.He was clapping and jamming to the music,and sat still like the perfect lil angel that he is!I lost my camera,so I camcorded him jammin in Church(found my camera later...whew!)...then after the preacher started preaching he got a tad restless,so I thought I'd take him to what I thought would be an empty Church nursery,but there were 2 teenagers in there w/ a couple of toddlers,and I'll be darn! A'million never noticed I left him in there,and played the whole time,never crying for Mee-Mee even once! I even heard him giggling in there during the service.
Hope everyone had a nice Easter...I'm SO sorry I haven't been able to swing by your blogs,but if ya'll could have helped me come move all this stuff,I would have had time to snoop on your sites!lol Wonder why I almost feel guilty for not checkin' up on my faves (and maybe I shouldn't say this)but sometimes no matter how many times I peep in on my faves,I never hear from them...uh-huh,you know who you are(if your even reading this at all)LOL

First Naughty Post...my bad

2009-04-04T06:32:00.003-05:00

I usually keep my thoughts pretty simple when I blog...cuz Lord knows if people really knew what ran through my head sometimes,it might freak some out!lol
But here's a subject that came up at work recently(among us girls,that is)...and everyone was just rolling on the floor laughing...and I really didn't think it was so friggin' funny.
The guy I mentioned a while back that I met and dated for a short time really did something that I'm STILL not for sure if he done this on purpose or if it REALLY was an accident(or so HE says)!
Ok,as you know I don't usually air my dirty laundry,as far as bedroom activities go anyways,but Mr.J and I were getting busy(the "J" stands for jackass btw) since I never called him by name,and btw,could care less if your reading this now J-Man!!
But here's the deal...him and I were "getting busy" and yea sparks were flying,everything was going perfect sexually!! Then all of a sudden I felt this sharp pain and literally lost my damn breath as if someone kicked me in the stomach!! Then it dawned on me this jerk had missed and rammed me in the a** with what felt like an entire baseball bat! I could hardly even get the words out "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME"!! Cuz I could barely breathe! I pushed him back and painfully rolled off the side of the bed,and was walking on my tiptoes trying to catch my damn breath! I can't say he was "well endowed",but nor was he a vienna sausage either! And for f***'s sake I KNOW I'm no ocean-hole(I can't believe I'm even talking about this)...but I have serious issues with this subject.HOW in the hell can someone actually say they did that on accident! He was steadily saying "I'm sooooo sorry Tam"!! When I could FINALLY get something out of my mouth other than stuff like "OUCH you son-of-a-b***",I told him to get the hell out of my house and NOWWWWW!!! Dammit,for a few days I couldn't even use the bathroom right,and without pain.One of my co-workers says she does that sort of thing all the time.Ohh-ma-gosh! I just think of it and I cringe.She says she loves it.UUUGH!!
This peckerwood was already on my last nerve,and basically that incident was the iceing on the cake.I ignored all his apologies on my machine,text messages,and even told him that we just don't jive! He keeps thinking it's b/c of his "so-called" slip-and-miss....and yes that's ONE reason,but I keep telling him it's more than JUST that.IMaybe I'm being too picky,but the fact that he kept farting with me in the room...AND the damn car,just really steps on my last nerve.
I wonder if I'm being silly about this....but the whole 8-plus years with Ray,he NEVER broke wind in my presence! I DID catch him farting big time in his sleep...and of course I would wake him up laughing my ass off...and he would deny it (as if he knew whether he did it in his sleep or not)LOL
I guess that's just a pet peave.Like once a while back,I went on a first date with this guy.We left his truck and went in my car to go out to eat,and we barely got down the road when he sorta half-lifted his ass and ripped a big one and said "OOPS,stepped on a frog"!! Believe it or not,I did a u-turn in the road right then and there and took him back to his truck with him begging me to forgive him,while laughing at the same time,which made me even madder.He thought I was kidding until I actually reached over and shut his door after he got out and drove off.Ok--so maybe I'm an asshole.But that's the way it is.
My co-worker said I over reacted about Mr.J and his slip and miss......but SHE wasn't there and got HER breath knocked out of her like a horse kick in the stomach!!

Excited New Home Buyer!!

2009-04-02T06:18:00.006-05:00

Well slap me down and call me shorty!! I DID IT ! I signed my life away on my new...ummm...used mobile home! I'm friggin thrilled! I SHOULD be packing and boxing things up,etc....but it's raining like cats n dogs,and I can't move stuff in this weather,and prolly shouldn't even be online in this weather...but I just HAD to share the great news w/ my buddies! The owner knocked off $100 for me to do the basic cleaning,and so I'll be doing THAT today after the water gets turned on this morning.I'm gona steam clean the carpets and ohhhh my freakin gosh! You should SEE the nasty toilets! I mean,the whole place is basically clean looking and all...but I'm really funny about making sure EVERYTHING is disinfected and scrubbed like crazy...but one of the toilets is freakin-A GROSS! How could someone live with an orange toilet bowl? No offense to anybody that does...but c'mon!!! That's just nasty!So I have my work cut out for me.I was appalled when they told me my damn electric deposit was $395!! WTF? The water was only $100 deposit,and of course since I'm moving to an outskirt town from Tyler,I can't transfer jack sh***.So all the utilities are different companies.I'm moving to Whitehouse which is basically almost here in Tyler...an outskirt,and since Rayven and A'million are in South Tyler,I'm only like 10 minutes from them,whereas NOW,it takes me about 35 minutes to get across town in heavy traffic all the way to get to Rayven's....so I'll be seeing A'million ALL the time now.Plus my lil boo is gona have his own room.I raised 2 girly-girls and have NO idea how to decorate a boys room,so any ideas or themes would be appreciated. Ohhh my gosh,I'm so excited.I took some "before" pictures to post,and then after I do some overhauling,I'll post some "after" pics.My camera battery went dead-ola after only a few pictures,so I only got a couple.I wasn't really looking for a mobile home,and always aid "HELLL NAWW",to buying one,as they tend to depreciate in time,but this was a really good deal I think.So I should be ashamed for useing the term "trailer trash" a time or two! I know!! I oughta be beat for that statement,huh?(sorry).I just never thought I would like living in a mobile home,besides the one w/ Ray on the lake.Oh,speaking of the devil....eat your fucking heart out Ray! I'll NEVER be coming home now!!! Put THAT in your crack pipe and smoke it asshole!
Oh,MUST call today and get cable/internet...I'd rather have my internet than I lights,but we all know that wouldn't make alot of sense,huh?hahaha

So Confused...blahhhh...what's new.

2009-03-31T22:30:00.001-05:00

I filled out an application on Monday to lease to own a house.I talked to the owner today and I'll just be damn.I got approved.$1,500 down and $550 a month for 9 years.On one hand I am friggin thrilled....but where I live now is stable and all,but I'm renting.The down payment I can handle,but a friend(he's a 79 year old guy) is wanting to pay for all the other deposits on water,electric,and some other bills so that I can get into this place faster.Plus a couple wants it as bad as I do,so I have to jump on this deal FIRST thing in the a.m.....BUT.....yup there's always a BUTT in the way,huh?
This friend R.,is talking about spending LOTS of time w/ me since he will be living literally a few houses away.I have a funny feeling R thinks I'm gona be MORE than just a friend...and I've TOLD him I like being single and well....dannnng,it's NOT his age that bothers me...it's just I can't see me being anything BUT friends w/ him.He's about to drop more than a few bucks and that's got me feeling wierd about accepting ANYTHING from him.I just got a really wierd feeling about this,especially when he slipped and said"this could be OUR room",when we were looking at itUUGH!That thought gagged me...but gosh-dang!! This place is AWESOME!!!! 3 bedroom,2 bath...garden tub and seperate shower.Walk-in closet that's as big as the master bath,including shelves in it.BIG ass kitchen w/ an island in the middle,fireplace...huge back yard,and at the end of the dead end street w/no neighbors up my ass.lol..It's just gorgeous!!
It just sounds too good to be true.Well...tomorrow is the day.Since today is my birthday... maybe this could be the best birthday gift EVER.
But things are going so well where I'm at,it's just that I can't stand not being a home owner anymore since Ray and I split.which,btw...that lakehouse is still in my name(long story)...but if I force him out, he promised to burn me out of the house and my family out of theirs.He's done this kind of shit before,and I have NO DOUBT in my mind that he's do it again.My lawyer even knows about what he's done in the past,and still thinks I should take that chance...but I can't imagine waking up w/ it burning,or even selling it and sleeping peacefully ANYWHERE.I've been in a house fire before and I STILL have nightmares about that time.So I'll leave things the way they are as far as that goes.
Guess I'll TRY and get some sleep.I've been tossing this back and forth in my head,and STILL don't know for sure what the f*** to do.I have to go first thing in the a.m to go sign all the paperwork to get this place,and dammit,I just don't know if it's the right thing to do.My daughter says PLEASE DO IT MOM...cuz I'll only be about 10 minutes away from her and A'million,plus A'million would even have his own room.My Mom says DON'T DO IT!! Cuz this guy sounds crazy enough to do something devious when he gets rejected...so I'm sooooo freakin confused.
If I haven't been by your blogs,please forgive me....I've been sooooo busy.I will be poppin in asap though.

A'million at Mee-Mee's

2009-03-22T09:55:00.006-05:00

We have had a blast all weekend.I didn't have to work,so I had the whole weekend with my favorite little man.
Oh..last week,I DID finally meet the internet guy...and since I think he may be reading this...I better just say this "Ummm...he's a nice guy"....but YES,we did meet. I'll just say,he isn't what I expected.
OMG! A'million,you are JUST like your Mom....if I let you....you would eat an entire jar of pickles.lol

Visiting Friend!

2009-03-17T09:04:00.005-05:00

I wussed out last night.I was about to finally meet someone in person that I met online,and wound up staying up at the hospital with my friend instead.He got a nasty spider bite!!! UuGH!
He'll be okay they say...but I've never seen such a wicked bump!!Ooowweee!Ouch!
I wanted to meet this dude,but I went and tanned and...HOLY cow! I didn't mean to wuss out,but I refuse to go to his house FIRST! I don't think he's crazy...but I don't know him,and he said he doesn't have a car,so I would have had to go to his house...and I don't want to meet people alone.Maybe I'm being to silly.
I'm sitting here in my car this morning itching and burning!I guess when I started itching while I was tanning,that SHOULD have been my 1st clue to GET OUT!
instead,duhhh...anyways,I'm up at the hospital stinging and burning and curseing this friggin laptop out cuz it takes so much longer to do stuff on it,than with my trackball on my home PC

Going Thru Last Blog

2009-03-16T13:35:00.008-05:00

I was just reading some stuff from my old blog...Sheesh! I friggin blogged 433 times compared to my 63 times on this blog,and I'll admit....I had somehow...NOT SURE how...but I had forgotten JUST how miserable I was with my "X".Even on a slow day I could see how pissy I was even getting over even just the little thingshttp://tamra747.blogspot.com/2005/02/confrontation-time.html. LOOK how crazy I was getting over a friggin TV Show!Sometimes I'm glad I blogged my insane thoughts.At least I can look back at what I was doing this time last year,or the years before and for F***'s sake!! I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT AGAIN!!
OH!! YOU want me to come home?To what fucker? that same ol' stupid bullshit?Cuz you damn sure haven't changed--but as you can see!! I HAVE CHANGED! Your ALREADY saying I can't work where I work...which reminded me of something! BEFORE that medical shit happened.YOU GOT ME LAYED OFF OF THE BEST JOB I HAD with your constant nagging and yelling at me in the parking lot.Not to mention making the owner feel threatened! I just don't think I can go through anymore emotional roller coaster rides w/ you!Ya see! You have me doing it NOW.I can only imagine what it will be like AGAIN! We TRYED this "one more time" thing! HOW MANY ONE MORE TIMES?
Dammit!!You got me in that crazy place! Your I looove you baby crap is so OLD.Who invented TEXT MESSAGING anyways? And wait! What's worse is "I'M" the dummy that taught you HOW to text!
*^&%$!! I miss the guy I met.WHO the hell are you anyways?After almost 9 years,shouldn't I KNOW you by now? You would THINK I would!I am reading myself talking about how STUCK I was.Ohh helll nawww!! I can't see myself feeling so desperate again!
Shift the dammmn gears...

Nearest Book
This is one of those crazy blog games.....got it from Cary athttp://www.bastique.com/index.html ...did you give up posting C-Man?
1.Grab the nearest book.
2.Open the book to page 123.
3.Find the fifth sentence.
4.Post the text of the sentence here.
5.Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
Mine says: "There was nothing for her,and she put it all back in the box,and walked slowly out to her car,thinking that maybe she'd go for a drive" (that came from the only book in here I see...Danielle Steel "Heartbeat")

Dramatic New Look/Purse Fever

2009-03-14T01:47:00.008-05:00

Sheesh! Look at the $$ my kiddo has in just a few purses!Dolce&Gabbana,Ed Hardy,Coach.. HOLY COW! Those aren't even knock-off's either.LOL
Isn't Rayven's new hair-do cool!! ?I love her hair long and blonde...but this new look really is super cool!!
She's not exactly smiling for my camera,like she usually does.She just seen my leg,my black eye,and friggin bruises....so she's pretty pissed.But then again...both daughters' have had to see waayyyy to much crap with this fighting and all

I said I would

2009-03-10T22:30:00.007-05:00

OK--so I opened my mouth and said I would put an update pic of my battle wounds...but I forgot to take one...so here is a pic of me and A'million today...of course he ALWAYS takes a great pic! But I just got out of the tanning bed and I'm a bit pinkish(as u can see)lol...Notice the redneck? And noooo that doesn't make me a bona-fide redneck!!HA..Although when I right click & enlarge the pic,I still look like crap,but thank goodness for makeup...cuz I'm tired of people asking.It's embarrassing to admit...so I don't.This seems to be the only place I can let it all hang out...so 2 speak.
My daughter seen my eye and leg and bruises etc...and went ape shit,talking about killing him.And of course she doesn't understand why I even F*** with him...but then,neither do I,so that makes two of us.Ok,so I really needed to get off that last post,cuz I'm STILL the idiot in the situation...no matter HOW I try and rationalize all of this.The REAL nutcase is ME for even hoping things would ever be any different.I can't help it.I miss the guy I met.He's friggin gone,and I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.I miss the way he done alot of things that no other guy has done since....does the word "multiple"sound too bad to admit?Nevermind.;-{
I don't miss losing hair every fight.Lieing to the doctor at the damn hospital,when he asked him to leave the room,so I would "fess up".Hell,I could keep nameing the good,the bad,and the ugly all night...but what's the friggin point?He keeps calling me.I know I should avoid this..but why in the crap is it so hard to "just hang up"??
"It is what it is"!
DAMN-IT Tammi!! MOOOOVE ON!!!!!! I'm driving myself crazy,I think.
Another thing....I want to move.Since Mamie is gone,this house is too big,and well....It just feels so numb here with her gone.I can't go into her room.I wonder if I'm being wierd about that.I just can't go in there.Matter-of-fact...I think this a*** kicking has kept my mind sort of (selfishly) off of missing her as bad as I thought I would.Even though she and I were at odds sometimes....I STILL miss her like crazy.I asked her son if I could post her picture,and he thinks maybe not now.I understand that.

Another A*** Kickin'

2009-03-04T13:02:00.003-06:00

If it ain't ONE thing...it's ANOTHER...
As you can see in the pic,my "X" got me pretty good.But from what I here,his eye is swollen shut.I had on a mini with boots on...and after I got hit a few times
The bastard stabbed me in my leg with some sort of tool,and it's freakin deep.Not wide.but just deep,so I have a limp.I TRIED covering my upper lip with makeup,but I guess from seeing the pic,it couldn't cover it enough.I have knots all over my head,alot of hair pulled out,the ugly black eye,and bruises all over.
All I wanted to do was talk to him and try and maybe work things out.When I decided I didn't like what I was hearing,I tried to leave.BIG NO-NO!!
PLEASE,I'm NOT asking for any sympathy...I don't even deserve that.I knew better than to be there.I just want to look back on this and keep telling myself "THIS IS WHY I GOTTA STAY AWAY"!!Sheesh! My upper lip looks awful,but a full frontal pic looks really horrid,so I decided to not post the worste angle.I look uglier than THIS..DAMN! I'm so stupid to actually think things would be any different!!

Sad Day at My House/UPDATE!

2009-02-25T09:59:00.005-06:00

My roomate is in ICU,and on life support.She has been suffering w/ a heart condition for a while now,and a few days ago,she fell down and couldn't get back up,she was just so weak.Her daughter and I picked her 100 pound body up and layed her on the couch.Called her visiting nurse and shecame over,took her vitals and said that "her blood pressure was really low and she just needed rest".I simply said "Ma'am,I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job,but Ms.B. doesn't look right AT ALL,and I want to take her to the E.R.,or call an ambulance"! So her daughter and I agreed and I called an ambulance.She barely got to the hospital before she went into a coma state,and then put on life support.That day she DID have some brain activity.As of last night,there is no brain activity at all.Her daughter flew in from California,and other family members are staying here at the house until her wishes are carried out.She's specifically asked NOT to be left on life support more than 3 days.Her heart just gave out.The sad part is she is only 61 years old.It's a sad day here for her her family,friends and of course myself.I guess God has His reasons.
UPDATE:
Mamie Lou Powell Bridges,my roomate got her Angel Wings at 3:22 p.m.
Arrangements will be made tomorrow for those that know and love her.May you rest in Peace Ms.B....we love you and will miss you so so much.

Funniest Video Ever says U-Tube

2009-02-13T05:33:00.002-06:00

I love this!! I REALLY need to be getting dressed for work,but I got hung up on U-Tube! Somedays I would rather take a beating than go to work,but I still manage to drag my bitching and moaning a** to the shower and go through the whole makeup and hair overhaul just to go make that almighty dollar! When I win the lottery,I'll post ONE time probably,and then be too busy spending money to blog....Nahhhh,maybe not,I'd send all my faves a care package.I can dream can't I?

Nevermind....gotta get ready for work.Overhaul-time.LOL

What will they think of next?

2009-02-11T05:26:00.003-06:00

Ever wonder what an orgasm is like for the opposite sex???
Click here: Virtual Orgasm Simulator
Hint Hint:Try both
We can thank Steve for this one.

Nude Steve Memphis

Sculptured Nail Blues!!PLUS update edit

2009-02-01T05:13:00.007-06:00

Since I've been working 7 a.m-3:30 I have had alot more time to do stuff,but no down time for blogging.Plus,for the life of me,I don't understand how people w/ sculptured nails can type so fast.I'm terrible at it .I make a mistake every few words.

Plus I don't have those little dainty hands like some women..lol....I have those "knock-a-sucka-out-hands"! So typing w/ these takes longer than usual.So if you see me commenting on your blog,forgive the mispelling and all the other screwups.

Have a great day!!!

EDIT---Feb 3rd,2009

Does ANYBODY know what happened to the Peanut Queens'blog? I get kicked back when I try her link,and I'm not sure if I have her email...but I miss her funny self!! So if anybody has any news...could you pass the info on to me please??If your readin PQ,what's up,hun??

Calm before the Storm!

2009-01-27T08:53:00.004-06:00

Ok--I knew things seemed too calm,and I really really felt that something wierd was gona happen,but I had NO idea it was gona go as follows:
I got off work and was headed home and had a police car riding behind me.No biggy,right?Wrong! Tyler has this new computer system that scans license plates and if you have a warrant for unpaid tickets(like the one where I slowed to a NEAR stop at a stop sign,due to grinding brakes)..which got me a ticket for "pausing" instead of a complete stop,plus inspection tag was out.What's crazy,is I was supposed to put my mini-baby-van in the shop the next day to fix those brakes and then I could inspect it.Nevertheless,I wound up in the hopital Back-2-back and didn't make the deadline on paying the tickets.So after work,I got pulled over,and brought to jail and my car got impounded.$749 to get me out after a night in jail,then I was thinking the tow fee for my car would be the norm:about$150! WRONG AGAIN! Weekend+mileage+towing,etc..was $438.95.
Well,besides all THAT drama,I was so appalled by another inmates terribly sad story,here is the link: http://www.kltv.com/global/story.asp?s=9729880
I met a really sweet 37 year old bank teller that had NEVER been to jail nor been in ANY trouble EVER.Church going,non-drinker,non-smoker,etc...with 4 kids she is raising.2 belong to her,2 belong to her X.Who,btw,the day before she went to jail professed his undieing love for her..you know the routine talk.."baby I looove you and can't live without you,etc..etc.."So she was excited that her and her X-husband were wrking things out for the kids sake as well.At 6 a.m.,she said she swung by the house and used her key,walked in and seen high scool kids sleeping all over the living room.Went to the bedroom where she found her man naked in the bed with a naked young girl! She politely woke him up so that he could see her and basically make him aware that she KNEW he was a cheater.She calmly walked out,texted him---no answer back,so 3 hours later she went back over there and EVERYONE had split.So she snapped.She took papertowels and decided to burn the sheets.She changed her mind when she started the bed on fire and threw the comfortor on the bed and beat it some to try and put it out and left.Afterwards the police knocked on her door and arrested her for Arson of a home.All the while she was thinking it JUST burnt maybe the bed or the floor a bit in the bedroom.Wrong.It had burnt the house to the ground.Nobody was hurt,but her bond was a whopping$75,000...so her preacher is trying to help her either come up w/ the 10% to make her bond,which is&7,500!UuGH!.
I spent alot of time talking to this really sweet 37 year olf mother of 3 kiddo's,that unlike myself,she had NEVER once been into ANY trouble.But her X-instead of going to Dallas that morning,he was caught at home bucknaked w/ a really YOUNG looking girl.In MY opinion,she had more control than "I" would have had! No-telling-what!I would have done,knowing ME!But I wouldn't have just walked away and went and texted him,Of course he ignored her text and so she went back over there 3 hours later..lit some papertowels to burn the sheets,changed her mind and tried to snuff out the fire on the bed w/ a comfortor.She left thinking the small fire was out.That is,until the police came to her house and arrested her for arson.In jail she told me she only THINKS that she prolly burnt maybe JUST some of the bed and possibly the floor some..MY QUESTION IS this:
What would YOU do if you walked in and seen the person that had just promised you his love for eternity and literally hours later,you walk in and see him asleep BUCK-NAKED with a school age child?
I would prolly wind up on that series on on TV called "Snapped"!!Man-O-Man! I busted my X cheating,but only by word-of-mouth,and he almost got casterated!! Can u imagine if I caught him like THAT!! I wouldn't be here blogging,prolly.I'd imagine I'd be doing some more time for a crime I couldn't take back!Now that I think about it...I suppose I better stay single...cuz that's one thing I can't deal with is a cheating bastard!(Yea,I got issues w/ that kinda shit).I suppose that's why everytime a man's zipper opens his brains fall out!lol.(sorry to all the "good" guys that don't cheat,cuz I KNOW there are some...but few & far between)...YEA! I said that.It is what it is!!
Anyways...back to what this post was about..lol...I'm happy to say the tickets are taken care of,but for pete's freakin sake,I COULD have went the cheaper route,ya know.But I simply chose to ignore it,so I suppose I better go handle-up on that other ticket out there before it gets this far!!Ohhh the worste thing about it all is when the cop comes back to the car,and says the thing I HATE hearing the most in this WHOLE world..."Ma'am,can you step out of the car please"??That HAS to be the worste thing someone in uniform can say to me!!! No wonder I have been having so many jail/prison nightmares lately! I haven't been thinking about those tickets much,but I'm guessing my subconscience was jacking w/ me in my dreams.

PARENTS VISIT! :-}

2009-01-19T05:16:00.003-06:00

On a better note...as opposed to my last post.:-)

My Mom and Dad came from Houston to spend the day with us recently (my daughter ,which is their grand-kiddo and A'million which makes him their great-grand-baby,and myself).They brought Quibbles,their Maltese (I think that's what Quibs is)lol..anyways,we were gona go out to eat somewhere cool,but no place to accomodate our lil Quibs with an outside patio area,so we decided on Sonic,which was a great idea! The weather was beatiful,and A'million got to play on the slides and of course Mee-Mee got in the big tent thingy with him,cuz he was scared to go alone...and NO I didn't jump around.Can you imagine the whole thing coming down around us?haha...I just bounced him while he just jabbered and laughed so hard.I don't get to spend much time with him as much as I used to cuz of my work hours,plus I don't get to see my parents as often either,so it was all-in-all a really pretty awesome day.

Here's a little history:My Dad married my step-mom when I was like 3 years old,and I have to say,I've been much closer to her than my birth mother in SO MANY ways.I've always said that my Dad couldn't have picked a better person in this world to marry,which sometimes is unusual for step-kids to say I think,cuz isn't the step-mom supposed to be wicked?LOl Well,that's just a storybook fable,cuz my Mom (stepmom) should have her picture in the dictionary under the word "CLASS"... she is the classiest,sweetest,most proper, soft spoken person that I have EVER known.The older she gets,the prettier she stays...I always say that I hope I age as gracefully.

Oh and Daddy!!In High School,people always thought my Dad was just some gorgeous guy I was seen riding with or spotted at a store with...when I would laugh and say "Are you kidding?THAT was my Dad you seen me with"! Nobody believed me...They were like "Yea right,that couldn't have been your father"! I used to get a kick out of that.He's older now and STILL handsome as can be!!

My pops has worked hard since he was like 15 years old,and just recently retired,and I am SO SO happy that he did.He's already had heart surgery a while back,and I think this retirement is long past due for him and his ticker.GO POPS!!

I don't talk about this subject much,but I will forever be grateful that the both of them.They stood by me when I spent my time in prison,which was no easy task.They visited regularly,no matter what unit I was sent to.They sent money,and wrote encouraging letters more than anyone else in my entire family.I still have those letters that meant so much to me while I spent time in that hell-hole.Always full of inspiration and "you can do this,Tammi",and "you'll be fine when you get released"etc..etc..They even kept/raised my daughter and never once put me down to her,which just meant the world to me.I'm not sure they know how much that really meant to me.We only live about 5 hours apart,but getting to see one another these days is harder than it was when I was in the pen.Matter-of-fact,I just told them that.LOL..I said "Gosh,I seen ya'll more in prison than I do now"!LOL (not very funny,I know)...but seeing them,even if it's just for a short time,is just awesome.I know sometimes they get just as agg with Rayven as I do,when we can't keep up with her,or catch her on the telly...but SHEESH! What can I say...like mother,like daughter...I did the same thing when I was her age.Keeping up with my fast self was impossible sometimes.We live in the same town sometimes and can't keep up w/ each other.In fact,I went by her house yesterday to bring the baby some stuff I bought on sale and as usual,her and AJ were on the move.I had just missed her and AJ according to her roomate.

Anyways..."here's to ALL of the parents out there that deserve recognition today"!!! CHEERS!!

They don't follow my blog---but "I LOVE YOU MOM & DADDY"!!!

CHRISTMAS FUN PIX!

2008-12-26T08:47:00.014-06:00

~TOP RIGHT/Rayven,Rachel(roomy&my adopted kiddo) and Rachels Dad.Mmm!

~2nd PIC My Rayven(minus the blonde hair)and roomate/my adopted child :-}

acting silly in bus Santa brought the boys./All of us & A'million trying to "break 4 it" :-}

~3rd PIC/All of us & AJ trying to break 4 it.Emelio didnt know what to play w/ 1st.

~4th/Mee Mee N AJ,boy he's a handful..too many toys to worry w/ me!

~BOTTOM PIC/Awww,AJ,you'll get your own bike soon enough babbbby!

I JUST CAN'T GET OVER IT

2008-12-17T06:38:00.000-06:00

I have posted 431 times on THIS blog...but only like 50 times on the other one that I opened....I opened the other one so I could shut THIS one down,but decided "what the heck"..my life is an open book anyways..I started this sucker in 2002,and that's saying ALOT since I'm so terribly bad at following through w/ anything.This is where I'm at nowdays in case your wondering why this one got dropped.Don't forget to bring your nerve-meds cuz my life gets a little nutty.LOL
http://texastammi.blogspot.com

I TOLD YOU!

2008-12-15T06:32:00.005-06:00

Yup!! I told you my sister is a "ham"! She has me crackin' up with this survey thingy that Patti http://patticakepatticake.blogspot.com/ ....hit me with first...
My sister,as you know from the previous post is still in Europe,and has been there for 19 years,and because of question#22,we lose touch every now and then...but in the end,we are more alike than she cares to admit.LOL..Cept' she's the Momma-Hen and I'm the blk.sheep.True to form her sense of humor is histerical.Sister Success(her) VS. Still Struggle...giggle.
1.Where did we meet? Probably in our cribs...you're my sister silly.
2.Take a stab at my middle name? I know what your middle name is - TamaraLee :)
3.Do I speak a second language? If you consider bullshit a language-then yes.
4.Am I a cat lover or dog lover? I would guess cat since you've had a few.
5.Do I smoke? Smoke what? Yep - I think so.
6.Color of my eyes? Depends on which contacts you have in - but I would shoot for green - like mine.
7.Do I have any siblings? A buttload!
8.What's one of my favorite things to do? Probably shop and surf theinternet.
9.What's my favorite type of music? Anything you can dance too.
10.Am I taller than you? I don't know if you're taller but you have longerlegs than me.
11.Am I shy or outgoing? Oh my gosh - is this a question - OUTGOING!!!
12.Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? Holy crap - REBEL should be yourmiddle name :)
13.What is my birth month? 31 March is your birthday!
14.Do I want to see a woman or man as next vice president? WOMAN for sure.I
15.Am a member of which political party? Is Redneck a political party?
16.Am I Liberal? Moderate? or Conservative? Definitely Liberal.
17.Have you ever heard me sing? Oh yeah - I've sang with you and it wasugly.
18.How many children do I have? Two that I know of...
19.Have we taken photographs together? Oh yeah - remember the photo session in Tyler way back when I was in the Army?
20.When is the last time you saw me? I can't remember - it's been a few years that's for sure.
21.When will I see you again? Hard to say
22.Have we ever had a falling out? More than once
23.If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that Iwould bring? Your makeup bag.
24.Am I right handed or left handed? Right handed.
25.What type of work do I do? Hmm... Let's just say you are multi-talented.

GREAT NEWS!WHeeeeee!!

2008-11-30T12:36:00.006-06:00

I have something,well rather 2 somethings to address.
The 1st thing,and let's just say I wanna get this out of the way before I talk about something more important.Everyone don't GASP*,but I got another car.A 2003 Ford Focus that I PROMISE to drive better than EVER in...OKAY WALKER?(before u poke such fun at my driving skills).LOL.
SECONDLY & MORE IMPORTANT: I got inspired by P.Q.'s Birthday post(which I just edited...seems I got lost for a minute)hahahaha...nuttin' new.LOL
But I had already been thinking about my sister in Europe.You may have noticed on my prior post,where she commented on the 26th as Twitter...who,btw,had that name lonnng before the website Twitter had it.Anyways...I have a really sweetheart of a sister in Germany that I always refer to as my O so succsessful sweety sister....Our paths don't cross as much as they used to..but she's in my heart ALL the time.But for Petes sake:I LOVE YOU DEARLY SISTER!
LOVE YOU TWITTER!!!!!!

Imagine that...

2008-11-24T06:21:00.002-06:00

ISN'T THIS COOL?
Only great minds can read this: This is weird, but interesting!fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid tooCna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rsetcan be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
OK--so NOW who gives a rat's a*** about re-checking my spelling(like I ever do anyways)...heck,I'm lucky to get to post and go blog hopping...muchless take the time to make sure my spelling is purrrrfect!
Wow...I must have given out my phone number a time or 2 the two days I went out back 2 back....cuz I have ppl calling I don't have a clue what they look like.Not to mention the girl...yes,I said girl that says I said "I bet you won't call"! and she's making damn sure she doesn't lose that bet.lol....Seems as though I drank a bit more than I thought I did.Gosh-dog..I came home moreless sober....what the heck??hee hee

WALK DOWN STRIPPER LANE!

2008-11-19T10:51:00.003-06:00

Wow.What a blast I've had this past weekend.But as usual,in my world,all good things must abruptly come to an end.
Yup...ran into a few lung difficulties.MOSTLY MY OWN FAULT.When I was working last week,I couldn't stop coughing,runny snout,and eyes watery,etc...breathing was an extra.LOL..THEN...I KNEW BETTER than to go out and pop and lock this ass on the dance floor-get hot-then go outside in the cold...So on Sat.,I lost my voice completley,and was screeching out my words at the Brass Star.It was horrible,but the screechy sound was sorta cute.lol.But what's worse is I went on to my Time Out Reunion.HAD A BLAST!!!!!!AND TOTALLY lost my voice completely.But hey..
Seen all my old crew,my bosses(Mom n Dad) and sooooooo many guys I did 100's of table dances for,and it was really fun taking a walk down memory lane.
Anyways....had to go to the doctor and was told to go to the hospital NOW....but I KNEW if I went I would be admitted and my job couldn't be put on hold...so I begged for antibiotics.He gave me those,inhalers,cough syrup w/ the promise to go on in if fever starts,and I assured him...MOST DEFINATELY.I'll go if fever starts cuz that's how I almost bit the dust before.
Talk about fun,so I must say:IT WAS WORTH IT.
Gona go see what all pics I wound up w/ on my cell phone that I can get on my computer.I did all the taking so I don't know if I'm in any...danng it.Maybe...but I got a few of Cricket the really HOT HOT dancer I worked with for 4 plus years at Time Out.Be back to EDIT w/ PIX
BRB

BORN A F****-UP!!!

2008-11-14T18:10:00.006-06:00

Why am I such a screw up?
I just wanna move out of the country...but the problem is...I can't run from myself.FUCK.WHEREVER I AM....I'M THERE TOO.If that makes sense.
DAMMMITTTT TAMMMMMMI!!!!!TOO STUPID 2 EVN POST THE BUSSHIT!!

EDIT EDIT EDIT: Since my poor-friggin-me day (ABOVE)YES,I Went out and got drunk in this and danced like I was back on stage again.But all the attention from MALES AND FEMALES felt great.I needed that boost.Yes,I oughta be staying at home licking my wounds but going out and hearing that I'm sexy alot,even if alot of ppl were DRUNK...Screw it...it made me feel much better.I took this when I got home,and since I done sooo much body rollin and dirty dancing I worked up a serious sweat and my hair was nothing like when I left here...so I left THAT out.lol
I was dancing and my mini jumped up to my waiste...hahahah...good thing I was wearing a cool ass G-string I guess.lol...and NO that pic won't be posted..hahahahahahaha...BUT as you see I was a good girl and didn't bring anyone home or go shack up....THAT makes me feel good about myself.NOT that I didn't want to or didn't have offers for geez sake...I just wanna save it for someone I know more about.Course I did see alot of ppl I know...but nahhhh....I was a good girl.See the time?I'm home alone...Lonely as hell,but I didn't go out to get laid.

PETE & FREAKIN REPEAT! #%@!&^*#+!

2008-11-10T19:30:00.002-06:00

I didn't think I would have to blog this again,but I guess I was wrong.
Sunday,my niece and I went to see the movie "Beverly Hills Chihuahua".As we were going to the movies Jasmine asked me to drive and of course I said"no".After we left the movie I had to tell her "no" again.But about a block from my Mom's,where I was taking her,I decided to let her drive that short distance the rest of the way.Only one turn to make.She put her blinker on and as we were waiting on the truck to pass in the other lane,she gassed on it out of the blue and the truck hit us.My side,the passenger side(front)looks pretty bad.But the truck looks totalled.None of us were hurt thank goodness...but I can't think of many other things I've done in my life that are THAT stupid and THAT dangerous.It's definately high on my list of the most ignorant things I have EVER done.
If I get feedack calling me an "idiot",it won't be deleted b/c I KNOW what a REALLY stupid THING THIS WAS TO DO.I still want to kick myself in my own a***.
Even though,like Mom says.."we've ALL allowed her to drive,even her mother".But none of us should have.Damn-it...me,of ALL people,should have known better.
I am SO pissed at myself.Both of us have full coverage insurance,thank goodness,and I'll prolly be in another car soon....but that doesn't even matter that much....cuz I'm just so mad at myself for being that stupid and irresponsible,that car looking isn't even high on my list right now.
Damn it.

OPEN HOUSE/I'M BACK!!!!!

2008-11-06T08:42:00.000-06:00

I doubt I'll use this blog,but I figured "what they hey"...I should have left it open cuz what do I really have to hide.My life has always been an open book.So being that I have posted like 430 times since 2002.. as opposed to my other blog which has umm..like 44 posts.So going back and readinhg what I was up to a few years ago is I think healthy.Especially all the winding roads I went down with the "X"....crap,I NEED a reminder of how miserable I was so this urge to keep visiting him on weekends will stop.He almost had me believing things would be so different....like my Mom keeps telling me"PLAY OUT THE TAPE TAMMI"!!! and when I do that....I wanna slap myself for even considering going back to that life.
I could say "better dayzz,better lays"!! but only the 1st part of that is true.LOL

I CAN SEE!! I CAN SEE!!

2008-11-04T06:30:00.003-06:00

Well,halleluia! I can friggin' see without my eyes watering like crazy.Yippeee! There went a few of my vacation days out the window.Just when I accumilate a few paid days,something comes up and snatches them.
You should have seen me trying to drive to work when this all started!Holy cow,I was just another wreck waiting to happen.If I had any idea it was gona be THAT bad,I would have never got behind the wheel.No sh***! I got about a mile from my house and all of a sudden I went blind(just about).I slowed down to about 10 mph,and heard a few HONK-HONK-HONKS!!!! Talk about scarey!! It's a wonder I didn't get stopped...which,btw,I gotta tell you about this one:I DID get a warning ticket a few days before my blind-driving!! Not for that...but would you believe,I got stopped doing 40 in a 35 mph zone.Not even a school zone.I started in my ridiculous "ohh my gosh,sir,plzzzz...crap"...and the cop looked at me and gave me the "Shhhh signal",and pointed to a box on his belt.Basically saying "hush,this box is listening"!! hahaha...so I shut the f***-up QUICK! and then I guess he turned it off eventually after running a check on my license,and we talked on the side of the road for about 30 minutes or so.We got a kick out of these velour type pants I just bought,cuz I mentioned how my daughter thinks their stupid....I should take a pic of them,they look like they have tree limbs all over them,so I bought em'! They look woodsy....different!lol...anyways,he made me get out and pose the pants when I asked him what he thought of them...lol...he said the pants and everything in them looked nice.OK! WAIT! I ALREADY got the warning ticket...I was just killing a lil time.haha...anyways,I heard his radio on his shoulder go off three different times w/ the dispatcher asking him "Are you OK"? He kept having to assure dispatch that he was FINE...after the 3rd time a police jeep pulled in behind his patrol car and that pretty much cut the conversation short.No he's not married,but admitted he had a girlfriend,so I better leave that alone.
I'm excited that I'm actually getting the new glasses in today that I picked out last week! I either wear my contacts or nothing at all.....but I decided that these Guess Glasses make me look smarter...I'll let you be the judge when I pick them up today.I really wasn't going for the whole name brand thing,but wtf! Insurance paid for the frames so I went the max.lol I already got colored contacts this year otherwise the frames plus lenses would have been free.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

2008-10-31T05:28:00.004-05:00

PICTURE:"YOU"VE BEEN MOONED"--->

I haven't been able to do much of ANYTHING that involves direct light.Meaning,drive,shop,somedays-work,etc....Well,it started out as a ragweed/hayfever type sinus thing.Then I chose to leave my stupid contacts in,and scratched my eyes w/ tiny abrasions that felt like HUGE deep scratches.So that when one eye would be watering like crazy and slamming,the OTHER eye would follow suit.I looked and felt pathetic.Most guys said I looked like I had got a welding burn in the eyes,or the feeling was prolly equivilent....so imagine that.

JUST when I thought the coast was clear,I put back in my contacts and by the afternoon,all the healing I had done,was out the window and I was BACK to square one.

THIS...my friends is the 1st time I've been able to be in front of my computer in a while.No light on,only the TV to the right,and the lightswitch is soooo OFF.lol

So I'm gona try and do some reading up on some stuff I've been missing....wish me luck.

Hoping all is well...just please please please be SAFE this Halloween for those of you that choose to celebrate it!!!

Love to all..